(highlight:: The Effects of Loneliness on the Body
Key takeaways:
• Being separated from people can cause a stress state that is harmful in the long term.
• Loneliness is a natural signal that comes about when we're missing something that we need for survival, in this case, social connection.
• If we use that signal to then seek out meaningful human connection, the feeling of loneliness may subside.
• But if that feeling persists for a long period of time, if it becomes chronic, the stress that comes with it can ultimately lead to higher levels of inflammation in our body and increase our risk for chronic illnesses like heart disease.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
When we were separated from each other, that placed us in a state of danger and that danger resonated through our body in the form of a stress state that was marked by an outflow of stress Hormones, which in the short term could be beneficial because they could focus your mind and ensure that you could react quickly if a predator was indeed behind you. But in the long term, that stress state can be harmful. When you transport yourself back to the modern day, what you find is that even though our circumstances have changed dramatically from those hunter-gatherer days, that our bodies Are not so different and the way our nervous system reacts to being separated from people, the way we react to feeling lonely, is remarkably similar in terms of experiencing an elevated Stress state. And again, in the short term, this can be beneficial. We can think of loneliness, in fact, as a natural signal like hunger or thirst. That come about when we're missing something that we need for survival, in this case, social connection. And if we use that signal to then seek out meaningful human connection, the feeling of loneliness may subside. But if that feeling persists for a long period of time, if it becomes chronic, the stress that comes with it can ultimately lead to higher levels of inflammation in our body and increase Our risk for chronic illnesses like heart disease.)
- Time 0:22:01
- stress, health, loneliness,

(highlight:: The Biology of Loneliness
Key takeaways:
• Loneliness is a state of threat and a state of stress, which can lead to counterproductive behaviors.
• Loneliness can chip away at selfesteem, and people may start to believe that the reason they're lonely is because they're not likable or not lovable.
• It can be difficult to break out of a spiral of loneliness, but understanding the mechanisms can help.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
There's something else that's going on in addition to the shame, which is that at a deeper biological level, because loneliness is a state of threat and a state of stress, we find that There are a couple of phenomena in the take place here that end up being counterproductive. One is that as our threat level rises, we tend to perceive people and even acts of outreach around us with greater suspicion than we otherwise might do. We also tend to shift our focus when we're chronically lonely more toward ourselves and away from other people. And that makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint, because when you're in a threat state, you want to focus on yourself to make sure that you're safe. That can also make it harder when you're interacting with other people to form a strong connection. But perhaps most insidious of all, when we struggle with chronic loneliness, it chips away at our self-esteem, and we start to believe that the reason that we're lonely is because we're Not likable or not lovable. And so in these ways, loneliness builds on itself, and that's why looking at it from the outside, one might wonder, well, if you're lonely, why don't you just go meet people? Why don't you just go to a party? Why don't you reach out to friends and tell them that you want to connect? Well, it seems like the rational thing to do, but when you understand the mechanisms of loneliness and the shame associated with loneliness, it quickly becomes apparent that that Downward spiral is not so easy to break.)
- Time 0:26:52
- behavior, inaction, shame, stress, loneliness,

(highlight:: Connection with self is a prerequisite for connection with others
Key takeaways:
• Connection to self is the foundation that we need to connect to other people.
• When we're connected to ourselves, we understand that we have selfworth.
• We understand that we have value to bring to the world.
• This allows us to reach out to and connect to other people.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Connection to self, it turns out, is the foundation that we need to connect to other people. When we're connected to ourselves, we understand that we have self-worth. We understand that we have value to bring to the world. And the truth is that many of us walk around not necessarily believing that or having moments of doubt, but we're not sure that we're good enough. It's not surprising that that's the case because so much around us emphasizes that we aren't enough, that we're not thin enough or good looking enough or rich enough or funny enough Or famous enough. But the truth is that that erosion of confidence in ourselves, of comfort with who we are, that can impair our ability to reach out to and connect to other people.)
- Time 0:36:15
- intimacy, friendship, connection,

(highlight:: Self-Acceptance is made up of two things: Self-Knowledge and Self-Compassion
Key takeaways:
• In order to connect to self, one must first understand themselves and what they need.
• Selfcompassion is key in this process.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And it turns out that there are really two components to connection to self, two components if you will to self-acceptance. And those are self-knowledge and self-compassion. For Serena, it was the chance to recapture solitude in a place of comfort that allowed her to reflect more deeply on her experiences. It was a chance to talk to people about her experiences who knew her and trusted her, that helped her start to see that the tendency she had to want to have more time for herself, for example, These were not the signs of somebody who was socially deficient. These are the signs of somebody who tended to be introverted by nature, and that was just who she was. So as she gained knowledge of who she was and what she needed, she also realized that she needed to be compassionate and forgiving toward herself, that it wasn't enough to know what she Needed and what her traits were, but she had to be able to accept herself for who she was.)
- Time 0:37:18
- self-connection, self-compassion, self-acceptance, solitude,

(highlight:: The Power of Solitude as it Pertains to Loneliness
Key takeaways:
• Solitude is powerful and calming.
• Gratitude practice is a simple way to reanchor yourself.
• Spending a few minutes in mindfulness practice can be beneficial.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
There's a tension in our modern world between being and doing. We're built as a culture around action. If there's a problem, the way we address it is through action. What do we do? Who do we call? What action do we take? What plan do we execute? It's all about action. But one of the things that I have come to understand more deeply in the process of talking to people and researching this topic of loneliness, is that being precedes action, and we all Know this in our own lives. We know that when we spend time getting into the right frame of mind, then often we can be much more effective in the action that we take. And so solitude is extraordinarily powerful because it allows us to focus again on being, and solitude can be experienced in different ways, simply spending five minutes sitting Outside and feeling the wind against your face, or spending time just listening to the birds chirping or to the conversation around you or to the ambient noise and just experiencing Your breath as it goes in or out. That experience of solitude, however it comes, can be extraordinarily powerful and calming. One of my favorite ways to experience solitude is through gratitude practice as well. To take five minutes and just remember three things that we're grateful for, can be a very simple but powerful way to again re-anchor us. So in this time of great upheaval, I think it's more important than ever that we find time for that solitude. And the key here is that a little bit of time can go a long way. And we're about spending an hour in mindfulness practice. This is about spending a few high-quality minutes allowing ourselves to just be.)
- Time 0:38:44
- self-compassion, self-knowledge, self-connection, mindfulness, loneliness, solitude,

(highlight:: Serving Others is not just Volunteering
Key takeaways:
• Serving is a way to give back to others.
• There are many ways to serve, and it doesn't always have to be volunteering at a soup kitchen or building homes with Habitat for Humanity.
• It is important to give someone your full attention when serving them.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
If we look around us, we'll find that there are many ways in which we can serve. Serving isn't always volunteering at a soup kitchen or volunteering to build homes with Habitat for Humanity, as powerful as those methods of serving are. But service can also be calling a friend who you know may be struggling to balance work and kids and could use a pick-me-up or could just use the knowledge that somebody has looking out For them. Service can be checking on a neighbor who might be elderly and struggling. Service can be helping a colleague at work who might be having a tough day, just bringing them a coffee or stopping to say, hey, I want to know how you're doing. And then actually pausing to listen to what they have to say. In one of the greatest gifts that we can give another person is the gift of our full attention.)
- Time 0:45:05
- helping others, favorite, caring, friendship, generosity, volunteering, kindness, relationships,