(highlight:: 25sec Snip
Transcript:
Speaker 1
In Good We Trust is recorded at the Philadelphia Ethical Society in Philadelphia PA. For more information about us visit philyethics.org or follow us on Instagram at philyethics. Although I grew up in a pretty secular environment, Christmas was still a big)
- Time 0:00:00
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(highlight:: Christmas Consumerism and Gift Giving Anxiety
Summary:
The speaker reflects on Christmas consumerism and gift giving anxiety, stemming from childhood experiences of comparing and indulging in consumerism.
As a teenager, the pressure to find impressive gifts for family members led to anxiety, procrastination, and feelings of hopelessness. The speaker acknowledges the confusion between consumerism and love during the holidays and the stress to give the 'right' and 'enough' gifts, fueled by societal messages.
The hyper consumerism of Black Friday is critiqued as a capitalist frenzy that exploits and enhances feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and the desire to be loved through material possessions.
The speaker questions whether this is the best that capitalism offers.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Although I grew up in a pretty secular environment, Christmas was still a big deal. Like most of my friends, my brothers and I lusted after the sack of toys Santa would bring. On Christmas morning we had a somewhat vulgar ritual. My brothers and I would each pick a separate chair or side of the couch to pile up our wrapped gifts. Then we'd step back and compare and contrast the size of the pile and the number of gifts. Then we'd unwrap each present slowly, savoring the nectar of consumerism. Our spoiled perversion of Christmas's spirit of giving seemed so sweet. When I became a teenager my materialistic holiday conditioning began to weigh me down. Each year I got more anxious about what gifts to buy for my parents and brothers. Maybe it was Christmas karma. The very success of the holidays seemed to hinge on my finding impressive or at least adequate presence to give them. I felt pressure. Procrastination and limited funds made things worse. There I'd be on Christmas Eve having abandoned any hope of finding the perfect gifts. I just searched for what would be acceptable. Running in and out of stores as closing time neared. I felt hopeless. Helpless. The cheerful Christmas music mocked my growing gloom. Sometimes I thought to myself, oh to be a four year old again when I would have clumsily wrapped tissue paper around a decorated pine cone or some ten cent trinket and receive ooze and Awws from my appreciative parents. As a teen I struggled to get similar affirmations with my gifting. I've gotten past much of my neuroses over failed and feeble gifted demonstrations of familial appreciation, but I still hear echoes of this anxiety. Do you? Do you ever confuse consumerism and love? During the holidays do you feel stress about giving just the right gifts, enough gifts? If so it's not surprising. We're bombarded with messages about how presence demonstrate our love and earn us the right to be loved. Marketers whip up insane frenzy on Black Friday. This is our capitalist equivalent of Spain's running of the bulls. What an ominous event. Hordes of holiday shoppers armed with pepper spray camping out at mall entrances so they could be the first to grab armfuls of booty. By lots and then by some more. We will be loved. This modern hyper consumerism takes advantage of and encourages our sense of inadequacy. If marketers can make us feel insufficient, unloved and lonely, then we'll be more likely to spend a lot of money for those we hope to impress and yearn to love. Is this the best capitalism offers?)
- Time 0:00:19
- capitalism, conspicuous_consumption, worthiness_of_love, love, favorite, relatable, anxiety, inadequacy, gift_giving,

(highlight:: The Illusion of Happiness Through Consumerism
Summary:
Felix Adler, the founder of ethical culture, observed over a century ago that despite the mastery of conspicuous consumption in American capitalism, it did not lead to greater happiness.
The relentless pursuit of money for material possessions left people exhausted, seeking solace in cheap entertainment and partying. Adler pointed out that this lifestyle did not lead to a meaningful life, as even leisure activities were calculated as business transactions, with pleasures measured by the amount spent.
He criticized modern salons as being little more than fashion marketplaces.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Over a hundred years ago, Felix Adler, the founder of ethical culture, understood this aspect of American capitalism. He saw how we mastered conspicuous consumption but we're not happier for it. After working long hours to get the money necessary to buy all the gifts, we spend whatever's left on cheap entertainment and partying to soothe our exhausted spirits. This doesn't make a meaningful life. Adler writes, It has been said that the modern world is divided between the hot and hasty pursuit of affairs in the hours of labor and the no less eager chase of pleasure in the hours of Leisure. But even our pleasures are calculated in business like we measure our enjoyments by the sum expended. Our salons are often little better than bazaars of fashion.)
- Time 0:03:57
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(highlight:: Alternative Gifts: Giving homemade stuff, sharing stories, etc is often the most memorable
Summary:
Homemade gifts like poems, doodles, and local shopping can be memorable.
Alternative gift fairs offer options like donating to those in need or honoring others through micro-lending programs. Giving coupons for shared activities or family heirlooms can also be special.
In many cultures, legacy gifts shared with a story are more meaningful than store-bought items.
Time and attention given directly to loved ones can be more meaningful than shopping for material gifts.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
I mean, I know, I know many of you doubt your artistic ability, but give it a shot. You can go online and Google easy holiday gifts you can make at home. Write a short poem. Color one of your doodles. If you don't have sufficient confidence or time, you can still avoid mall madness, shop local. For those in your list who already have lots of stuff, consider increasingly common alternative gift fairs. There you can buy gifts for family members or friends in their name. How about a month's supply of formula for an orphaned infant or an acupuncture session for a wounded soldier? Or a day of meals for a homebound senior? I've made donations in this way and to honor others, I've given to micro-lending programs like Kiva. A number of ethical societies have giving tree traditions, where people buy presents for local families in need. I mean, it does involve buying, but most of the gifts are basic necessities like winter hats and gloves. At least this lets us turn the spirit of giving into a more sensible altruistic direction. When my children were young, we encouraged them to give coupons for shared activities or doing a special task. I mean, it could be going with a parent out to a movie or cleaning out a closet together. I wish I had known of this option when I was a kid, anxiously rummaging depleted store shelves on Christmas Eve. How about finding a family heirloom to gift? A grandfather's scarf and aunt's bracelet, an old family photo album. What could you give to a member of your family that would honor ancestors? I mean, in many indigenous cultures, the greatest gifts are not shiny, expensive and new. Their gifts of legacy handed down from generation to generation. Wrapped with a bow, given with care, and shared with a story over tea, these gifts can be more memorable than anything bought in a store. Might the time I spend as a teenager anxiously shopping have been better spent? I mean, wouldn't it have been more meaningful to give time and attention directly to my parents? Can't we be there for other people?)
- Time 0:06:13
- bonding, gift_giving, relationships, social_connection,

(highlight:: The Most Precious Gift We Can Offer is Our Presence
Summary:
Offering our presence is the most precious gift we can give, as it allows mindfulness to nurture and uplift those we love, enabling them to flourish like flowers.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Buddhist Kiknathan wrote, The most precious gift we can offer is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.)
- Time 0:08:49
- active_listening, relationships, social_connection, gift_giving, mindfulness, presence,

(highlight:: "This moment is a gift. That's why it's called the present."
Summary:
Appreciate the present moment and value the people in your life, rather than getting caught up in material possessions.
Reflect on the importance of the present and express gratitude for the time shared with loved ones, especially during holidays.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
I mean, my mom probably would have appreciated flowers and some attention from me rather than more junk. When she was in recovery for addiction, she exuded appreciation for the moment. She'd say, this moment right now is a gift. That's why it's called the present. Whatever your holiday routine, let's all honor the people we care about more than the gods of the marketplace.)
- Time 0:09:04
- favorite, mindfulness, presence, snipdpost-queue,