Here's the bad news: 88% of people say they are relieved when their manager is out sick (Leone 2020). Worldwide, only 20% of employees strongly agree they are managed in a motivating way.
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- [note::Bad managers are the norm]

Unlike the original managers who had to limit people's thinking, today's managers have to help people think faster and better. The best managers no longer manage people. They manage resources, processes, time, priorities, and even themselves. They catalyze results rather than control behavior. They help their team members achieve what neither the manager nor the team members could achieve alone.
- Location 425
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one thing they had in common was a practice of constantly experimenting. Rarely did they mention that their leadership skills came naturally to them. On the contrary, most confessed that they made countless mistakes on a regular basis. They just weren't content to leave their mistakes in the past. Instead, much like world-class chess masters, they “replayed” their days, noticing what they did well, where they went wrong, and what new leadership experiments they can try out in the future. In this way, they became the directors of their own leader labs. They turned every interaction into a learning opportunity and became great managers faster.
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1. Q-stepping Helps You Diagnose the Underlying Problem Faster
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a good manager cannot offer advice without first understanding the problem. Even though it might seem quicker to jump to a solution, a great solution to the wrong problem is still the wrong solution.
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2. Q-stepping Helps You Develop People's Skills Faster
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3. Q-stepping Lets You Catalyze Commitment
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Research shows that when people play a leading role in solving their own problems, they shift from mere compliance – doing what they're told, into commitment – having the drive to achieve results (Deci and Ryan 2008).
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Individual contributors succeed when they solve problems. Managers succeed when they help others solve problems.
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- problem solving, management,

1. Playbacks Create Clarity Faster
- Location 843
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2. Playbacks Catch Misunderstandings Faster
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- h4,

3. Playbacks Build Trust Faster
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- h4,

Content Playback
- Location 870
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Play back the key information you heard. Example: It sounds like you said _____. Did I get that right?
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Split-track
- Location 872
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Play back and separate points when speakers bring up multiple topics. Example: I think I heard two things: _____ and _____. Is that right? Which of those should we talk about first?
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Feelings Playback
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Play back the feelings you sense the speaker is experiencing. Example: Sounds like you're feeling _____. (excited, energized, motivated, hopeful, proud, connected, unsure, hurt, angry, left out, disappointed, sad, worried, insecure, stuck)
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Needs Playback
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Play back the underlying need the speaker seems to have. Example: So, it seems like what you're needing is more _____. (reassurance, connection, clarity, meaning, security, respect, recognition, trust, understanding, spontaneity, growth, freedom)
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Playback pull
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Ask someone to play back what you said to ensure understanding. Example: I know I just said a lot. Would you mind playing back what we discussed to make sure we're seeing it the same way?
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What does _____ mean to you? Can you share an example? What's your definition of _____? What do you see as the impact of ____? How would we measure that? How would we know we've succeeded?
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1. Deblurring Prevents Miscommunication Faster
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2. Deblurring Improves Feedback Faster
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3. Deblurring Improves Decision-Making Faster
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Validate
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Care statement:
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Example: I want to find a solution you're happy about.
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Normalizing statement:
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Example: Your reaction makes sense.
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Acknowledgment:
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Example: This stuff is hard.
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Thanks:
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Example: Thank you for bringing this up to me.
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1. Linkups Create Alignment Faster
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2. Linkups Enable Autonomy
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3. Linkups Get You Buy-in Faster
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Framing Linkup:
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The reason I ask is … My intention in doing this is … Can you help me understand your reasoning?
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Impact Linkup:
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The impact of doing this is … I mention it because … What do you see as the impact of this?
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Benefit Linkup:
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This will help us achieve … What's good about this is … What's important to you about it?
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Outcome Linkup:
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The end result should be … We're measuring success by … What's your definition of “done”?
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Passion Linkup:
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I'm really excited about this because … I love the idea of doing this since … What's most exciting to you about it?
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Overall Linkup:
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This links up to … What does this link up to?
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1. Pausing Creates Sustained Productivity
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2. Pausing Sparks Innovation Faster
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3. Pausing Resolves Conflict Faster
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Micro Pauses (a few seconds or minutes)
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Examples: Pause to Q-step before answering a question. Pause to breathe before responding when hurt or angry. Pause to Linkup before starting a new task or project. Pause to stretch, get up, or take a mini-dance break.
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Meso Pauses (one or more hours)
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Examples: Pause to exercise. Pause to eat an uninterrupted meal. Pause to move away from a challenge when stuck. Pause to reflect on the week's goals.
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Macro Pauses (one or more days)
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Examples: Pause for a full day to Extract learnings from the year. Pause for several days to do long-term planning. Pause to “unplug” pre- or post-work and on the weekends. Pause to take a full-blown vacation.
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These forms of learning are all important, but a little-known truth about the brain is that people learn best when they reflect. In fact, reflecting can even lead to more rapid skill-building than additional practice (Karpicke 2012). According to the famous education reformer John Dewey, reflection should include a look back at actions and emotions and ideally done together with others (Rodgers 2002).
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Many of the great managers we studied had an “after-action review” template of some kind for themselves and their teams. Many call it a retro or a debrief and several use the term “blameless post-mortem” (the key word being “blameless” to keep the focus on the situation rather than the person). Whatever the name, the most common components include: What went well What didn't go well What we can do differently next time
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Most managers admit that the first few team reviews are typically uncomfortable. The mood is tense and everyone is coiled tight and ready to spring with justifications for their actions. Once the ritual becomes familiar and team members realize that the focus is on learning, they relax into the process and start to enjoy it. The more predictable the cadence (for instance: after every project, at the end of every sprint, on the first Monday of every month), the more fluent the team becomes in Extracting the learning together and the more quickly they improve.
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- [note::Make restrospectives/team reviews predictable]

Source: Based on Kruger, Justin, and David Dunning. 1999. “Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One’s Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, no. 6: 1121–1134.
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Reflect and apply
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Ask yourself and others what you can learn from an experience and how you can apply the lessons learned in the future. Example: I want to make sure we're getting the most out of this experience. What would you say your biggest learnings were? How can we apply these in the future?
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Pull for feedback
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Ask what you did well and not so well. Example: So that I can keep learning, would you share what you thought went well and what could be better, even if it's just a 10% improvement?
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Demarcate
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Give a label to a learning moment to make it more tangible. Example: I noticed that interaction you had with the customer. Nice job using your influence skills. What did you learn from that exchange?
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Do a pre-mortem
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Before a project begins, assume it will be an epic failure. Work backwards to determine the cause of the failure and generate ideas to prevent it. Example: Let's imagine this is a total flop. What could lead to the initiative failing? What can we do now to avoid those issues?
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Set a reminder on your phone or calendar now to ask these Extraction questions: Week 1: Q-step When did I tell instead of asking? What can I repeat or do differently next time? Week 2: Playback How effectively did I Play back what I heard? What can I repeat or do differently next time? Week 3: Deblur What blur words did I catch and Deblur? What can I repeat or do differently next time? Week 4: Validate How effectively did I Validate people in the conversation? What can I repeat or do differently next time? Week 5: Linkup How clear were the Linkups for everyone involved? What can I repeat or do differently next time? Week 6: Pause When did I rush where a Pause could have helped? What can I repeat or do differently next time? Week 7: Extract How effectively did I Extract the learning? What can I repeat or do differently next time?
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- [note::Questions to ask to extract learnings from practicing other BUs]

Because mastering these Core Skills opens the door to countless other competencies faster, we refer to them as “tipping point skills.” These are the smallest changes that make the biggest impact in the shortest time. These skills are: Coaching Skills Feedback Skills Productivity Skills Effective One‐on‐Ones Strategic Thinking Meetings Mastery Leading Change People Development
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take five minutes to complete this self‐assessment, based on the Core Skills you're about to learn. This exercise will help you learn more quickly and track your progress along the way: Leadership Scenarios Self‐Assessment Score 1–10 (10 = highest) 1. Imagine you have a team member who is demotivated by their work. How confident are you that you know how to coach them to find more motivation? 2. Let's say someone on your team comes across as dismissive when others share ideas. How confident are you that you know how to give them feedback? 3. Assume that one of your team members is constantly overwhelmed, falling behind on deadlines, and having trouble focusing. How confident are you that you know how to help? 4. Effective one‐on‐one meetings increase engagement, development, and productivity. How confident are you that you know how to achieve these results with the one‐on‐ones you have with each person on your team? 5. Imagine that your team is working on a large, complex, cross‐functional project. How confident are you that you know how to help them think strategically and avoid common strategic thinking mistakes? 6. Let's say you are leading a meeting where some people are going off topic, some are overtalking, and it's unclear how the group should make a decision. How confident are you that you know how to course‐correct and get the meeting back on track? 7. When change happens, team members often resist it or avoid it. How confident are you that you know how to gain buy‐in? 8. Assume that one of your team members feels like they are not learning and growing. How confident are you that you know how to help them develop in ways that are meaningful to them and helpful for the company? 9. Great managers know how to leverage their team's diversity, mitigate bias, and make each person feel valued and respected. How confident are you that you know how to be inclusive? 10. Great leaders are also great learners. How confident are you that you know how to keep learning and growing as a manager? Total leadership confidence score:
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In short, coaching is the process of helping people develop capacity to achieve results. Unlike directing or advising, coaching is all about catalyzing insights within others.
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How can you tell if developing your coaching skills will help you and your team win more proverbial matches? Here are several common symptoms of leaning too heavily on directing and not enough on coaching. See if you can recognize yourself in any of them: You are trapped in a hamster wheel of “quick questions” from your team members that you must answer so they can make progress. Your team members don't take initiative, propose ideas, or make decisions without you. You avoid delegating because you don't trust work will get done well, and when you do delegate, you end up redoing people's work.
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One of the fastest ways to develop your coaching skills is to get good at noticing when you have a coaching opportunity. How do you know when it's time to coach? Here are the four most common flags. We call them the 4Cs: Conundrum: Someone asks you how to handle their conundrum (like a problem or decision) and either has the capacity to solve it on their own or can build skills or confidence by doing it. Complaint: Someone complains to you about a person, a situation, or a conflict. Confidence: Someone is indecisive or insecure, so they are asking you to make a decision or take action instead of doing it themselves. Completion: Someone has completed a project or reached a goal.
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A simple way to ask higher-quality coaching questions is to use a coaching framework. The framework we've developed at LifeLabs Learning based on our observations of great managers is called the SOON Funnel. SOON stands for Success, Obstacles, Options, and Next Steps.
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SOON Funnel: “Success” Coaching Questions
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A simple definition of a problem is: success + obstacles. Until you Pause to name what success means to you, it becomes nearly impossible to generate ideas for helpful solutions.
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Sample Success Questions What does success look like to you? What's important to you about that? What do you hope to achieve? What would tell you you've reached your goal?
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SOON Funnel: “Obstacles” Coaching Questions
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The gap between success and obstacles is the crux of any problem. While it might be tempting to leap into generating solutions, great managers model the discipline to identify the actual problem first. Skip this level, and you will either end up with a solution to the wrong problem or you'll be trapped in a conversation where every option is met with a “Yeah, but.” If the person you’re coaching is hesitant to talk about their problems, be sure to Validate their efforts by thanking them for sharing or acknowledging that the challenge is difficult.
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Sample Obstacles Questions What are the obstacles? What concerns you most about it? What is standing in the way of achieving your goal? Who might be negatively impacted? What might be some unintended consequences?
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SOON Funnel: “Options” Coaching Questions
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Sample Options Questions What are your options? (What else?) What have you tried so far? If you could do anything, what would you do? What's different about times this problem isn't there? (What ideas does that give you?) Who else has solved a similar problem?
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SOON Funnel: “Next Steps” Coaching Questions
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With complex problems or when working with people who need more processing or solo-thinking time, you can create Pause by saying, “How about you think through different ideas, then we can discuss them next week and decide on next steps?” For important actions or decisions, get the next steps in writing in a shared document.
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Sample Next Steps Questions What are your next steps? What is the first small step? (What's an even smaller step you can take?) What is your plan? When will you start? When should we check in about it again?
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Want an easy way to remember the SOON Funnel?
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Remember SOON by associating each letter with a part of your body. Touch your forehead to remember to start with Success questions because it's where you visualize success. Touch your left elbow to ask Obstacles questions – since bent elbow tips look like Os. Touch your right elbow to ask Options questions. Stomp your foot to remember Next steps questions.
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The SOON Funnel represents the ideal coaching conversation. That said, the real world often limits the time we have to coach. Average managers treat this reality as an immovable obstacle, convinced they have no choice but to give directions and coach at some point “later” when there's time. But as venture capitalist Ben Horowitz has famously said, this habit collects “management debt.” When we focus on the quick fix, we save time in the present, but we end up paying for it (with interest) in the future by returning to the same problem again and again.
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Q-step Q&A
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Q. What if my team member truly doesn't know the answer?
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Coaching is about catalyzing insights based on existing knowledge. If it's someone's first day at work in your office and they ask, “Where is the bathroom?” it will do them little good if you Q-step by saying, “Where do you think the bathroom is?” There is plenty of information that should simply be one-directional rather than coached. For example, company history, strategy, policies, and requirements are all good things to tell. Be sure to reinforce people when they turn to you for help by Validating their decision. A simple, “Thanks for coming to me with that question,” helps build a healthy question culture on your team.
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Q. Won't it make me look incompetent if I look like I don't know the answer?
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Most people respond positively to questions. That said, it can help to Link up by framing your Q-stepping. For example, “Instead of telling you what to do, I'd like to ask some questions to coach you through it so you can figure it out yourself. That way you'll know how to handle it in the future. How does that sound?”
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Q. What if it's an emergency and there's no time to coach?
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Q. Isn't it phony to ask a question when I already know the answer?
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Coaching is the skill of catalyzing insights to accelerate competence, confidence, and motivation in others. Coach your team whenever your spot the 4C coaching moments: Conundrums, Complaints, Confidence issues, and Completion.
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when it comes to the workplace, feedback is any information you receive that helps you become aware of the impact of your actions. Sometimes this feedback can come from results (for example, an increase in revenue is feedback that your sales campaign is working) and sometimes it has to come from people (for example, feedback from a coworker that your presentation was confusing).
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we've summed up the four essential components of any feedback message in a model we call the Q-BIQ Method (pronounced cubic). You can remember this tool by thinking of cubic measurement (a measure of capacity) since giving great feedback increases individual and team capacity. Q-BIQ stands for Question, Behavior, Impact, Question.
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Q-BIQ Method
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Part 1: Question
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One of the most brain-friendly Q-steps is what we call a Micro-Yes. For example: “Would you be up for hearing my thoughts on your presentation?” “Can I give you my feedback on the product launch?” “Is now a good time to debrief about how that meeting went?” Why does a Micro-Yes question lead to more effective feedback? First, it prepares people. Surprise and mystery intensify emotions (Luna and Renninger 2015), so unexpected criticism feels worse than feedback we're expecting.
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A Micro-Yes question also makes people more receptive to feedback by signaling that it is a two-way conversation. When you give others shared power in this way, you greatly reduce the likelihood of triggering that pesky amygdala hijack we talked about in Chapter 6. The point here is not to trick folks into hearing your feedback but to give genuine choice over whether and/or when to hear the feedback.
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Part 2: Behavior
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The trick to giving great feedback is to focus only on behavior that a camera can capture. The biggest feedback pitfall is using “blur words” (see Chapter 3), words that mean different things to different people. The most common blur words that creep up in feedback conversations include: Blur words that describe a person rather than a behavior. For example, a camera can't tell if someone is “thoughtful,” but it can observe someone wishing you a happy birthday. Blur words that generalize. For example, while a camera can detect that someone is “always” late, it is highly unlikely that this behavior actually always happens. Blur words that make assumptions about people's thoughts, feelings, or intentions. For example, a camera can't tell if you're “not listening” but it can observe that you are looking at your phone.
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- [note::Only give feedback that a camera can capture.
Feedback pitfalls:

• Describing personal quality v.s. behavior
• Generalizing/exaggerating
• Making assumptions about thoughts/feelings/intentions]

To convert your blur words to behaviors, ask yourself: “What led me to this opinion?” “What specifically did this person do or say?” “What would a camera capture?”
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If you're worried that a one-time occurrence isn't a “real” issue, use a framing statement, like “I've only noticed this once, and I don't want to make it bigger than it is, but I want to point it out while it's still a small issue.”
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And whatever you do, do not sandwich your feedback. Despite the fact that many corners of the Internet will tell you feedback is best delivered in a combination of praise/critique/praise (also known as the “shit sandwich”), research confirms that this approach generally results in confusion and reduced trust (Bressler and Von Bergen 2014). The most nutritious feedback is small, bite-sized snacks, delivered frequently. If you have praise and criticism to share about one thing, give your feedback recipient a choice of the order. For example, “There were things I liked about the class and things I didn't like. Which should I focus on first?”
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- [note::"eedback is best delivered in truffles, not sandwiches"]

If you’re still tempted to sandwich because you’re concerned direct feedback may sound harsh, try starting with a Validation statement. For example: "I care about our relationship, so I’m sharing this feedback because I hope it can help us work better together."
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If you did not observe the behavior firsthand, do not fall into the triangulation trap. Triangulation is what happens when someone delivers third-party feedback that they didn't personally observe. Few things feel worse than hearing about negative things “others” have said about you. To bust up triangulation, encourage people to go directly to the source – coaching them and sharing the Q-BIQ Method. If that doesn't work, offer to join the conversation to help it go smoothly. And if this option isn't possible either, offer to keep an eye out for the behavior so you can deliver feedback from your own perspective, if you happen to observe it.
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- [note::Have people deliver feedback directly (unless it's sensitive)]

Part 3: Impact
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Once you've described the behavior, it's time to use the Linkup BU (from Chapter 5) to explain the impact of the person's behavior. Without an impact statement, feedback holds little meaning and doesn't catalyze motivation for repeating or reducing the behavior.
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Here are some examples of the Micro-Yes question, behavior, and impact statements combined: Is now a good time to share feedback about the event? I see you accommodated all our dietary restrictions, and I bring it up because my team feels so included at the event. Can we chat about new hire training? I noticed you haven't offered to lead any of them. I wanted to call it out because you've mentioned wanting to be in a leadership role, and I think this experience can help you build skills that would make you a stronger candidate. Can I offer some feedback on your client communication? I appreciate that you've been sending weekly progress updates to clients. The reason I think it's so helpful is that they can ask more useful questions now, which lets us all make faster progress.
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On the other hand, if the feedback you share is subjective, frame it as a hypothesis. For example, “I noticed when you reviewed Quinn's proposal, you shared what you disliked and nothing about what you liked. I may be wrong here, but I mention it because I got the sense they left that meeting demotivated. What was your impression?”
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Part 4: Question
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Here are some sample questions you can ask to invite your feedback recipient into the conversation: “What are your thoughts?” “How do you see it?” “Does that resonate with you?”
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When you end your feedback with a question and a Pause, you signal that you care about the other person's perspective, increasing their likelihood of changing their behavior.
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To avoid miscommunication, wrap up your conversation by agreeing to next steps. We often hear from our workshop participants that they gave perfect feedback only to find that nothing changed. To avoid this, wrap up your feedback conversations with the N of the SOON Funnel and write it down for even greater accountability. For example, “So we both know what to expect, would you share how you see the next steps? I'll jot it down in our one-on-one doc so we're on the same page.”
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Practice Station
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To make this tool even easier to remember, we use the feedback template “I noticed that … I mention it because …” But when you put this tool to use, use any language that feels most natural to you:
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- [note::Framework for Giving Feedback:

• "Can I... (ask for permission)?"
• "I noticed... (observation)"
• "I mention this because... (impact)"]

Feedback = I observe something you might not be aware of + I bring it to your awareness + you decide what to do. For example, “I noticed you spoke several times in the meeting and most people didn't speak up at all, so we might be missing important perspectives. What do you think?” Advice = I observe something you might not be aware of + I tell you what to do instead. For example, “I suggest you talk less in our meetings. Something you can try is waiting until everyone else has spoken before you chime in with your ideas.”
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- [note::Feedback and advice are not the same]

feedback provides the best development, motivation, and commitment opportunity when the recipient decides on their own next steps. This doesn't mean that great managers never give advice. It means they default to giving their team members opportunities to come to their own conclusions first.
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- [note::Feedback is more effective than advice because is provides people the opportunity to come up with solutions to their problems]

First, adopt a mindset that authors Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen (2014) call the “second score.” The “first score” is the one your feedback givers already assigned to you based on something you did. This score is in the past now, and you can't control it. What you can control is the “second score” they give you on how well you receive their feedback.
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Receiving feedback skillfully includes the following steps: Play back what you hear so you fully understand the feedback. For example, “Thank you for coming to me with that! Let me play it back to make sure I fully understood. I heard you say _____. Is that right?” Step back to Q-step. Ask what led to their perspective (pulling for behavior and impact). For example, “So that I can see where you're coming from, would you share an example? What about _____ is important to you?” Play back to show you've understood their perspective. For example, “Got it. So it sounds like the situation was _____. Did I get that right?” Step forward to explore how you can apply their feedback in the future. For example, “Okay, so based on your feedback, I think I can do _____ moving forward. How does that sound?” Or “I'm struggling to come up with ways to apply this feedback. Can we think of some solutions together? My concern is _____. What do you think?” For best results, include (genuine) Validation statements in your reply. For example: "Thanks for talking to me about this," "I can see why you’d feel that way," and "I’m eager to figure out a fix." These small signals help reduce your feedback giver’s anxiety and make them more willing to share feedback in the future.
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For best results, include (genuine) Validation statements in your reply. For example: "Thanks for talking to me about this," "I can see why you’d feel that way," and "I’m eager to figure out a fix." These small signals help reduce your feedback giver’s anxiety and make them more willing to share feedback in the future.
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1. Offer More Praise Than Criticism
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Great managers and teams constantly Pause to point out what they see others doing well. Not only does this kind of recognition lead to more engagement, but it also builds confidence and helps people strengthen their strengths.
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Plus, research shows that employees who aren't satisfied with how often they receive praise at work are 300% more likely to say they'll quit in the following year (Robison 2006).
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2. Pull for Feedback Often
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pull for feedback rather than waiting for it to be “pushed” to you. This pulling habit functions as an important signal-setting action. It's a cue for your team that this is a place where feedback is valued and expected all around. What's more, research shows that leaders who ask for critical feedback are perceived as more effective (Ashford and Tsui 2017).
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When we asked the great managers we studied to share their feedback pulling secrets with us, we collected the following tips: Be specific. When you say, “Got any feedback?” most people draw a blank or feel too intimidated to be honest. Make it easier for them by Deblurring your request. For example, “Would you share feedback with me on how our one-on-one meetings are going?” Linkup. Explain why you're looking for feedback so people are motivated to share. For example, “So that I can keep improving our new hire experience, would you share what you think went well with your onboarding and what could have been better?” Keep it small. Some people will worry about giving their manager feedback no matter how sincere you are. Make the request smaller by using something we call the “10% question”: “What's one thing I can improve about _____ by 10%?” Follow up. After you've implemented the feedback, let the feedback giver know about the positive impact it had. This inspires people to give you feedback more often, and shows how valuable feedback can be.
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- [note::Reducing the scope of questions yields better answers - this applies to feedback too!]

The last part of the feedback culture equation is creating feedback touchpoints. A touchpoint acts as a helpful Pause point and nudge to catalyze feedback conversations even when you're not around.
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Schedule retros: Retro, retrospective, post-mortem, debrief, after-action review – these sessions go by many names, but they are all fundamentally the same process of Extracting the learning from the past to apply it in the future. Some common retro questions include “What went well?” “What didn't go well?” “What can we do differently next time?”
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Make public praise easy: Make it simple and fun for your team to Pause and share praise with one another. Create a visual space (physically or digitally) to recognize one another's efforts and achievements, share gratitude, and pass on kudos from internal and external users. Praise is helpful, feels great, and helps create a positive association with feedback.
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What are the top four productivity challenges? We'll list each one along with their most common symptoms. See if you recognize yourself or any of your team members within this list: Productivity Challenge Symptoms 1. Time awareness: knowing where time is going, how much time something will take, and how to communicate time to others Chronic lateness, missed deadlines, meetings starting late or running too long 2. Prioritization: identifying the most important thing in a sea of important things Being too busy, overperfecting work, spending time on work that should be delegated to others 3. Organization: having an efficient system for getting things done Missed commitments, worrying about things slipping through the cracks, searching for notes or to-do items 4. Focus: stay on task without interruptions Frequent context switching, getting distracted, rarely feeling a sense of flow
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It could be tempting for Mia to simply recommend her favorite productivity tool (we bet you have one of those too), but the crucial first move is picking just one productivity challenge to tackle. It doesn't have to be the perfect place to start, but it should be one that will provide a meaningful sense of progress and the fuel to keep improving. Once you've used Q-steps and Playbacks to Deblur the primary challenge (time awareness, prioritization, organization, or focus), offer a productivity tool or framework that best matches the need. Let's examine the most effective tools for each challenge area. Again, you might be tempted to use or advertise them all at once, but keep in mind that a one-at-a-time approach results in more productivity faster.
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Time Awareness Tool #1: Use Time Language
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Did you catch them all? In one short exchange, the team managed to say: “quick question, “ASAP,” “some point this week,” and “two seconds.” These time blur words are common, and represent a loose relationship with time. By contrast, the team on the right uses precise time language. Research shows that simply talking about time increases time awareness and improves performance (Janicik and Bartel 2003).
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To adopt a time language norm, you can share your explicit commitment to time integrity or simply start Deblurring time. For example, when someone asks you if you have “one moment,” you can say, “I have five minutes right now or we can discuss it in our one-on-one. Which do you prefer?” If someone asks for a favor, promising that “it will take you no time at all,” you can gently bring time awareness into the conversation by saying, “I want to make sure I can follow through if I say yes. Can I ask some questions to make sure I have enough time to help?”
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Time Awareness Tool #2: Start and Stop Meetings on Time
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Below are some of our favorite solutions: Start on time, even if few participants are present. Ask people to assign time estimates to each agenda item. Designate a timekeeper and/or use an audible timer to keep everyone on track. Put a clock in the room or add a countdown on the digital screen. Lock the door (physically or digitally) once the meeting starts, making it impossible for late participants to join. We learned this approach from an executive team that struggled with lateness – leading to many expensive wasted minutes spent waiting.
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Time Awareness Tool #3: Suggest Doing a Time Audit
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We recommend encouraging your team members to see where their time goes for at least one week, Pausing briefly to track activities in 30-minute intervals either at the end of every day or several times a day. We do not recommend using time audits as a micromanaging tool – having each person report exactly how they are using their time. Instead, offer it up as a tool to use alone or share with you and the team as a way to optimize time use together.
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Bonus: Download a time audit template at leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.
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One significant insight many people have when they complete a time audit is that not all hours of the day are created equal. For example, research shows that some people have a productivity spike in the morning and some tend to do their best creative work in the evening (Pope 2016; Wieth and Zacks 2011). Armed with time audit data, you can help people rearrange how they spend their day, moving their toughest or highest-priority work to their brains’ best windows of time, finding ways to improve efficiency, and no longer ending the week “time broke.”
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Left unchecked, your team members move from one task to the next, doing the easiest things, the things someone asked them to do, or simply the things right in front of them. Especially as stress increases, prioritization effectiveness declines. In one study of 43,000 encounters of doctors and patients, researchers found that when the workload was heaviest, physicians prioritized their easiest cases, leaving the most severe cases to wait the longest – a tendency known as “completion bias” (Gino and Staats 2016). Among all professions, it can be easy to get sucked into an endless stream of activities that feel like progress but that leave tomorrow looking much like yesterday.
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Prioritization Tool #1: Ask About MITs
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The first prioritization tool we'll share is the easiest to implement and will improve your team members’ productivity the fastest: ask them to name their Most Important Things, MITs. You can Q-step about MITs as a coaching question in your one-on-ones, start daily team meetings with an MIT review, or use MITs as a tool to align on priorities with your team, manager, and other leaders across the organization (or Extract lessons about why you’re misaligned).
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After all, the essence of prioritization is having a much shorter to-do list than a to-not-do list. In fact, the word “decide” comes from the Latin decidere, meaning “to cut off.” To prioritize well, we must be willing to cut off what we won't do to focus on what we will do.
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Prioritization Tool #2: Use the Quadrant Method
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Prioritization Tool #3: Use the Bucket Method
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Once you've helped your team members draw their buckets, get more out of this productivity tool faster by Q-steps with the following coaching questions and Playing back their replies: “What are your buckets for this quarter? What made you choose these?” “How do you define success for each one?” “What percentage of your time has been going to each bucket?” “What else have you been doing other than work in these three buckets? Does it make sense to adjust your buckets or find ways to reduce or eliminate the other activities?” “How can you push back on requests so it's possible to stick to your priorities?” Often, the biggest source of help you can provide as a manager is to encourage your team members to say “no” to items that are not their MITs,
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Organization Tool #1: Encourage a Consistent Capture System
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If you've ever found yourself tossing and turning in bed, hoping you'll remember to send that email or realizing you forgot an upcoming birthday, you've been the victim of a phenomenon known as the Zeigarnik effect. Psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik realized that people's minds tend to hold onto information and keep rehearsing it when a task is left unfinished (Zeigarnik 1938). This effect can be used for good. For example, the author Ernest Hemingway is said to have ended every writing day in the middle of a sentence so that his unconscious mind would keep working on the story. But the Zeigarnik effect contributes to stress, distractions, lost time, and cognitive lag when those open loops consist of information that can simply be recorded outside of one's mind (Masicampo and Baumeister 2011).
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Encourage your team members to create a Consistent Capture System (CCS), a concept inspired by author David Allen. A CCS is a reliable, go-to spot to record information instead of storing it in memory. The most important CCS types capture: To-do items Appointments and deadlines Notes (including key points, ideas, and instructions)
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- [note::Not having a Closed Capture System (CCS) or a CCS you can't trust introduces "open loops", which your mind chews on in the background.]

Organization Tool #2: Create a Closed Loop Culture
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Once you and your team have a CCS in place, the next move to becoming organized faster is to create what we call a Closed Loop Culture. A Closed Loop Culture is a teamwide norm of noticing and helping to close open loops.
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To kick-start this norm on your team, model Pausing to ask Deblurring questions like, “who, what, when” questions, Play back what you hear, and use a shared CCS to capture the commitments people have made. Invite your team members to Extract open loops, ask open loop questions, Play back what they hear, and capture commitments.
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- [note::Identify open loops by soliciting insight from team members and close them by establishing "who, what, and when"]

Focus Tool #1: Co-create If-Thens
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One lightweight solution to reduce internal and external distractions is to anticipate them in advance and create implementation intentions for how to handle them, or simply if-thens. Here's how if-thens work: designate any familiar cue in your environment as your “if,” and use it to prompt any desired “then” behavior that will help you stay on track. Instead of deciding in that moment how to handle a distraction, use your preprogrammed if-then to guide your actions.
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Focus Tool #2: Work in Pomodoros
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Focus Tool #3: Use the Kanban System
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Accountability via progress reporting: Beyond mere exposure, meeting frequently creates a culture of accountability. The one-on-one becomes a checkpoint to celebrate progress and overcome obstacles. Not only does this practice increase productivity, but it also drives engagement. Research shows that when employees believe their manager doesn't hold them accountable, a whopping 69% are actively disengaged and only 3% report being engaged (Mann and Darby 2014).
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- [note::The degree to which employees are held accountable has a significant influence on their level of engagement - that probably explains why I'm so disengaged at FORT!]

So how can you use one-on-ones to monitor and help increase each team member's engagement? First, let's touch on what not to do. In our research, we saw that average managers turned their one-on-one conversations into status updates and “quick questions” that could have been handled more efficiently via email, spreadsheets, team meetings, or a Kanban board (see Chapter 10). Instead, great managers look at every one-on-one through the lens of the biggest drivers of engagement.
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What drives engagement? Based on years of research kickstarted by psychologists Richard Ryan and Edward Deci, we know that when five specific “brain cravings” are satisfied, the result is engagement. ... What are they? ... To help you easily remember these brain cravings in the midst of each one-on-one, we bring you the LifeLabs Learning CAMPS Model: Certainty Autonomy Meaning Progress Social inclusion To embed this framework into your memory, think about your team's engagement falling into one of two CAMPS: engaged versus disengaged.
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Aside from the psychological burden of having too many unknowns, uncertainty can also cause logistical bottlenecks. When employees don't know what's expected of them, what to prioritize, or how success is defined, they waste countless hours searching for answers, making poor decisions, or just waiting around until someone comes along with the information.
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- [note::This underscores the importance of information flow and cross-functional alignment within an organization]

Here are a few of our favorite certainty-building tactics: Consistency: Schedule your one-on-ones to be the same time and day of the week every week. Avoid canceling. While it might seem like the right thing to do during a week full of Quadrant 1 action (see Chapter 10), a canceled one-on-one sends a signal to your team members that their time and needs aren't important. Template: Co-create a conversation template (see the sample at the end of this chapter) and ask your team members to come to each one-on-one meeting with the agenda filled out. In this way, they'll know what to discuss, and you'll make the best use of time. Ritual: Build in an element of ritual into the one-one-one as an opportunity to Pause together. For example, many of the managers we studied had a start and/or stop ritual in their one-on-ones, like Extracting the learning from the prior week in the first five minutes or ending with a “stretch question” to bring the conversation in a new direction each time. Creating certainty doesn't mean eliminating variety.
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How to Diagnose and Increase Certainty Through Your One-on-One Conversations
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There were at least five areas of uncertainty here that are also the most common in the workplace: Goals Roles Priorities Resources Overall job security Your one-on-ones are an excellent time to fill these certainty gaps whenever you notice them. If you believe that your team members already have the information they need, coach them to figure things out on their own. These uncertainty signals can also be your cue to either Deblur or provide more information (tell versus ask).
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Below are just a few certainty-related coaching questions you can ask in your one-on-ones. For even greater shared certainty, Play back what you hear: Sample Certainty Questions On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much certainty you have at work? What does success look like to you? What do you wish you felt more secure or clear about at work? What resources or information are missing or hard to access? Let's make sure we're aligned. What do you see as your top priorities? Where might it help you to have more routines or rituals? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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Sample Certainty Questions
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On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much certainty you have at work? What does success look like to you? What do you wish you felt more secure or clear about at work? What resources or information are missing or hard to access? Let's make sure we're aligned. What do you see as your top priorities? Where might it help you to have more routines or rituals? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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The job of a manager is not to hunt down and eradicate all unknowns. Instead, the goal is to help shine a light on the gaps, then work together to close as many of those gaps as feasible. Even in the absence of certain answers, you can provide certainty of communication. For example, during the chaos of the 2020 pandemic and recession, some of the best leaders we studied created a predictable cadence of updates, sharing company news even if the news was “there is no news.”
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It turns out that autonomy is a buffer for stress. When you have the right amount of choice and control, negative stress turns to eustress – that buzzy, feel-good sensation you get when you are enjoying a challenge. It's also true that when you have too much autonomy, uncertainty and anxiety kick in. So, the goal is balance.
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How to Add Autonomy to Your One-on-One Structure
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Ownership: Deblur the ownership of these meetings. Clarify that one-on-ones are your team members’ meetings (not yours). For example, “These one-on-ones are here for you to get the support you need. So please add what's most helpful to you onto the agenda.” When you notice them starting to add their own items to the agenda, Validate their efforts by sharing feedback and encouragement.
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Choice: Ask each team member to decide when and where you'll meet. Encourage them to pick a time they find most convenient and brain-friendly. If you have location options, give them their choice of office, cafe, park, video platform, and so on.
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How to Diagnose and Increase Autonomy Satisfaction in Your One-on-Ones
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You can spot too much autonomy in the same ways as too much uncertainty. Team members drowning in autonomy will come across as worried, cautious, and indecisive. In these cases, your job is to coach and provide missing information. When in doubt, Q-step with, “How can I be most helpful: would you rather get advice or would it be useful if I asked questions to help think through this?”
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Kofi is showing two tell-tale signs of having too little autonomy. Did you notice them? The most common sign is a lack of follow-through. Someone might agree to do something, then drop the ball. Sometimes this happens on purpose, and sometimes it's simply the result of forgetting information that doesn't interest us. The other common sign of too little autonomy is what can be described as disengaged compliance. It's a “yeah, whatever” approach that people sometimes adopt as a coping mechanism. In this state, people follow instructions, but they put in little or no personal care, effort, or creativity.
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- [note::Symptoms of having too little autonomy]

Mia: I think creating a shared doc is the best next step. Do you see it that way too? Kofi: Yeah, I can do it your way if that's what everyone wants. Mia: Hey, Kofi, can we actually pause for a moment? I might be wrong here, but it seems like you disagree with this approach but feel like you have to do it anyway. Is that right? Kofi: I mean … I already shared my concerns several times, and everyone just talks over each other. There's no point in continuing to bring it up. I'll just do what you all decided. I'm too new here to make a fuss, anyway. You all have your way of doing things. Mia: That must be frustrating. I want you to have a say. We're all one team now, and we wanted you to join because we all thought we could benefit from your perspective. I'm curious, is it just this project or are there also other areas at work where you don't have a good amount of autonomy? Kofi: Well … to be honest, this project is minor. I don't think it would bother me, but what's been frustrating lately is that there are so many rules in place. I guess I was just hoping to be on a team where we can trust each other to make judgment calls. Since I'm exceeding my targets now, I was hoping to have more creative freedom.
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- [note::Beautiful use of a pause to make a hypothesis about what's bothering the employee]

How can you give people more voice? Pull for feedback and input early and often. This can be a formal process or as simple as saying, “I'm planning to do this thing. Can I hear your thoughts on it before I make a final decision?” If you don't end up applying the ideas people contribute, Link up to explain the reasoning. You can also hold ritualized retrospectives to Extract learning together and generate ideas for how to apply lessons from the past in the future.
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How can you give people choice? Offer options in tasks, projects, and responsibilities whenever it's possible to do so. You can also offer autonomy around how to do the work. Coaching (see Chapter 8) is an excellent autonomy tool because it helps people come to their own conclusions about how to solve a problem, even if that problem was assigned to them. It is also ideal to invite people to set their own goals or at least to develop them collaboratively. Research shows that employees whose managers help them set their own performance goals are 170% more likely to be engaged (Mann and Darby 2014).
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In instances where little or no autonomy is possible in the work itself, get creative with “peripheral autonomy” you might offer options such as where and when to do the work. One manager we studied supervised a motorcycle manufacturing process with little room for creative freedom (there are only so many ways to correctly assemble a motorcycle). To create a sense of choice, he made a point of letting people pick music to play through the factory speakers, plan team celebrations, co-create meeting agendas, and choose their shifts.
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Whenever you notice signs of too much or too little autonomy, use your one-on-ones to investigate the cause. Following are sample questions you can ask: Sample Autonomy Questions On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much autonomy you have at work? Where do you wish you had more (or less) choice? How happy are you with how often you are in charge of your work? What are areas in which you wish you had either more freedom or more direction? Do you feel a bit micromanaged in any areas? What do you think is causing it? What are some areas where you'd like your voice to be heard more? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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Sample Autonomy Questions
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On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much autonomy you have at work? Where do you wish you had more (or less) choice? How happy are you with how often you are in charge of your work? What are areas in which you wish you had either more freedom or more direction? Do you feel a bit micromanaged in any areas? What do you think is causing it? What are some areas where you'd like your voice to be heard more? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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How to Add Meaning to Your One-on-One Structure
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Purpose: A simple way to make your one-on-ones more meaningful is to Link up to why one-on-ones matter in the first place. This is a great practice when you are new to working together or if you've never set expectations about the purpose of these meetings. For example, “These one-on-ones are your time to bring up anything that will help you be even more engaged and productive and to keep investing in your growth.”
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Focus: You can also Link up to the purpose of one-on-ones whenever you notice the focus of your conversations turning into status updates or information sessions. Suggest using a different forum for these topics or time-boxing them so there is space left over to make progress on their challenges, goals, and personal development.
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How to Diagnose and Increase Meaning in Your One-on-Ones
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A common sign of meaninglessness at work is burnout: fatigue, alienation from others, cynicism, mistakes, and absenteeism. Though most people associate burnout with the exhaustion that creeps in when they are overworked, one of the biggest predictors of burnout is actually a loss of meaning.
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Use your one-on-ones to create a stronger Linkup to the things that matter to each person on your team. Ask about their values, what energizes them, and what results they find most meaningful. Any signs of excitement and fulfillment are great opportunities to learn by Q-stepping with questions like “What was important to you about that?” “What was the best part?” or “What was it about this situation that felt so good?” and Playing back the key points. Then, whenever you give feedback and progress updates, Link up to the things each person finds meaningful by sharing a personalized impact statement (from Chapter 9). You can deliver feedback directly from your perspective, pass on praise from others, and – when possible – give people direct access to observe the impact they're making. As a manager, finding creative ways to show people their impact is a terrific use of your time.
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The impact is substantial. For example, radiologists who saw photos of their patients improved the accuracy of their diagnoses by 46% (Turner and Hadas-Halpern 2008). And call center employees who heard a five-minute talk by a student benefiting from a scholarship they helped raise funds for increased the amount of money they raised by 171% (Grant et al. 2007).
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- [note::There are tremendous benefits from linking up your employees' to what is personally meaningful to them.]

If you detect early signs of burnout or disengagement, or if you haven't checked in on meaning in a while, here are some of our favorite questions to ask in one-on-ones: Sample Meaning Questions On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much meaning you have at work? What matters to you about ____? What's a recent contribution you are proud of? Where would you like to make more of an impact? How satisfied are you with how much recognition you get for your work? What are you looking forward to? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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Sample Meaning Questions
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On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much meaning you have at work? What matters to you about ____? What's a recent contribution you are proud of? Where would you like to make more of an impact? How satisfied are you with how much recognition you get for your work? What are you looking forward to? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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consider the research already conducted by Teresa Amabile and her team (2011), where they asked participants to do just that. Employees tracked all their activities and rated how satisfied they were each day. What differentiated the good days from the bad ones and the meh ones? In 76% of all good days, people mentioned experiencing a sense of progress. The most surprising finding from this research was that small, steady bursts of progress beat out big but infrequent wins. When it comes to engagement, it's not the major wins that matter most but a sense of steady achievement.
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- [note::Steady progress improves engagement more than big wins - how can I better communicate project progress to the teams I oversee and praise them for it?]

How to Add Progress to Your One-on-One Structure
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Goals: Turn your one-on-one agenda into a dopamine doc. Either link to a CCS or use the one-on-one document to track goals and mark each one when it is accomplished. This practice lets you Deblur goals, creates accountability, and doubles as a development tracker you can review together to celebrate how far each person has come.
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Small wins: Start each one-on-one by asking each person to call out what went well. This ritual also creates a sense of certainty. Plus, learning why each win matters shows you what gives each person a sense of meaning. But even more than that, regularly Pausing to demarcate wins gives your team more bang for each progress buck they earn. When they know they'll be sharing wins weekly, they'll keep an eye out for them – getting that dopamine hit when wins happen and again in the one-on-one conversation.
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Individual development: Add a prompt to your one-on-one template to check in on individual development. This can serve as an opportunity to give feedback and a nudge to stay on track with building a new skill or knowledge area (more on this in Chapter 15).
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How to Diagnose and Increase Progress in Your One-on-Ones
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One of the most deceptive symptoms of low dopamine is chronic busyness. When your team members are pulled in multiple directions, have unclear priorities, or don't build in time to Pause and Extract their learnings, they end each week feeling less accomplished than when they started. This is a frustrating and demoralizing trap that's important to help your team members avoid.
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When people are procrastinating, a great progress-building practice is task-boxing. Procrastination is almost always a cue that someone isn't clear about all of the work involved in an assignment. Task-boxing means articulating, Deblurring, and visualizing each component of a task. For example, you might say: “Let's work backwards. Write out all the parts of the project starting with the end. What is the last part? What milestone would you have to hit before that? How about before that? What's the smallest step you can take to get started?”
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In the meanwhile, here are some simple but powerful questions you can ask in your one-on-ones to get the progress party started: Sample Progress Questions On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much progress you make at work? Where do you wish you felt more progress? What (or who) is blocking you or getting in your way of making progress? How often do you get a sense of uninterrupted flow at work? How satisfied are you with your sense of growth and learning? What were your wins this past week, and what learning can you Extract from them? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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Sample Progress Questions
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On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with how much progress you make at work? Where do you wish you felt more progress? What (or who) is blocking you or getting in your way of making progress? How often do you get a sense of uninterrupted flow at work? How satisfied are you with your sense of growth and learning? What were your wins this past week, and what learning can you Extract from them? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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It turns out our neural pathways for the pain of exclusion map onto the neural pathways for physical pain. Research shows that being excluded is so similar to being physically hurt that taking Tylenol can actually reduce emotional pain (Dewall et al. 2010). In short: being left out hurts. That sting of being underappreciated, left out, or – worst of all – forgotten cuts straight to the core, immediately reducing engagement and productivity.
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But there's more to the social inclusion story than just being invited. While we all harbor the need to belong, we also need to retain our sense of individuality. That balance of being one of the group while still distinct from the group is a concept named Optimal Distinctiveness by psychologist Marilynn Brewer (1991). Achieving this ideal point pays off. For example, in a study of a large call center, researchers found that employees who received sweatshirts with the company logo and their name along with an opportunity to share their “best selves” had 250% lower attrition rates than employees who received swag with only the company name and onboarding focused only on the company (Cable, Gino, and Staats 2013). Great managers are always on the lookout for how to help each member of their team achieve that Optimal Distinctiveness balance.
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How to Build Social Inclusion Through Your One-on-One Structure
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Small talk: We have been advocating for a structured one-on-one format throughout this chapter, and yet we also encourage space in every conversation for what linguists call “phatic communication” – unstructured interactions that signal care and interest. At LifeLabs Learning, we refer to this habit as “checking in before checking on.” Most people refer to this type of communication as small talk, but there is nothing small about it. More small talk leads to more trust and greater team cohesion (Coupland 2003). Research also shows that meetings that begin with small talk are more effective (Allen, Lehmann-Willenbrock, and Landowski 2014).
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Body language: Aside from the words you exchange in each one-on-one, pay close attention to your nonverbal communication. For example, turn toward the person you're meeting with, lean in, and uncross your arms to signal interest. Even when meeting virtually, body language can speak volumes. Encourage having cameras on, and set up your screen so that it is at your eye level rather than towering over someone (also known as the giant nostril frame), staring up at them, or looking to the side.
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How to Diagnose and Increase Social Inclusion in Your One-on-Ones
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But simplest of all, you can Q-step. For example, “How satisfied are you with your relationships at work?” “Who are you closest with at work?” and “Do you feel like you can be your real self at work?”
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- [note::Questions for assessing an employee's level of social isolation/inclusion]

Aside from team transitions, another good prompt to focus on social inclusion is whenever there is conflict or tension on the team. Use your one-on-ones as an opportunity to Validate people’s concerns by acknowledging and normalizing how difficult conflict can be, help them clarify their thinking (using Playbacks, Split-tracks, and Deblurring questions) and come up with ways to address the issue. Help people articulate their needs and invite them to practice giving feedback (see Chapter 9). When you empower your team members to resolve conflict on their own, you will strengthen team cohesion and give people skills and confidence to address problems when they arise.
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use your one-on-one time as an opportunity to build a genuine relationship. Ask questions about people's values and interests, do Playbacks to show you’re really listening, and be willing to share your own. Put in the effort to remember the names of people's family members, significant others, and pets. When people mention something that is important to them, remember it, and follow up about it.
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To kick-start a Social inclusion check-in in your next one-on-one, pick one of these questions: Sample Social Inclusion Questions On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with your sense of social inclusion at work? How satisfied are you with how often you collaborate with others? How satisfied are you with your sense of belonging on the team? Where would you like to be more (or less) included? How much of your real self do you get to bring to work? Who do you turn to for help? Who else might be a good resource? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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Sample Social Inclusion Questions
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On a scale of 1–10, how satisfied are you with your sense of social inclusion at work? How satisfied are you with how often you collaborate with others? How satisfied are you with your sense of belonging on the team? Where would you like to be more (or less) included? How much of your real self do you get to bring to work? Who do you turn to for help? Who else might be a good resource? (For each question, you can follow up with: What would increase your score by one point?)
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If you haven't already, invite each member of your team to co-create an agenda template that gives them and you ongoing opportunities to track and feed each of the CAMPS brain cravings.
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Tell your team about the CAMPS framework to have shared vocabulary.
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Goals this quarter Current results Projected results                   DATE: ____________ WINS: What went well or was a highlight this week? PRIORITIES ALIGNMENT CHECK: My MITs for this week are: MY CAMPS SCORE (1-10): Fill it in and flag it if there's something you'd like to discuss! Certainty ____ Autonomy ____ Meaning ____ Progress ____ Social inclusion ____ ROADBLOCKS OR CONCERNS: A place I'm stuck or need input is: DELIBERATE DEVELOPMENT: Individual Development Skill or knowledge area I am working on: Action I took last week to build this skill/knowledge area: Action I will take this week: Feedback What my manager thinks I did well or could improve: What I think my manager did well or could improve: STRETCH QUESTION: Your manager will ask you a different question each time!
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Bonus: For videos of effective one-on-ones, a downloadable agenda template, and our favorite one-on-one stretch questions, visit leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.
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Similarly, a study of 10,000 senior executives found that they chose strategic thinking as the most important driver of business success 97% of the time, and an assessment of 60,000 managers across over 140 countries revealed that a strategic approach was seen as 1,000% more important to perception of effectiveness than any other behavior (Kabacoff 2014).
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Below is a side-by-side comparison of the average managers versus great managers we studied: AVERAGE MANAGER BEHAVIORS GREAT MANAGER BEHAVIORS Solve today's problems Also prevent future problems Wait to be told what to do Propose new ideas Act on their first idea Compare many different ideas Get their work done Also improve how work gets done Consider the consequences of their actions Also consider the unintended consequences React to a problem based on what they see Pause to consider what they might not yet see Make decisions based on their perspective Invite and integrate multiple perspectives Delegate tasks to their team Articulate what the goals are and why
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Drawing on these and similar examples we came across in our research, we noticed two commonalities that characterize the strategic thinking superstars: They keep the future in mind when taking action in the present. They consider the complexities of any situation.
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1. Gap Analysis
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We call this essential strategic thinking habit doing a gap analysis. Great managers are constantly measuring gaps and instill this gap-tracking habit on their teams.
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Great managers tend to measure gaps on two levels: lead indicators and lag indicators. While lag indicators represent your ultimate destination, sometimes these targets are so far in the distance that you need earlier lead indicators to show you if you're on the right track before it's too late to adjust. Here are some examples: SAMPLE LEAD INDICATOR (EARLY SIGN) LAG INDICATOR (ULTIMATE GOAL) Midterm exam grade Final semester grade Pop quiz grade Midterm exam grade Number of prospects per quarter Revenue at the end of the year Post-call client satisfaction score Number of client referrals Quarterly engagement survey score Annual employee retention
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To make gap analysis a habit, train your brain to notice when the goal and/or the current state are unclear. Q-step with: “What is the gap between where we are now and where we want to go?” and “How can we make it measurable?” Play back what you hear in reply to help people clarify their thinking.
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Aside from ensuring alignment, the Linkup habit helps you pressure-test people's thinking by asking, “Is this the best way to achieve this goal?” For example, perhaps a more efficient way to give the team a sense of meaning is to invite them to attend client meetings. A better way to improve the sales close rate might be to offer free consultations. Pausing to Linkup might seem like it slows things down, but it prevents us from going fast in the wrong direction. Besides, even a very short Linkup Pause
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Instead, great managers clarify which goal is the highest priority and create a different Linkup map for each one. If you find that rare gem of a solution that achieves multiple goals, go for it. If not, select the best solution to achieve your most important goal.
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- [note::Solutions that link up to more than one goal are not often not the best solutions for achieveing either goal]

By contrast, great managers resolve interpersonal problems faster by looking at them through multiple lenses. We call this strategic thinking habit the 3 Lenses Model. To adopt this habit, look at any person-related problem through three lenses, and help your team members do it too: Source: LifeLabs Learning. Lens #1: Personal. Ask: “How are they contributing to the situation?” For example, does this person lack the skill or will necessary to achieve this goal? Lens #2: Interpersonal. Ask: “How am I contributing to the situation?” For example, have I failed to set clear expectations or model and reinforce the desired behavior? Lens #3: Organizational. Ask: “How is our team and/or company contributing to the situation?” For example, are there resource constraints or problematic org-wide norms? Without a quick 3 Lenses analysis, you can easily miss the complexities of a situation and overlook creative solutions.
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- [note::When performance/behavioral issues arise with employees, ask questions that identify potential problems with the person(s), with you, and with the organization]

To get in the habit of using the 3 Lenses Model, as soon as you detect interpersonal tension, Pause and Q-step with: “What are the different factors that might be contributing to this situation?” Be sure to Play back what you hear to help folks clarify their thoughts.
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Human brains easily fall victim to the confirmation bias – a tendency to search for evidence supporting one's perspective while ignoring contradictory evidence. When people are excited about a solution, it's difficult for them to see any information that disconfirms their beliefs. Great managers know this and nudge themselves and others to anticipate what might go wrong.
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- [note::As a manager, your job is to promote consequence-first, not necessarily solution-first thinking.]

As we mentioned in Chapter 7, another great tool to anticipate unintended consequences is the pre-mortem. Unlike a post-mortem, which helps people Extract lessons after a problem occurs, a pre-mortem starts with the premise that something will go wrong, before it actually does. To run a pre-mortem, invite impacted stakeholders to imagine that a project or decision was a failure, then ask: “What caused things to go wrong?” and “What can we do today to prevent these problems in the future?” Research shows that the practice of “prospective hindsight” increases ability to identify unintended consequences by 30% (Mitchell, Russo, and Pennington 1989).
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To get in the habit of doing UC Checks, ask yourself and others the following questions before making a decision or introducing a change: “What might be the unintended consequences?” “What might the risks be?” “Who might be negatively impacted?” “How might we mitigate the UC?”
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Of all the strategic errors we've discussed so far, research shows that one is worse than all the rest: not including the right people at the right times (Neilson, Martin, and Powers 2008).
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- [note::Using a spreadsheet, break project up into phases and identify the best people to be involved for each phase.]

To determine who you should involve at each phase and develop an inclusive planning habit, ask yourself and others these questions: “Who will be impacted by this?” “Who will have to execute on the plan?” “Who might be a vocal advocate or detractor?” “Who might have relevant insider scoop or expertise?” “Whose perspective might we be overlooking?”
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So what does it take to start well? Based on our observations of what great managers do differently (adapted from Whetten & Cameron, 1991), we refer to the formula for great meeting kickoffs as the 4P Opener. When starting a meeting, great managers share these four components: Purpose: Why the meeting is happening. Example: “The purpose of this meeting is to [update, explore, decide, etc.]” This first P Links up to the goal of the meeting, ensuring it is a strategic use of time. ... Product: What the group will have at the end of the meeting that didn't exist at the start. Example: “We will leave here with [five ideas, a decision, a list of next steps, etc.]” While Purpose provides a broad focus area, the next P – Product – creates a mental progress bar in everyone's minds toward the ultimate result of this specific meeting. The more tangible the Product, the more likely people will be to hold each other and themselves accountable for staying on topic. ... Personal benefit: The reason meeting participants will feel motivated to contribute. Example: “This will help you/us [save time, feel aligned, make an impact, etc.]” A Personal benefit statement ignites people's sense of meaning – another necessary ingredient for engagement that we introduced in Chapter 11 (the M in CAMPS). The Personal benefit statement should spark motivation to achieve the Product. Without an explicit Personal benefit, it can be easy for people to “check out” and become passive bystanders. ... Process: How will we structure the conversation? Example: “We'll spend the first half on agenda point X, and the second half on point Y.” The final P – Process – outlines how the group will achieve the Product. Ideally, this takes the form of an agenda shared in advance of the meeting and again at the beginning.
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Sample Meeting Agenda
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Meeting 4Ps: Purpose: Help our Facilities Team select a new office location Product: A list of our top five office recommendations Personal benefit: Move into an office we're excited to come to every day! Process: See agenda below. Meeting norms: share the floor; help get all voices into the conversation; stay present; no multitasking; off-topic points go in the parking lot Share one thing you like about our current office [30 seconds each, 3 minutes total] Review the list of office options in silence and jot down your questions [5 minutes] Discuss office questions [15 minutes] Vote on our top office picks to get the list down to five [2 minutes]
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Hey, everyone. As you know, we’ve decided to create client categories so we can better prioritize how we spend our time. So, the purpose of this meeting is to gather your ideas on criteria we should use to create these categories. By the end of the meeting, I'd like to have a list of at least 20 possible factors to consider. Then we can meet on Monday to narrow the list. Having these categories will make all of our lives easier since we'll have clear client service priorities and guidelines. The process I'd like to follow today is to silently jot down our ideas, share out loud, then open the floor to build on each other's ideas. Kofi will be the notetaker and Luca will be the timekeeper to keep us on track. How does that sound?
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- [note::Great example on how to open a meeting]

Selecting the right meeting tools starts with understanding the Purpose of your meeting or meeting segment. The most common meeting purposes are: Inform: share information, news, thoughts, and/or feelings; answer questions Explore: ask questions; generate ideas; spark insights Narrow: debate; prioritize; vote; decide; determine a plan of action
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“Inform” Meeting Tool #1: Q-Storm
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One of the more fruitful uses of Inform meetings is Q&A (Question and Answer) meetings or meeting segments. These are gatherings that give your meeting participants a chance to Q-step on a specific topic or, in the case of “AMAs” (Ask Me Anything sessions), questions about any topic at all. To help everyone get the best use of this time, provide information in advance so people have a chance to process it on their own. Then invite participants to do a q-storm, which is the question version of a brainstorm, where everyone generates interesting Q-step ideas together. Here's how it all comes together: Designate a document or a tool where everyone can submit their questions. Before the Q&A or AMA, ask everyone to vote on the most important questions. Prepare your answers in advance so you can present information that is Deblurred and Links up to goals and personal benefits – but leave room for participants to ask clarifying questions in real time. Answer questions that received the most votes, and let people know how to follow up with you if their question wasn't chosen.
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Research shows that equal conversational turn-taking is a better predictor of team performance than even collective team member IQ (Woolley et al. 2010). So when you do round-robins, be sure to give everyone equal speaking time – unless someone on your team tells you they have a speech difference that requires more time. Pro-tip: use an audible timer so people can self-monitor their talking time or a video call plug-in that shows participants how long each person has been speaking.
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Here are some of the most common round-robin prompts we've seen great managers use in their team huddles: “What is one win, frustration, or learning Extraction from the past week/yesterday?” “What did you accomplish yesterday?” “What are you working on today/what is your MIT?” “What are your roadblocks or obstacles?”
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And since huddles have little interaction other than listening to one another, keep these meetings short and high-energy. The great managers we studied did this in many creative ways from starting and ending with music or a group cheer to holding standing or walking meetings if all team members were able to participate. It turns out standing meetings are generally 34% shorter without sacrificing meeting quality (Bluedorn, Turban, and Love 1999).
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To quote the philosopher Lao Tzu, “Leaders are best when people barely know they exist. When their work is done, their aim fulfilled, people will say, ‘We did it ourselves.’” How do great managers bring this ancient wisdom to life in the modern world? One very simple way to do this within meetings is to regularly rotate roles. While average managers generally lead all their team meetings, the great managers we studied were far more likely to ask team members to take turns leading. Common roles to rotate include: Facilitating Timekeeping Note taking and sending minutes Room setup and breakdown
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While Inform meetings are all about a simple exchange of information, the purpose of Explore meetings is to generate new insights and ideas together. Over the years, these types of meetings have grown in popularity, but sadly, research shows that they are usually less productive than coming up with ideas solo (Rickards 1999). So how can you avoid the common pitfalls of these meetings and harness their power? First, ensure that you are setting aside time for silent, solo ideation as well as group ideation (including dyad and large-group exploration).
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Over the years, these types of meetings have grown in popularity, but sadly, research shows that they are usually less productive than coming up with ideas solo (Rickards 1999). So how can you avoid the common pitfalls of these meetings and harness their power? First, ensure that you are setting aside time for silent, solo ideation as well as group ideation (including dyad and large-group exploration).
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“Explore” Meeting Tool #1: Defer Judgment
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This is exactly what researchers Sidney Parnes and Arnold Meadow (1959) wanted to find out in their now-classic study on creativity. It turns out the people who were told to come up with good ideas did worse than the judgment-free group. In fact, the group that deferred judgment generated twice as many good ideas. Why? The part of the brain responsible for evaluating ideas actually blocks the part of the brain responsible for generating ideas. In short, we can't do both at once well. The great managers we studied actively reminded people to defer judgment, even if they were generating ideas in silence. And when exploring ideas out loud, they pointed out any critiques or even excessive praise that could switch on the group's judgment filters.
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“Explore” Meeting Tool #2: Idea Quotas
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Want an easy shortcut to helping people be less judgy? Assign an idea quota. For example, set a goal of generating 10 ideas in 10 minutes or have teams compete over who will come up with more ideas. Paradoxically, a focus on quantity leads to higher quality.
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“Explore” Meeting Tool #3: Cross-pollinate
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The best managers we studied recognized the power of bringing people with diverse backgrounds and views together. They made their exploration meetings better faster by deliberately cross-pollinating people's perspectives. Just as cross-pollination gives life to brand new varieties of plants, it also gives life to brand new ideas.
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What's more, research shows that groups that have visible diversity (in characteristics such as race, age, and gender) are more curious about one another's perspectives because they assume that people with different identities will think differently, regardless of whether or not they actually do (Phillips, Northcraft, and Neale 2006).
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To become a great cross-pollinator faster, get in the habit of Q-stepping with questions like: “Whose perspective might we be missing?” “Do we have enough diversity of people and perspectives in the room?” “What other people, departments, companies, industries, or even species have solved a similar problem? What can we learn from them?”
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room for the narrowing conversation. Second, research shows that different states of mind are conducive to different types of thinking (Pope 2016; Wieth and Zacks 2011). For most people, novel thinking is easier later in the day when they are tired and less likely to self-censor, and decision-making is most effective in the morning when the brain's serotonin and dopamine levels are higher (Shiv et al. 2005). Much like the writing advice that often goes “Write drunk, edit sober,” when it comes to meetings, you'll want to help your team explore playfully and decide seriously.
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“Narrow” Meeting Tool #1: Deblur the DACI
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Many of the great managers we studied used some kind of decision-making framework with their teams in general and especially during narrowing meetings. One of our favorites is the DACI Model, which stands for: Driver: the person “behind the wheel” of an initiative who is responsible for getting it across the finish line. Just as in a car, there should only be one driver. Approver(s): the person or people who make the final decision. Sometimes the Driver and Approver are the same person. Important: If there are multiple approvers, make the Approval Process explicit: for example, single approver, two approvers and a tiebreaker if needed, consensus (all agree to support the decision), majority vote (51%). Consultants: people who provide input, suggestions, feedback, or execute components of the work. Informed: people who are updated along the way and when the work is done. ... To make an immediate improvement in the quality of your Narrow meetings, Pause to Deblur the DACI and Approval Process from the start or Q-step and Play back to help others articulate the DACI.
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If you've already generated a wide range of ideas, a helpful tool to narrow the list is an Impact/Feasibility Map. Here's how it works: Write each idea the team generated on a separate physical or digital “sticky note.” Combine all the ideas. Remove any duplicates. Plot each idea on the spectrum of Impact (how likely it will be that the idea achieves the desired result) and Feasibility (how realistic it will be to act on this idea given existing constraints – like time, money, and the team's skill level).
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While Impact and Feasibility are the most common criteria, you can also do this exercise with other criteria (like speed versus cost, aesthetics versus functionality, convenience versus environmental impact).
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One of our favorite tools to keep conflict helpful is articulating the pros, cons, and mitigations for each idea. The brilliance of this framework is that, instead of having people debate one another, you turn the team's focus toward the ideas. Here's how it works, one idea at a time: Pros: Going round-robin, each person shares what they see as the idea's pros, strengths, and advantages. Cons: Each person shares what they see as the cons, risks, and disadvantages of the idea. (This is a great time to use the UC Check habit we introduced in the last chapter to consider unintended consequences on the business and on individuals not in the room.) Mitigations Each person proposes mitigation suggestions to amplify the pros and reduce the impact of the cons.
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One of the great managers we interviewed for our research at LifeLabs Learning took this philosophy so seriously that he even insisted that his team members all sat together on the same side of the table, with a whiteboard on the opposite side – illustrating their commitment to debating the issues rather than the individuals.
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- [note::Physical layout of your meeting matters!]

To get good at this subtle meeting art faster, use the following course-correction formula: Behavior observation + impact statement + process suggestion The first two parts of the formula are essentially the B and I of the Q-BIQ Method we shared in Chapter 10. It is a judgment-free and Deblurred description of the behavior happening within the meeting and a Linkup to the impact it's having. Once you Pause to articulate what you see, make a process suggestion to bring the meeting back on track (for example, by recommending one of the tools we've shared in this chapter).
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Here are some common meeting challenges. For each one, practice what you would say to course-correct, including a behavior observation, impact statement, and process suggestion. Compare your answer to the sample course corrections we provide: Meeting Challenge Sample Course Correction There is very little discussion. It seems we're quiet today, which means it's hard to tell if we're aligned. How about we take five minutes to q-storm in silence so we can all gather our thoughts, then share? A few people are doing most of the talking. I'm noticing we're not hearing from everyone, so we're not getting the benefit of different perspectives. Let's go round-robin (and say “pass” if you prefer not to share). People are straying from the topic. Since we only have 10 minutes left and this is our chance to make a decision that impacts all of us, should we go back to the agenda and add the other topic to the parking lot? People are shooting down one another's ideas. It looks like some of us are coming up with ideas and some of us are evaluating them, so we're not making progress. Let's defer judgment for this meeting, then we can look at pros and cons of each idea next week. There is no clear decision maker or process. I'm realizing we don't have a clear process to make this decision, so we're not using our time well. How about we take 10 minutes to align on the DACI?
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- [note::Love the phrasing of these, especially "it seems like some of us are interested in generating ideas and some of us are interested in evaluating them, so we're not making progesss." Make phrases into Anki cards?]

Bonus: For meeting videos and a complete list of meeting course corrections, visit leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.
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Version 2: Do-Over Mia: Hey, everyone. As you know, we're decided to create client categories so we can better prioritize how we spend our time. So, the purpose of this meeting is to gather your ideas on criteria we should use to create these categories. By the end of the meeting, I'd like to have a list of at least 20 possible factors to consider. Then we can meet on Monday to narrow the list. Having these categories will make all of our lives easier since we'll have clear client service priorities and guidelines. The process I'd like to follow today is to silently jot down our ideas, share out loud, then open the floor to build on each other's ideas. Kofi will be the notetaker and Luca will be the timekeeper to keep us on track. How does that sound? Kofi: Sounds good. Olivia: I've been thinking an important factor is how many employees the company has. It's not just about how much they're spending but how much they can spend – Mia: Sorry to interrupt. Looks like you already have ideas, and I want to hear them, but I'd love to give everyone time to gather their thoughts so we’re all able to contribute well. How about we take three minutes now to jot down our thoughts in silence, then jump in to talk? Olivia: Oh, right. Sorry. Got it. [After three minutes have passed] Mia: Okay, now that time's up, let's go round-robin one minute per person. Olivia, want to kick us off? Olivia: Yeah, so I just wrote down employees, industry, and past spend. Your turn, Luca. Luca: Is past spend all that helpful? What if they've used up their entire budget? Kofi: Well, that's not necessarily true. It depends on the timeline that we consider. Mia: Hm, looks like we're starting to debate before getting all our ideas out there, so we might be limiting our options. As a reminder, we'll meet on Monday to analyze the ideas and narrow the list. Today, the goal is to come up with a list of 20 ideas. So, how about we defer judgment today and just try to capture as many ideas as possible? Any ideas are welcome – even weird ones – in case they inspire us to think differently. Luca: Right good point. Okay, so, then my weird idea is to be able to see our client's bank accounts so we can tell how much money they have and use that as criteria. Kofi? Kofi: Actually, that makes me think one criteria could be how much funding the business has received and how recently. That's something we can even find out legally!
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- [note::This meeting transcript is such a great example of how to have a productive meeting even when faced with many common pitfalls]

Intuitively, they deduced a classic change-management model inspired by the writings of organizational psychologist Kurt Lewin (1947): Unfreeze, Change, Refreeze. To take your leading change skills to the next level, start by learning to recognize each phase. We'll get into each one in detail throughout this chapter, but let's start with a brief overview: Unfreeze: “Thaw” people's habits and views so they soften to the possibility of change. Change: Help people learn and apply new behaviors or ways of thinking. Refreeze: “Solidify” into a new shape that represents the new normal.
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A classic leadership mistake we see among average managers is rushing through the Unfreeze Phase or skipping it entirely. This is what happened across Bernardo's company in the example we shared at the start of this chapter. Most managers simply told people to do things differently. To their surprise, many team members pushed back or just kept doing things the old way. One of the things that made Bernardo's approach so unique was that he waited several weeks to roll out the changes. Paradoxically, to make the change stick faster, he Paused to hear his team's perspective and inspired them to try the new approach. Here's how:
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- [note::This feels like it should be incredibly obvious and common knowledge, but this is probably the curse of knowledge at play]

Unfreeze Phase Tool #1: Hold a CAMPS Listening Tour
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Great managers avoid springing change news on impacted stakeholders. They hold CAMPS listening tours by interviewing a diverse range of individuals to hear their thoughts, do Playbacks to show their understanding, and to signal that their perspectives count. This alone begins to “thaw” people's attachment to their current way of doing things. On their listening tour, they make sure to include people who: Will be impacted by the change Will feel strongly about it Might be vocal detractors Might be influential advocates Have to approve the change
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Sample CAMPS listening tour questions: Overall What is your overall reaction to the change? Certainty What feels unclear or uncertain about it? What concerns do you have about it, if any? Autonomy What recommendations do you want us to consider? In which ways, if any, would you like to be involved? Meaning What about this change do you find exciting or important? How might you/your team help make it a success? Progress What can make this change at least 10% easier for you? Have you done any past work we can build on or learn from? Social inclusion Is there anyone else who might be impacted by the change? Who else do you think we should involve before making the change?
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Version 2: Do-Over Mia: Hey Alex, the team and I have been thinking about creating different categories to streamline how we prioritize and support clients. Before we start working on it, I was hoping to learn from your experience and hear your perspective. Can I ask you some questions? Alex: Sure. It's good that you're on the lookout for efficiency ideas. That said, we've tried it before, and it didn't work. Plus a lot of effort went into creating our current process. Mia: Got it. Yeah. I definitely don't want to waste all that effort. My hope is to learn from the past and build on what we already have. What do you think of the idea of creating categories? Alex: I can see it being valuable, but I've also seen it become way too complicated. Mia: Yeah, I can see that. I'd really like to learn about what was tough about it. But, first, so I understand how you see it, can you tell me what do you see as the biggest benefits? Alex: Well, I do think we can work smarter if we know who our high-potential clients are. We can also do better resource planning if we know how many of each type of client we have. Mia: Good point. It sounds like efficiency and resource planning are important to consider. How about any concerns you have? You mentioned it got too complicated in the past. Alex: Right. We ended up with too many categories, and it took so long to assign the categories that it wasn't worth it. Plus, we can miscategorize and miss out on a big opportunity. Mia: Thanks for pointing that out. So, as we're thinking through solutions, we should make sure the process is lightweight and that it doesn't result in lost business. If we do that, would you be open to considering some ideas to adjust our current process? Alex: Yeah, it doesn't hurt to look at it again with a fresh set of eyes. Mia: Okay, great. And given your experience and the fact that your workflow would change if we roll out client categories, how would you like to be involved? Alex: How about we schedule a meeting with you and your team so I can explain the history of what we've tried in the past? Then you all can come up with a plan and run it by me.
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- [note::Great example on how to propose new ideas and get buy-in from other employees]

Alex isn't convinced yet that the change is a good idea, but at the Unfreeze Phase, she doesn't have to be. What matters at this point is that Alex doesn't believe that Mia is trying to change her but rather that they are exploring the possibility of change together. Plus, instead of seeing Mia as a meddler, Alex will probably even come to see her as a strong strategic thinker.
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- [note::I like the notion of being non-controlling i.e. you're not trying to change the other person, you're trying to get the other person to explore the possibility of change together]

Keep in mind that the goal of Pausing to hold a CAMPS listening tour is not to convince people but to understand their reasoning. Instead of defending the plan, lean into your Core BUs. Linkup to explain why the change is worth considering. Validate and Deblur their concerns. Extract the learning from their past experiences. And if you find yourself getting defensive, Pause and Q-step to dig deeper, then Play back to fully understand their perspective.
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There is a frequently repeated myth that humans dislike change. But look around. From new technology to new outfits, people are generally eager to explore, experiment, and make progress. The caveat? They have to feel in control of the change. As physician and change researcher Dean Ornish has been quoted in saying, “People don't resist change. They resist being changed” (Deutschman 2007).
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Whether in an office or in the hospital, your biggest change opposition will almost always be the people you are trying to change. The less you change them and the more you change with them, the more likely you are to unfreeze their thinking early on, and the faster your change will succeed.
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Unfreeze Phase Tool #2: Craft a Vision Statement
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A vision statement is a change “pitch” that you can use when you announce the change and share updates about it. If you learn that different stakeholders perceive the change differently, you may even need to craft different vision statements for different people, Linking up to what each cares about most. When speaking to a group of people, combine your vision statements to address their variety of concerns and earn support faster.
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Effective vision statements usually have the following four ingredients: Validation Heart Head Urgency I realize that X will be a risk/challenge … But imagine if … Consider the story of … Research shows that … The numbers are … We have to act now because …
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Validation statement: When average managers try to influence people to adopt a change, they tend to focus only on its positive aspects. The result? People are so distracted by the rebuttals in their minds that they hardly hear the positive message. What great managers do differently is Validate people's concerns up front. For example, “I realize that you are concerned about X. I am too,” “It's true that there is a risk of Y,” or “I know that this will take time and effort.”
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When average managers try to influence people to adopt a change, they tend to focus only on its positive aspects. The result? People are so distracted by the rebuttals in their minds that they hardly hear the positive message. What great managers do differently is Validate people's concerns up front. For example, “I realize that you are concerned about X. I am too,” “It's true that there is a risk of Y,” or “I know that this will take time and effort.”
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Heart statement: Once you've Validated people's concerns, your vision statement should speak to the “heart” – or more literally, to people's emotions. Heart messages lean on feelings (especially pain, fear, empathy, excitement, and pride), metaphors, imagination, and story (especially centered on one individual). Emotions spur motion, so this is a vital ingredient. For example, “Imagine if X,” “What if we could Y?” or “Consider the story of Z.”
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“The names of the patients whose lives we save can never be known. Our contribution will be what did not happen to them. And, though they are unknown, we will know that mothers and fathers are at graduations and weddings they would have missed, and that grandchildren will know grandparents they might never have known, and holidays will be taken, and work completed, and books read, and symphonies heard, and gardens tended that, without our work, would never have been.”
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- [note::Example "heart" component of a vision statement]

Head statement: Great managers also engage people's logic and reasoning. They share research, numbers, charts, and other concrete data. Even if people are emotionally bought-in, they'll need Deblurred information to help them rationalize their feelings and understand the reason for the change. For example: “Research shows that X,” “We'll save Y money, or “We'll reduce time by Z%.”
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Urgency statement: Skilled change leaders also add fuel to the fire. They Deblur why it's important to change now rather than wait to take action later. Focus on the risk or loss involved in waiting so that it's clear that inaction is also action. For example, “We have to act now because X,” “If we wait any longer Y can happen,” or “We have a rare opportunity now because Z.”
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A helpful visual of the challenge with change is an adaptation of psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's Change Curve. Source: LifeLabs Learning. Notice that it is a J-curve, which means that before people can reap the benefits of the new way of doing things, they will first perform worse than when they were doing things the old way. It is when people leave their comfort zone and plummet down into the depths of that J that they are most frustrated by change. Researcher Rosabeth Moss Kanter has described this pit as Kanter's Law: “Everything looks like a failure in the middle.”
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Change Phase Tool #1: Simplify the Plan
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Doing new things is effortful, and it can make people doubt their intelligence, which doesn't bode well for their eagerness to change. The best thing you can do to set people up for success is to make the change as cognitively lightweight as possible.
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- [note::"Minimize and simplify the change]

here are some specific tactics we came across in our manager interviews: Cut before adding. Just as Bernardo did for his team, find something to cut, reduce, or pause before adding something new. Remember the J-curve. Change takes time. It doesn't just represent a new way of doing things – it represents additional effort. Provide practice: Remember that neurons that fire together, wire together. Create deliberate neuron wiring opportunities by holding practice sessions. Just as bodybuilders have to do “reps” (repetitions) to strengthen their muscles, skill builders need to get their reps in too. Set aside time for people to practice, Q-step, and get feedback. Apply CAMPS listening tour insights: Incorporate insights from your listening tour so that the plan feels as tailored to people's input as possible. Use the Banana Principle: Have you noticed that whenever there is a bowl of fruit in an office, the bananas almost always go first, while the oranges go last? Why are bananas so much more appeeling? Very simply, there is minimal friction between the desire to eat and the act of peeling. To make a new behavior more likely to happen, make it just a few seconds easier to start – like peeling a banana. To make an old behavior less likely to happen, make it just a few seconds harder to start – like peeling an orange. This is a change leadership hack Tania Luna and Jordan Cohen (2017) have nicknamed the Banana Principle. Psychologist Shawn Achor (2010) points out that just 20 seconds of “activation energy” can make all the difference. Want people to use a new webtool? Have them bookmark it. Want team members to stop interrupting one another with “quick questions”? Set a norm of wearing headphones when you need to concentrate. Want to encourage more collaboration? Preschedule coworking hours.
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When in doubt about how to simplify your plan, extend your listening tour and Q-step with, “What would make this change at least 10% easier for you?” Remember to Deblur and Playback their answers.
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Change Phase Tool #2: Plan Early Wins
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Aside from simplifying your plan, how else can you help build momentum for change? One delightful way to do it is to Pause before the initiative even begins and plan an early win. Bernardo did this by assigning just three members of his team to handle chat support for two weeks. He collected customer praise, then asked his manager to hold a department-wide celebration. The pilot team members felt proud of their accomplishments and more excited to be part of the change. What's more, they became the “poster kids” of the change company-wide.
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- [note::Reminds me of "finding your champions" from Becoming a Changemaker]

Refreeze Phase
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Refreeze Phase Tool #1: Overcommunicate
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Great managers recognize this and don't just communicate about the change in the beginning but intentionally overcommunicate on an ongoing basis. In other words, they talk about the change even more often than they think they need to – but not to the point of repeating the message so much that people tune out.
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How do you find that right balance? In the world of advertising, the question of how many times a message should be repeated before it sticks is called “effective frequency,” a term popularized by Michale Naples (1979). Just how frequent does a message have to be to become effective? A meta-analysis of research has found a range of 10 to 20 repetitions to be optimal (Bornstein 1989). ... But here's the trick: the most effective managers keep their repetitive communication feeling fresh. They recruit multiple spokespeople aside from themselves, they use diverse channels (like email, group meetings, one-on-one conversations, videos, and even balloons and bathroom posters), and they space out their messages into communication “drip campaigns.”
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Refreeze Phase Tool #2: Create Behavioral Cues
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They leverage their team's environments to create behavioral cues. Unlike a reminder, which keeps a message top of mind but not necessarily at the most relevant moments, a behavioral cue prompts the target behavior just when it needs to happen. In this way, you are not relying on people's memories but on what behavioral economists Cass Sunstein and Richard Thaler (2009) have famously dubbed “nudges.”
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Link to existing habits. Use the power of if-thens (from Chapter 9). Is there an existing habit or process that your team is already familiar with? Find ways to “link” the new behavior to the existing one. For example, if you want to strengthen your team's feedback culture and you already have weekly one-on-ones, build a feedback prompt into the agenda (if we're in a one-on-one meeting, then we'll exchange feedback). If you want to change your expense tracking system and your team members already submit time sheets, create a cue to attach receipts along with time sheets.
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Create a checklist. One of the best ways to help people remember to do something is to eliminate the need to remember it. Create – or, better yet, co-create – a checklist instead.
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Establish feedback loops: Rather than give feedback every time you see someone do (or not do) the new behaviors, build ongoing feedback loops into your team's environment.
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To create behavioral cues for your change initiative, ask yourself: “When will people have the choice of doing things the old way or the new way?” “What kind of prompt can cue the right behavior at the right time?” and “How can I embed cues that prompt that right behavior even when I'm not around?”
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Normalize Change
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From day one, great managers let their team members know that processes and policies are all works in progress and that they will continue to evolve – ideally with the team's help. These managers often refer to change initiatives as “experiments” to invite a mindset of curiosity and encourage Extracting learning. And when change feels hard, they Validate people's feelings, acknowledging that their reactions are normal, and helping them focus on the benefits of change.
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Keep Change Normal
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Instead of letting team members get too cozy in their comfort zones and become too frozen in their ways, the best leaders create change on a regular basis. Following are some of our favorite examples: Hold quarterly retros (see Chapter 10) to share feedback, Extract learnings, and come up with improvements the team can make. Rotate meeting roles (see Chapter 13) to create a sense of novelty. Help each person create an individual development plan to collect new skills. (We'll delve further into this practice in the next chapter.) Teach one another something new every month. Read a new book together once a quarter. Invite a client, instructor, or member of another team once a quarter. Shadow other team members to learn tips and tricks from one another. Pick one process or system to improve once a quarter. Nudge people to take risks and actively stretch their zone of comfort. Call out and celebrate people's adaptivity and flexibility whenever they see it.
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Based on a global study of nearly three million employees across 54 industries, two of the best predictors of employee engagement are positive responses to the following (Harter et al. 2020): “There is someone at work who encourages my development.” “In the past year, I have had opportunities at work to learn and grow.”
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We refer to this skill as people development. It consists of knowing how to (1) identify business needs, (2) identify individual needs, (3) help people develop high leverage skills, and (4) make development a theme rather than a rare event.
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When we studied great managers, this was the first thing we noticed them do to think strategically about their team members' development and the capabilities most needed on their team. In particular, they made it their job to be able to answer these two questions: Current state: Where do we need more knowledge, skills, or experience as a team? (Consider where your team needs more backup in case someone is out or leaves and what projects you can't start or delegate because of a capability gap on the team.) Future state: What skills, knowledge, and experience will our team need in 1–2 years? (Consider new challenges that might arise and new opportunities on the horizon.)
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Equipped with this information, you can make and share a capability map, so that everyone on your team is aware of the highest-priority development opportunities.
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- [note::Ooo, love this idea! Illuminating anticipated challenges related to team skills/capabilities and letting your team chew on how they might want to upskill to meet these needs.]

and experience areas your team most needs.
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How can you identify and help your team members identify their development needs? ... Schedule time to Q-step by asking your team members these Zoom Out questions at least once or twice a year, and Play back what you hear: Zoom Out Guide Loves and loathes What types of work do you want to do more of, less of, and why? Strengths What do you see as your biggest strengths? How often do you use them? Energizers What challenges or goals excite you or matter to you most and why? No-go list What types of work are you pretty sure you do not want to do? Priorities What are your career priorities (for example, more responsibility, using strengths and energizers more, more pay, more flexibility, less stress)? Role models Whose work do you admire or are you curious to learn more about? Mastery In what ways can you become even more effective in your current role? Goals What responsibilities or roles might you want to take on in 1–5 years? Gaps What might hold you back from attaining your goals? Capabilities Let's Extract the learning: what skills, knowledge, or experiences might help you do more of the work you want and achieve your career priorities?
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Bonus: For developmental coaching videos and a Zoom Out Guide template, visit leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.
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After every new experience, help them Extract their learnings about what kind of work they like and – just as importantly – what they don't like, and use lots of Playbacks to help them reflect. The goal here is not to find that one perfect role but to become increasingly self-aware about what type of work is most meaningful, energizing, and suited to one's individual needs.
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Business Needs Mismatch: Deblur Expectations.
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If individual development needs do not Linkup to business needs, this is a prompt to set expectations. Here is a silly (though not altogether unrealistic) example: “Just so we're aligned: I don't expect cooking skills to become a priority since we're a tech company. Let me know if you'd like to explore other development opportunities you'll be more likely to use at work. That said – if you want to keep building your cooking skills for fun, you are more than welcome to cater our team lunches!”
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Missing Capability: Have a Gap Conversation
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Another tricky mismatch that managers face is when a development opportunity (like a role or a responsibility) exists and does align with a team member's needs but not with their current capability. If the costs of learning by doing are relatively low, it's usually worth it to give people a chance. If the costs or risks are high, the best course of action is usually a “gap conversation.” For example: “Here are the requirements for this opportunity …. Here are areas where I see a fit and where I see a gap …. While I can't guarantee that you'll get this opportunity, I want to support you in making it as likely as possible, whether now or in the future. With that in mind, would you like to work together to close that gap?”
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Individual Development Plan (IDP)
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Nearly every great manager we studied encouraged their team members to create some form of an Individual Development Plan (IDP). An IDP is a written commitment to focus on a specific development area for a specific period of time. The more Deblurred it is, the more likely people are to follow through.
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Here is a template we share with our workshop participants: INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPMENT PLAN SAMPLE ANSWERS Capability: What is the development area? Communication skills Linkup: Why is it important to you to develop in this area? (How will it help you and others?) I'll help build more alignment on our team. Communication skills will also help me with my goal of taking on a leadership role . Focus: What's a specific BU, skill, or knowledge area you want to grow? Playbacks and split-tracks Self-assessment: What is your current capability level on a scale of 1–10? 6 Manager assessment: What is your manager's assessment of your level on a scale of 1–10? 7 Success criteria: How would a 10 look? Using playbacks and split-tracks in most one-on-one and team conversations 3E ideas to increase your score by 1 point: [Note: we'll explain what this means in the section below] Education (book, article, podcast, class) Read The Leader Lab Experience (projects, practice) Give myself a point for each playback I do Exposure (interview, shadow) Observe how Dean does this in meetings Next steps: What (specifically) will you do? Pick ideas from the 3E idea bank. Read The Leader Lab! Timeline: When will you do it? Start tomorrow, finish one month from today . Check points: When and how will we check in about it? I will put it on our one-on-one agenda one month from now .
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Bonus: Download an IDP template at leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.
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Encourage small, steady progress, by Q-stepping with, “What will help you improve by just one point on a scale of one to 10?” The more deliberate and consistent your development conversations are, the more rapid progress people will make.
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3E Model
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To help people get the most of their education, leverage the protégé effect, which we mentioned at the start of this book. People learn faster by teaching, so create opportunities to share summaries and teach others on the team (Chase et al. 2009).
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Pro-tip: While experience is a good teacher, it can be easy to forget that it's a learning opportunity, which results in what we call “experience float.” To help people Extract the learning from their experience, Pause and demarcate it. For example, “Wow. You just did that for the first time. What did you learn?”
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A sample expectation-setting message might be: “I'm here for you to help you grow in ways that are most meaningful to you and help our team succeed, but ultimately you'll know best what you need. People who do well here are proactive about their own development. They find ways to stretch their skills, contribute, develop new relationships, and pull for feedback often. Whenever you want to experiment with new ways to grow or if you just want an accountability partner, don't hesitate to come to me for support.”
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Create a Cadence
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a brief development check-in weekly in your one-on-one meetings. Ask: “Last week you said you wanted to do _____ as a small step. How did it go?” “What did you learn?” “What's something small you will try next week?”
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Demarcate and Track
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In the introduction to this book (“The Backstory”) we mentioned Niko, a great manager we studied who helped her team members update their résumés every year on their work anniversaries. Though it was a controversial move, her team had some of the best retention rates in the company.
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- [note::LOVEEE this. It's silly to think that your employees won't eventually move on from your team/organization. Lean into the fact that you both know this.]

Bonus: Download a development tracker template at leaderlab.lifelabslearning.com.
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Core Behavioral Units Q-step Playback Deblur Validate Linkup Pause Extract Core skills and tools Coaching SOON Funnel Feedback Q-BIQ Method, Feedback Salsa Productivity Time language, stop/start meetings on time, time audit, MITs, Quadrants, Buckets, CCS, Closed Loop Culture, If-thens, Pomodoro, Kanban One-on-Ones CAMPS Model Strategy Gap analysis, 3 Lenses Model, UC Check, Inclusive Planning Meetings 4P Opener, q-storm, round-robins, rotate roles, defer judgment, idea quotas, cross-pollinate, DACI, Impact/Feasibility Map, pros/cons/mitigations Change CAMPS listening tour, vision statement, simplify the plan, plan early wins, overcommunicate, behavioral cues, normalize change Development Capability Mapping, Zoom Out, Venn Zone, IDPs, 3E Model
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Leadership Scenarios Self-Assessment Score 1–10 (10 = highest) 1. Imagine you have a team member who is demotivated by their work. How confident are you that you know how to coach them to find more motivation?   2. Let's say someone on your team comes across as dismissive when others share ideas. How confident are you that you know how to give them feedback?   3. Assume that one of your team members is constantly overwhelmed, falling behind on deadlines, and having trouble focusing. How confident are you that you know how to help?   4. Effective one-on-one meetings increase engagement, development, and productivity. How confident are you that you know how to achieve these results with the one-on-ones you have with each person on your team?   5. Imagine that your team is working on a large, complex, cross-functional project. How confident are you that you know how to help them think strategically and avoid common strategic thinking mistakes?   6. Let's say you are leading a meeting where some people are going off topic, some are overtalking, and it's unclear how the group should make a decision. How confident are you that you know how to course-correct and get the meeting back on track?   7. When change happens, team members often resist it or avoid it. How confident are you that you know how to gain buy-in?   8. Assume that one of your team members feels like they are not learning and growing. How confident are you that you know how to help them develop in ways that are meaningful to them and helpful for the company?   9. Great managers know how to leverage their team's diversity, mitigate bias, and make each person feel valued and respected. How confident are you that you know how to be inclusive?   10. Great leaders are also great learners. How confident are you that you know how to keep learning and growing as a manager?   Total leadership confidence score:
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- [note::Good questions for a self leader/manager audit]

Wigert, Ben, and Jim Harter. 2017. Re-Engineering Performance Management. Washington, DC: Gallup Press. https://www.gallup.com/file/workplace/238064/Re-EngineeringPerformanceManagement_2018.pdf.
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Orlob, Chris. “The 7 Best Discovery Call Tips for Sales You'll Ever Read.” 2017. Gong, July 5. https://www.gong.io/blog/deal-closing-discovery-call/.
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Clifton, Jim, and Jim Harter. 2019. It's the Manager: Moving from Boss to Coach. Washington, DC: Gallup Press.
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Green, Charles H., and Andrea P. Howe. 2011. The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
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Nutt, Paul C. 2004. “Expanding the Search for Alternatives during Strategic Decision-Making.” Academy of Management Executive (1993–2005) 18, no. 4 (November): 13–28. http://www.jstor.org/stable/4166121.
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Ashford, Susan J., and Anne S. Tsui. 2017. “Self-Regulation for Managerial Effectiveness: The Role of Active Feedback Seeking.” Academy of Management 34, no. 2 (November): 251–280. https://doi.org/10.5465/256442.
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Bressler, Martin, and Clarence Von Bergen. 2014. “The Sandwich Feedback Method: Not Very Tasty.” Journal of Behavioral Studies in Business 7 (September): 1–13. http://aabri.com/manuscripts/141831.pdf.
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Buehler, Roger, Dale Griffin, and Michael Ross. 1994. “Exploring the “Planning Fallacy”: Why People Underestimate Their Task Completion Times.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 67, no. 3 (September): 366–381. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.67.3.366.
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Cirillo, Francesco. 2018. The Pomodoro Technique: The Acclaimed Time-Management System That Has Transformed How We Work. New York: Currency, 2018.
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Janicik, Gregory A., and Caroline A. Bartel. 2003. “Talking About Time: Effects of Temporal Planning and Time Awareness Norms on Group Coordination and Performance.” Group Dynamics: Theory, Research, and Practice 7, no. 2 (June): 122–134. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2699.7.2.122.
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Mark, Gloria, Daniela Gudith, and Ulrich Klocke. 2008. “The Cost of Interrupted Work.” Proceeding of the Twenty-Sixth Annual CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems – CHI ’08 (April): 107–110. https://doi.org/10.1145/1357054.1357072.
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Pope, Nolan. 2016. “How the Time of Day Affects Productivity: Evidence From School Schedules.” Review of Economics and Statistics 98, no. 1 (March): 1–11. https://doi.org/10.1162/REST_a_00525.
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Rogelberg, Steven G. 2019. The Surprising Science of Meetings: How You Can Lead Your Team to Peak Performance. New York: Oxford University Press.
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Wieth, Mareike, and Rose Zacks. 2011. “Time of Day Effects on Problem Solving: When the Non-Optimal Is Optimal.” Thinking & Reasoning 17, no. 4 (March): 387–401. https://doi.org/10.1080/13546783.2011.625663.
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Clifton, Jim, and Jim Harter. 2019. It's the Manager: Moving from Boss to Coach. Washington, DC: Gallup Press.
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Corsello, Jason, and Dylan Minor. 2017. “Want to Be More Productive? Sit Next to Someone Who Is.” CMCAcorner.Com, February 22. https://cmcacorner.com/2017/02/22/want-to-be-more-productive-sit-next-to-someone-who-is/.
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Harter, James k., Frank L. Schmidt, Sangeeta Agrawal, Anthony Blue, Stephanie K. Plowman, Patrick Josh, and Jim Asplund. 2020. “The Powerful Relationship Between Engagement at Work and Organizational Outcomes.” Gallup. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/321032/employee-engagement-meta-analysis-brief.aspx.
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Wilson, Timothy D., David A. Reinhard, Erin C. Westgate, Daniel T. Gilbert, Nicole Ellerbeck, Cheryl Hahn, Casey L. Brown, and Adi Shaked. 2014. “Just Think: The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind.” Science 345, no. 6192 (July): 75–77. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1250830.
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Kabacoff, Robert. 2014. “Develop Strategic Thinkers Throughout Your Organization.” Harvard Business Review, February 7. https://hbr.org/2014/02/develop-strategic-thinkers-throughout-your-organization.
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Neilson, Gary L., Karla L. Martin, and Elizabeth Powers. 2008. “The Secrets to Successful Strategy Execution.” Harvard Business Review 86, no. 6 (June): 60–70, 138. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18605030/.
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Cohen, Melissa A., Steven G. Rogelberg, Joseph A. Allen, and Alexandra Luong. 2011. “Meeting Design Characteristics and Attendee Perceptions of Staff/Team Meeting Quality.” Group Dynamics: Theory, Research, and Practice 15, no. 1 (March): 90–104. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021549.
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Doodle. 2019. “The State of Meetings Report.” https://meeting-report.com/.
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Miller, Paddy, and Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg. 2013. Innovation as Usual: How to Help Your People Bring Great Ideas to Life. Boston: Harvard Business Press.
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Pope, Nolan G. 2016. “How the Time of Day Affects Productivity: Evidence from School Schedules.” Review of Economics and Statistics 98, no. 1 (March): 1–11. https://doi.org/10.1162/rest_a_00525.
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Rogelberg, Steven G. 2019. The Surprising Science of Meetings: How You Can Lead Your Team to Peak Performance. New York: Oxford University Press.
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Whetten, David A., and Kim S. Cameron. 1991. Developing Management Skills (2nd ed.). New York: HarperCollins.
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Woolley, Anita Williams, Christopher F. Chabris, Alex Pentland, Nada Hashmi, and Thomas W. Malone. 2010. “Evidence for a Collective Intelligence Factor in the Performance of Human Groups.” Science 330, no. 6004 (October): 686–688. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1193147.
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Chapter 14: Leading Change
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Blanchard, Ken, John Britt, Judd Hoekstra, and Pat Zigarmi. 2009. Who Killed Change? Solving the Mystery of Leading People through Change. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.
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Cummings, Stephen, Todd Bridgman, and Kenneth G Brown. 2015. “Unfreezing Change as Three Steps: Rethinking Kurt Lewin's Legacy for Change Management.” Human Relations 69, no. 1 (September): 33–60. https://doi.org/10.1177/0018726715577707.
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Deutschman, Alan. 2007. Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life. New York: Harper Business.
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Heath, Chip, and Dan Heath. 2010. Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard. New York: Random House US.
- Location 6160
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Leonardi, Paul M., Tsedal B. Neeley, and Elizabeth M. Gerber. 2011. “How Managers Use Multiple Media: Discrepant Events, Power, and Timing in Redundant Communication.” Organization Science 23, no. 1 (April 11): 98–117. https://doi.org/10.1287/orsc.1110.0638.
- Location 6165
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Harter, James k., Frank L. Schmidt, Sangeeta Agrawal, Anthony Blue, Stephanie K. Plowman, Patrick Josh, and Jim Asplund. 2020. The Relationship Between Engagement at Work and Organizational Outcomes. Washington, DC: Gallup Press.
- Location 6193
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