(highlight:: The Connection Between "Be a Winner" Mentality and Patriarchy
Summary:
The message of being a winner is pervasive in our culture, often represented by a confident and successful man in TV ads.
Jim Rome, a sports talk host, embodies this image. His listeners can associate themselves with this lifestyle by calling in and discussing their experiences.
This idea of dominance and control extends beyond professional success to relationships with women, reflecting the patriarchy.
This belief can lead to toxic behavior.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Trump is downright cartoonish, but this Be the winner messaging is everywhere in our culture That guy in all the tv ads the guy with the square jaw the sunglasses the stylish clothes The beautiful woman gazing at him longingly the gorgeous luxury car He is in control, right? He's got this and somehow it it's presented as though it's effortless for him If you're a real man That is what your life is like and by the way Jim Rome the sports talk host is pretty much That guy I imagine most of his listeners are not they're not wearing tailored suits living in a mansion in California showing up in cigar aficionado magazine, which he did But his fans Can associate themselves with that Life with that image by listening in and they can call in to talk with Jim himself About how that other guy over there the guy with the snake in his dorm Room He's not a cool guy like us.
Speaker 2
He's a loser and it's not just about success or being cool This is all deeply tied up with domination Power and control. It's not just being the top dog in your profession or whatever But also traditionally at least in your relationships Especially if you're a heterosexual male your relationships with
Speaker 1
Women when you boil it down That's what patriarchy is a master servant relationship And to the extent that a man soaks up that deep down belief that he's supposed to be in a dominant position With respect to women Of course, that leads to all the toxic stuff.)
- Time 0:29:10
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(highlight:: The Toxic Effects of Patriarchy and its Connection to Masculinity
Transcript:
Speaker 1
You boil it down That's what patriarchy is a master servant relationship And to the extent that a man soaks up that deep down belief that he's supposed to be in a dominant position with Respect to women Of course, that leads to all the toxic stuff. We've talked about throughout the man series And you talked about these ideas with terry real a psychologist Therapist and author who we heard from in the last episode Yeah, in the last Couple of episodes We've talked about how masculinity is defined by what it negates by the things that you must not be as a man Not weak not a woman not gay Not vulnerable Or to state that Last one as a positive trait you're supposed to be in vulnerable Like superman who's who's literally impervious even to bullets Or to chalah in black panther with that amazing protective Suit right or the movie in which Bruce willis becomes a super strong superhero.
Speaker 6
It's called unbreakable Right Here's terry real the lie of patriarchy is dominion The lie of patriarchy is hierarchy that you are above the world you're above nature and you're imposing Your will like a doctor on a patient Or a mechanic on a car You are above the system.)
- Time 0:30:35
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(highlight:: The Lie That Men Believe That Produces Patriarchy
Key takeaways:
• The lie of patriarchy is dominion.
• Patriarchy promotes the idea of being above the world and imposing one's will on others.
• Hubris, or overweening pride, was the downfall of Greek men.
• The belief in being in control and invulnerable is a trap that leads to failure.
• Even successful individuals do not have it all together.
• Men often experience underlying shame and live a lie of invulnerability.
• In reality, individuals are only in control of themselves on a good day.
Transcript:
Speaker 6
Here's terry real the lie of patriarchy is dominion The lie of patriarchy is hierarchy that you are above the world you're above nature and you're imposing your will like a doctor on A patient Or a mechanic on a car You are above the system. This is called hubris the greeks understood it hubris or overweening pride was the essence of all greek tragedies. This is where the men Fell was by their grandiosity and pride. You are not in charge of the universe You are not in control of the universe and it's actually a trap, isn't it?
Speaker 2
If a man buys into this idea that he has to be in control and be invulnerable He is bound to fail. I mean even the most successful man can't win all the time Everybody comes crashing down Eventually even in everyday life and even if you are the ceo or the national champion in this or
Speaker 1
That and you're generally riding high Today, you know deep down that you don't have it together all that well You're muddling through you're sure as hell not invulnerable Terry real
Speaker 6
Says that reality that knowledge leads to shame man have underlying shame All men have underlying shame because we all live a lie The lie is that we're invulnerable when in fact we're Not we're human that the lie is that we're in charge of Nature we're in charge of result. We're in charge of whether we close the deal or not when we're not in charge of shit We're in charge of ourselves on a good day.)
- Time 0:31:35
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