A key basis for good management is really understanding the people you’re managing. That way you know what they will need most and least support on and what types of support do and don’t work for them.
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- connection, understanding, mentorship,

try to start off by asking a lot of questions to get to know someone’s work style and preferences. I also try to spend some social time with them in addition to work time, to speed up feeling comfortable and open around each other.
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building up credibility as being both honest and collaborative.
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want to feel that you’re ‘in it together’
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Give them a ‘cross team mentor’: someone on a different team who can act as a second point of contact for questions
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Facilitate them meeting other members of the team individually.
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Ask them explicitly whether they have any concerns about joining the team, or how they’ll fit in
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Try to demonstrate some understanding of both their strengths (so that they feel appreciated) and their weaknesses (so that they know I think they’re above the bar despite those and not blind to them).
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- ambition, feedback, retention,
- [note::This reminds me of a podcast episode highlighting "3 things your employees need to ensure they stay" or something like that. I believe I have an Obsidian notes on it in my inbox folder.]

When I fill in my weekly review for my own manager, one of the questions on it is ‘what went well this week'
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Giving people a lot of honest feedback – including negative or not entirely positive feedback – can often be useful for improving their sense of how things are going.
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Writing down plans and expectations ahead of time, and then later checking performance against those, can be helpful. Doing this prevents someone prone to raising the standards for themselves from doing so unconsciously.
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Managers can also help their directs by contextualising feedback or the successes and failures of projects.
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reminding you how other projects this year have gone or thinking through how important writing concisely is for your job. Or it might look like discussing how to work on improving your writing or achieving weekly goals, to help you frame things as learning points rather than failures.
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Part of enabling people to set up their environment to work well for them is simply making clear that you want that to happen. Talking to a counsellor about your perfectionism might seem like a frivolous use of money and time. It could make a big difference if your manager makes clear they actually think it’s a very sensible use of time and resources.
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- perfectionism, management,

Having someone who’s happy to check in with you every week about whether you took some action towards these can make a big difference. It’s extremely important as a manager not to overstep or make someone uncomfortable by discussing things outside your remit. But I’ve found that, when my manager and I have gotten to know each other well, they have been a great person to help me stay accountable for my life goals (like what exercise I’m doing…).
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Generally having a very ‘light touch’ attitude to self-development to reduce the pressure on something that already feels both important and difficult. For example: Starting small (eg ‘the goal is to exercise once this week’). Testing things out rather than going all in immediately (eg rather than ‘I’m going to walk to work from now on’ resolve to ‘try walking to work once and see how it goes’). Discuss how it’s possible nothing will change, and that’s fine (trying this was still worth it in expectation).
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- behavior change, habits, management,
- [note::Micro habits FTW]

I’ve found writing that review and having someone read over and comment on it consistently useful. Here’s the approximate agenda I’ve used: General check in - so that my manager always has a sense of how I’m doingHow you did on last week’s goalsWhat went well (/OK) this week What could have gone better this week, and howThis month’s goals - I find having these useful because it gives a sense of overall progress to set broader goals and check the extent to which I’m getting through themNext week’s goals - helps to keep me accountable for what I think is realistic rather than changing the goal postsDiscussion items
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If you do have a feedback prompt, you might try wording it in a way that makes it easier for people to actually give feedback. For example, a question our team sometimes uses is ‘What’s one thing I or 80k could be doing better to make you more productive or happy?’.
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- soliciting feedback,

my boss and I did a 13 question get-to-know you style exercise, to understand more about the motivations, working style and personality of one another. It took about an hour, but I think it is a seriously good investment. I think we both came away with it understanding each a lot more, which is a great start to a working relationship. The questions were:#1: Where on the spectrum of introvert to extrovert would you place yourself?#2: What’s your preferred way to receive feedback, in terms of speed? (E.g., right away). What’s your preferred format?#3: What’s your orientation toward conflict?#4: How would you describe your communication style?#5: What motivates you the most, in your work life?#6: What’s your favourite way to decompress after work?#7: Who’s been the best coworker or team you’ve worked with? Why?#8: Who’s the best boss or mentor you’ve ever had? Why?#9: When have you worked with someone and noticed it not going well? What happened, and what was that person doing?#10: What do you tend to have a longer learning curve around, compared to others?#11: What do you tend to pick up very quickly, compared to others?#12: What’s your biggest work-related pet peeves (i.e., that thing that other people do that totally annoys you when you work with them)?#13: What does “work-life balance” mean to you?
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