In the language of love, I couldn’t get past the first syllable. I was sure that on my gravestone, my epitaph would read, “He came. He saw. And then he came again.”
- Location 241
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So stop thinking of the clitoris as a little bump, and start thinking of it as a complex network, a pleasure dome, the Xanadu at the heart of female sexuality.
- Location 336
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because of its location, most sexual positions (especially missionary-style) do not properly stimulate the clitoris. As Shere Hite concluded, “Sex provides efficiently for male orgasm, and inefficiently for female orgasm.”
- Location 416
- sex, clitoral stimulation,

Many women complain woefully about men’s oral techniques: the lack of consistent, rhythmic pressure; their roughness; the mad stampede for the clitoris.
- Location 430
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Sadly, many women also complain about men’s attitudes toward cunnilingus: squeamish and hesitant; overeager, impatient, even angry.
- Location 433
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According to Rebecca Chalker, author of the insightful book The Clitoral Truth, as Western civilization (and women’s discontents) progressed through the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, “Women’s sexuality was seen as very different from men’s—increasingly weak and chaste and passionless.” Chalker continues, “Anatomists began to ascribe parts of the clitoris to the reproductive or urinary system. Medical illustrations became increasingly more simplistic, leaving parts of the clitoris unlabelled. By Victorian times, the orgasm, which was previously accepted as a natural component of women’s sexual repertoire, was seen as unnecessary, unseemly, and perhaps even unhealthy for women.”
- Location 476
-

Well gone are the days of kings and queens and royal decrees, but inside many a modern woman is an Empress Wu Hu, longing to be honored by her nobleman.
- Location 523
-

- Location 550
-

Some anthropologists speculate that a woman’s use of lipstick stems from her desire to have the visible upper lips resemble the inner hidden lips below—a signal to the opposite sex that she is sexually ready.
- Location 578
-

The friction created when the clitoral hood rubs against the head is a powerful source of stimulation and pleasure. The hood also protects the head from overstimulation; just prior to the release of orgasm, it’s into the folds of the hood that the head seeks refuge.
- Location 587
-

Like the inner lips, this area is rich in nerve fibers and is extremely sensitive to the touch.
- Location 590
-

In fact, at the peak of sexual arousal, the head becomes so sensitive that, with a little help from the suspensory ligament (an unseen part of the of the clitoris), it retracts beneath its hood and is often hidden at the moment of climax.
- Location 598
-

Beneath the skin of the perineum is a network of blood vessels and tissue, which fill with blood during arousal and become intensely sensitive. Dr. Kinsey observed during his research that the perineum is “highly sensitive to touch, and tactile stimulation of the area may provide considerable erotic arousal.” When making your travel plans of the clitoral network, make sure to include this southern hot spot.
- Location 606
-

- Location 610
-

While sensitive to stimulation, but without nearly as many nerve endings as the clitoral head, the G-spot generally responds to a more persistent, massaging pressure. It’s not uncommon for a woman to feel a fleeting urge to urinate when this area is stimulated.
- Location 645
- cunnilingus, sex,

- Location 671
-

To that end, a woman’s time would be better spent on Kegel exercises and the strengthening of the pelvic floor muscles—an exercise known to increase the quality of orgasmic contractions.
- Location 684
-

lubrication is a big part of the arousal process, but is by no means an unequivocal indicator that a woman’s been amply stimulated. She may be lubricated, but not necessarily aroused. These secretions are part of the vagina’s natural way of keeping it free of bacteria that don’t belong there. Conversely, a woman may be highly aroused, yet not necessarily well lubricated.
- Location 700
-

completion of the one that comes before it. Masters and Johnson broke down the process of sexual response
- Location 747
-

Masters and Johnson broke down the process of sexual response into four stages: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. With the application of steady, rhythmic stimulation, each phase builds upon the last in the creation and release of sexual tension.
- Location 748
-

stimulation of the nipples initiates the production of oxytocin, a hormone that creates pleasurable sensations throughout the genital area.
- Location 761
-

increase at least two inches in length.
- Location 768
-

“snuggle gap”: women want more interaction; men want to roll over and go to sleep. While much literature has been devoted to the “insensitivity” of men and the “neediness” of women in this respect, it’s far more effective to understand that the snuggle gap is largely the result of biology (men crash quickly after sex, women come down slowly), so don’t overanalyze, or get angry and pick a fight; instead, respect each other’s differences and compromise: fall asleep while holding her in your arms.
- Location 802
-

woman’s genitals are a self-cleaning system—more sanitary than many other parts of the body, including the mouth.
- Location 825
-

the traditional concept of a vagina is ‘It’s a swamp down there!’ but tidal pool would be more accurate: aqueous, stable, yet in perpetual flux.”
- Location 828
-

These STDs are highly contagious and can be transmitted from vulva to mouth and vice versa.
- Location 912
-
- [note::Can STDs be transmitted via cunnilingus? If so, how?]

•Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does. •There’s no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment. •Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence.
- Location 998
-
- [note::What are the three assurances of the Cunnilingus Manifesto?]

During foreplay avoid direct contact with her genitals for a minimum of ten to fifteen minutes.
- Location 1036
-

Keep in mind that skin is our largest sexual organ, and the entire body, from head to toe, is one big erogenous zone.
- Location 1045
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Sex researchers have observed that some women can reach orgasm by simply having their eyebrows stroked or their earlobes kissed.
- Location 1048
-

As she gets more aroused, look for the commensurate changes in her breathing, and tightening of the abdominal muscles.
- Location 1062
-

often enjoy “a clean, well-lighted place” in which to practice and observe their craft, whereas women seem to prefer the cover of dark. Compromise with candlelight.
- Location 1064
-

According to Sex: A Man’s Guide, “In a Redbook magazine survey of 100,000 married women, the strongest indicator of sexual and marital satisfaction among them was the ability to express sexual feelings to their husbands.
- Location 1066
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In terms of subject matter, there is overlap between men and women, with common fantasies including: multiple partners, soft bondage, anal play, cheating, watching others voyeuristically, and having sex in public places.
- Location 1073
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Harold Brodkey’s sexual saga “Innocence”—perhaps the greatest depiction of a session of cunnilingus ever penned;
- Location 1078
-

According to the authors of Sex: A Man’s Guide, studies reveal that about 85 percent of both men and women have sexual fantasies during sexual intercourse some of the time. The authors go on to cite a study by Harold Leitenberg, Ph.D., in which he concludes that people who fantasize during sex feel a greater level of sexual satisfaction and have fewer sexual problems in their relationships—even if the person about whom they fantasize is different from the person they have a relationship with.
- Location 1086
-

all they want to do is rub their noses in it and take in the full aroma of a woman’s scent.
- Location 1109
-
- [note::ME]

According to the teachings of Tantra, a woman’s upper lip is considered one of the most erogenous areas on her body because of a special nerve that connects it to the clitoris, and is said to channel erotic energy. Like language itself, there is virtually no emotion
- Location 1115
-

selecting a lubricant, read the ingredients carefully and stay away from those that are oil-based and contain
- Location 1134
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chemicals such nonoxynol-9, a commonly used spermicidal that tastes awful, and can burn and lead to infection. Also, stay away from jellies, such as K-Y, that are greasy and heavy. Best to choose a water-based product that has few ingredients.
- Location 1135
-

One of the most underestimated and underutilized forms of erotic stimulation, a good solid foot massage floods the bloodstream with endorphins and energizes the entire body.
- Location 1138
-

Take note: they consistently observed that women focused their manual stimulation on the clitoral head, as well as the shaft, mons pubis, and inner and outer labia. Because of the heightened sensitivity of the head, most women stimulated it at the peak of arousal, and avoided direct contact immediately subsequent to orgasm.
- Location 1143
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If she’s never masturbated in front of you, create an environment of intimacy and trust. Most important, let her know that it’s something you want her to do because it turns you on and because you want to learn more about how to please her.
- Location 1153
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Regardless of the hurdles, it will improve your sex life when you are comfortable sharing the act of masturbation with each other. It will not only prove erotically stimulating, but masturbation will also serve as a reliable fallback for those times when, for one reason or another, sexual activity does not lead her to orgasm and she needs to take matters into her own hands.
- Location 1155
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Yet another woman commented, “This may sound weird, but I love to listen to whale music when a guy goes down on me. I have all these bizarre underwater fantasies. Sometimes I even imagine that I’m the female whale and that I’m being called by the male whale, with his like, what, fifty-foot cock.”
- Location 1162
-
- [note::Fucking incredible. xD]

Let your penis rest just inside her. (If you’re uncomfortable in the missionary position, then simply kneel or sit in front of her vulva.) Linger. Loiter. Meander. Stay close to the entrance. Press your thumb against her clitoral head and gently flick it from side to side as you penetrate her with short shallow thrusts. Or press the shaft of your penis against her clitoris and then gently thrust between the folds of her labia without ever entering her.
- Location 1172
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For a change of pace, check out films specifically designed to appeal to women by directors such as Candida Royalle, a former adult film star who ventured out on her own to produce and direct under the banner Femme Productions.
- Location 1181
-

When approached safely as a lighthearted, playful activity, restraint is a fun, guilt-free way of acting out dominance roles and expressing healthy sexual aggression. It stimulates her body by allowing her to flex her muscles more intensely than when unrestrained; it also stimulates her mind by allowing her to surrender to pleasure and act out in ways that might normally make her feel awkward or shy. It also encourages you to take your time and lavish her with attention as she submits to your teasing. From constraint comes creativity.
- Location 1191
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Stage 1: in which we transition from foreplay to coreplay with the application of the first clitoral kiss       • Stage 2: in which we establish rhythm and acclimate the clitoris to the persistent attentions of the tongue       • Stage 3: in which we continue to build tension by focusing more of our energies on the clitoral head, as well as introducing appropriate manual stimulation       • Stage 4: in which we hypercharge the process of sexual response and escalate her level of arousal by internally stimulating the “clitoral cluster” in combination with the clitoral head       • Stage 5: preorgasm, in which we maintain the optimum balance of rhythm and pressure as she approaches orgasm       • Stage 6: Orgasm, in which we maximize the number of pelvic contractions and help her to realize the full potential of her climax
- Location 1204
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The fact is, when it comes to oral sex, it’s best for one partner to focus on giving while the other focuses on receiving—both are extremely pleasurable and best kept pure.
- Location 1242
-

The first kiss upon her vulva should take her breath away, so don’t diminish the sense of anticipation. Instead, kiss the areas around the vulva rather than the clitoris. Use your lips, not your tongue. Smooch. Nibble. But stay away from the clitoral head.
- Location 1246
-

Use your lips, not your tongue. Smooch. Nibble. But stay away from the clitoral head. Turn the position into one of strength; use it as
- Location 1247
-

her legs should always be closer together than farther apart, as she needs the full command of her pelvic muscles. She should be completely at ease and relaxed: able to focus on the pleasure she’s receiving without any distraction—physical or mental.
- Location 1264
-

When a woman is aroused and comfortable, her back will find itself flat, without an arch, and her genitals will be tilted slightly up toward your mouth, rather than driving downward—in short, the opposite of what we see in porn.
- Location 1270
-

To help her achieve this naturally comfortable position, prop a pillow or two behind her neck and shoulders. • A pillow propped under her butt will help with blood flow to the pelvic region, as well as provide you with better access to her genitalia, making it easier for you to connect “lips” and alleviate stress to your neck.
- Location 1271
-

Place a pillow beneath your forearms and get your “working hands” as comfortable and close as possible to her vulva.
- Location 1278
-

Position yourself vertically from her vagina. Other than the narrow flaring of her legs, your bodies, taken together, should form a straight line.
- Location 1279
-

All in all, you should feel perfectly at ease adopting a wide range of motions: licking for long periods of time, sliding your hands underneath her butt, lifting her legs and rocking her to and fro, placing a hand on her stomach, turning her body from side to side.
- Location 1281
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Cunnilingus involves more than just the use of your tongue. You need to get your whole face in there. Your nose should be buried lightly in her mound, with your upper lip and mustache area resting firmly against the front edge of her pubic bone. You should be able to easily use your upper lip and gum to provide light pressure against her front commissure, the area just above the clitoral head where her outer lips meet.
- Location 1286
-

tongue, it should easily be able to rest against her vaginal entrance and cover its entire expanse from top to bottom. This position enables you to apply a full range of motion with your tongue: from long vigorous licks to deft persistent flicks,
- Location 1290
-

Both the clitoral head and its protective hood respond to gentle, rhythmic tongue strokes as well as firmer pressure once she’s well into the process of arousal.
- Location 1317
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inches—this area of spongy tissue surrounds the urethra and responds well to the firm pressure of a fingertip massage. Rather than focus on finding a spot, focus on stimulating an area.
- Location 1320
-

Massaging the mons pubis with the base of your palm stimulates the clitoral cluster from above. Think of the clitoral cluster as an unseen layer of nerve endings that is sandwiched between the mons pubis and the vaginal canal—hence your ability to stimulate it from above and below.
- Location 1322
-

Like the clitoral head, the front commissure/ shaft responds at first to tongue strokes, but, once aroused, craves the firmer pressure of the upper lip and gum, or a fingertip massage.
- Location 1327
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This sensitive area responds to tongue strokes as well as firm pressure.
- Location 1329
-

respond best to tongue strokes, gentle nibbles, and playful fingertip pinches.
- Location 1345
-

responds best to slow, long licks and gentle fingertip tickles.
- Location 1346
-

responds best to tongue strokes and gentle fingertip tickles that just graze the vaginal entrance.
- Location 1348
-

responds well to tongue strokes, fingertip pressure, and fingertip squeezes (thumb and index finger) that stimulate it from both sides (internal and external).
- Location 1350
-

responds well to fingertip pressure, fingertip insertion, and tongue strokes, but also contains bacteria that should be prevented from commingling with other parts of the vulva.
- Location 1353
-

Tease her, taunt her, tantalize her—make her think that she’s not ever going to get it, ever, and then, just when she’s on the brink of utter madness, give it to her.
- Location 1382
-

Make your first lick a slow and tender “ice cream” lick from bottom to top. Make it long and lasting. Take it all in.
- Location 1384
-

To that end, a flat still tongue pressed softly, later firmly, into her vulva will prove to be one of your most powerful positions.
- Location 1416
-

Like calling out her name in a tunnel or cave, wait until the echo has completely subsided before calling out once again.
- Location 1418
-

often difficult for a woman to develop the requisite sexual tension in less than fifteen minutes, and she will often become overstimulated and desensitized beyond forty-five minutes.
- Location 1536
-

Forget the term “G-spot” and think of it as a cluster—a clitoral cluster, that is. Think of this cluster as the unseen “roots” of a flower that wend their way through the “soil” of erectile tissue and pelvic bone.
- Location 1600
-