(highlight:: What is systemic therapy?
Summary:
Marriage and family therapy, or systemic therapy, examines problems by considering the various systems a person is part of, such as family, friends, school, and culture.
It explores how these systems can create problems or provide solutions and resources. It also evaluates the value of behavior within these systems.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And marriage and family therapy is kind of the marketing term for systemic therapy. It's the type of therapy that's about looking at your problems through the systems that you're part of, so there's your family system, your friend system, school system, the culture That you're in, the way these different systems like bump up against each other or intersect in ways that might cause problems for you. And also ways that you can find solutions and find resources within those systems that you're part of and examining behavior as the what's the value of the behavior to the system that You're part of what keeps it in place.)
- Time 0:03:37
- therapy, family_systems, systemic_therapy, 1socialdont-post,

(highlight:: Assessing Whether Therapy is Going Well: Optimism, Emotional Resonance, and Progression
Summary:
To determine if a therapy or coaching session was beneficial, there are three key factors to consider.
Firstly, having optimism or hope that you will achieve what you want. Secondly, experiencing emotional resonance, whether it be surprising or cathartic.
Lastly, having reasonable expectations and allowing for progress over time.
These factors help gauge the effectiveness of the session and guide individuals in their relationships with therapists or mentors.
Transcript:
Speaker 2
And the three part model is first, do you have optimism or hope that you can get something from the experience that you want? And optimism and hope, I feel like are a little bit different in the sense, but close enough that I kind of do optimism slash hope. But a person feeling like they independent of other things are getting encouraging signs that this thing that they're doing with the therapist or the coach or whatever, you can speak, I suppose, on behalf of therapists for now, whereas I try to stay away from that most of the time because of legal entanglements or whatever. So I just say, you know, whoever is acting like a, like a quote unquote guide or a mentor or something. The second being emotional resonance. So was the experience moving in a way that, you know, one great indicator of the resonance is whether it was like surprising to someone, but also could be moving like predictable, but Cathartic, different different types of emotional resonance. And then the third is reasonable expectations or progression. So I guess this can connect with the points about like how long should you wait before even thinking these dimensions and I'm trying to get a sense. I mean, obviously, we're all sort of tracking that as we're going along in these relationships. But points three would be would be something like you could have your own internal standard of what is reasonable to expect after a certain amount of time. But you could also, if there's some kind of like specialist that you're seeing and they say something like, you know, it could take this amount of time for you to see results or whatever In this area, then that could be something to listen to instead of cutting it short or something like that.)
- Time 0:06:13
- frameworks, therapy, evaluation, reflection, 1socialdont-post,

(highlight:: Tell your therapist what successful therapy looks like for you
Summary:
In a free orientation call, I ask clients what changes they would need in their life to feel like therapy is working.
It's important to define what success means for each individual. Would it be feeling different in the morning, at lunchtime, or on a weekly scale?
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Usually you do like a 20 minute free like orientation call or something where I say, you know, well, what would ending therapy look like for you such that you would feel either like, well, It would have to be different in your life. So say you'd feel like, okay, it's time to like skip a session every every so often or like take a month off and say, I feel or something like that. Like what would have to be different in your life to get to work? Not like 100% everything's great, but more like you feel like you're on the path. Good question. And it's a really useful question. Well, I'm so happy to get to that to that stage. And I think it's really valuable to know that to keep in mind when you're working with a with a guy does something of some kind like what does what is success even looking for you? And for people who don't know what that looks like, that's like the first thing that I'm saying, okay, let's figure that out. Like what is what does a good life for you feel like will look like? What is it thinking of? Would you know something different in the morning as soon as you get out of bed? Would you know something different around lunch time? Would you know something different, you know, I'm like a week long scale because of the things we're doing on a week long scale is dead over daily scale?)
- Time 0:36:04
- agency, communication, goals, self-advocacy, therapy, 1socialdont-post,

(highlight:: The Price of a Therapist is More Correlated with Their Experience Than Their Skill
Key takeaways:
• There may not be a strong correlation between the price of therapists and their skill level.
• The price of therapists may be influenced by their level of experience.
• The cost of living in an area can impact the price of therapy.
• Therapy costs can vary significantly between different countries.
• Therapists in expensive cities like New York or the Bay Area may charge higher rates.
• The expectations and perspectives of therapists in different areas can vary.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
I guess my final summation of this point specific one is something like, I don't think there was a very good correlation between price of therapists and skill therapists. I think there's probably a a correlation between price of therapists and experience therapist has. I think there's way adjusted by like price or cost of living in the area that they live in. Very like different countries are going to have massively different costs for therapy because of this. Most of the therapists I know who charge 315 an hour live in like New York or or the Bay Area or something like that. And yeah, it's just like living in Miami has set my expectations a certain way that I'm sure like a therapist working in like a more more area, for example, would just be very have a different Sense of things.)
- Time 1:13:04
- therapy, therapy_quality, therapt_cost, 1socialdont-post,

Treat Therapy as an Experiment (Set Aside X Dollars for Y Sessions and See How It Goes
Transcript:
Speaker 2
I guess for somebody who's approaching this, a thing I would say to them is that if they have a box for how much they should pay, if you were to run some kind of experiment to see whether this Thing is worth it, it's likely the case that you should expand the bounds of that box just for the experiment. And then also throughout the course of that experiment would be a recommendation of mine for five sessions, you basically like part ways with that money. Even if you're not paying five sessions up front, you say like, okay, I'm fine losing this money, which can be really hard for a low come individually. I understand. But like, I am parting with this share of money. I'm not going to think about it now. And I'm just going to like try to engage in the session. Because one of the one of the biggest issues that I found is that when people are sort of teetering on the edge of, can I afford this or not? And I could tell and I worked through a plan with them. And it was like on the high end, but they're like, okay, let's try it. They were trying to harvest value out of every minute. And they were just like approaching it in this very, in this way that I don't think is conducive to consolidating a lot of benefits and like really immersing yourself and what's going On. So it'd be like, have the experiment, expand the bounds, you know, not a crazy amount, but like a reasonable amount, whatever that would be. And then like wave goodbye to that money and just see how it goes, you know, when you pick your head up after five sessions and see like, does this redefine my relationship to whether this Is worth it or not?)
- Time 1:23:59
- experimentation, therapy, 1socialpost-queue,
- [note::This (i.e. experimentation) is an important concept that can be applied to a wide variety of domains. Therapy, events, subscriptions, etc. The potential for wasting your money on things is limitless, but never know which of those things you thought "wouldn't be worth it" was actually extraordinarily valuable.]

(highlight:: What is systemic therapy?
Summary:
Marriage and family therapy, or systemic therapy, examines problems by considering the various systems a person is part of, such as family, friends, school, and culture.
It explores how these systems can create problems or provide solutions and resources. It also evaluates the value of behavior within these systems.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And marriage and family therapy is kind of the marketing term for systemic therapy. It's the type of therapy that's about looking at your problems through the systems that you're part of, so there's your family system, your friend system, school system, the culture That you're in, the way these different systems like bump up against each other or intersect in ways that might cause problems for you. And also ways that you can find solutions and find resources within those systems that you're part of and examining behavior as the what's the value of the behavior to the system that You're part of what keeps it in place.)
- Time 0:03:37
- therapy, family_systems, systemic_therapy, 1socialdont-post,

(highlight:: Assessing Whether Therapy is Going Well: Optimism, Emotional Resonance, and Progression
Summary:
To determine if a therapy or coaching session was beneficial, there are three key factors to consider.
Firstly, having optimism or hope that you will achieve what you want. Secondly, experiencing emotional resonance, whether it be surprising or cathartic.
Lastly, having reasonable expectations and allowing for progress over time.
These factors help gauge the effectiveness of the session and guide individuals in their relationships with therapists or mentors.
Transcript:
Speaker 2
And the three part model is first, do you have optimism or hope that you can get something from the experience that you want? And optimism and hope, I feel like are a little bit different in the sense, but close enough that I kind of do optimism slash hope. But a person feeling like they independent of other things are getting encouraging signs that this thing that they're doing with the therapist or the coach or whatever, you can speak, I suppose, on behalf of therapists for now, whereas I try to stay away from that most of the time because of legal entanglements or whatever. So I just say, you know, whoever is acting like a, like a quote unquote guide or a mentor or something. The second being emotional resonance. So was the experience moving in a way that, you know, one great indicator of the resonance is whether it was like surprising to someone, but also could be moving like predictable, but Cathartic, different different types of emotional resonance. And then the third is reasonable expectations or progression. So I guess this can connect with the points about like how long should you wait before even thinking these dimensions and I'm trying to get a sense. I mean, obviously, we're all sort of tracking that as we're going along in these relationships. But points three would be would be something like you could have your own internal standard of what is reasonable to expect after a certain amount of time. But you could also, if there's some kind of like specialist that you're seeing and they say something like, you know, it could take this amount of time for you to see results or whatever In this area, then that could be something to listen to instead of cutting it short or something like that.)
- Time 0:06:13
- frameworks, therapy, evaluation, reflection, 1socialdont-post,

(highlight:: Tell your therapist what successful therapy looks like for you
Summary:
In a free orientation call, I ask clients what changes they would need in their life to feel like therapy is working.
It's important to define what success means for each individual. Would it be feeling different in the morning, at lunchtime, or on a weekly scale?
Transcript:
Speaker 1
Usually you do like a 20 minute free like orientation call or something where I say, you know, well, what would ending therapy look like for you such that you would feel either like, well, It would have to be different in your life. So say you'd feel like, okay, it's time to like skip a session every every so often or like take a month off and say, I feel or something like that. Like what would have to be different in your life to get to work? Not like 100% everything's great, but more like you feel like you're on the path. Good question. And it's a really useful question. Well, I'm so happy to get to that to that stage. And I think it's really valuable to know that to keep in mind when you're working with a with a guy does something of some kind like what does what is success even looking for you? And for people who don't know what that looks like, that's like the first thing that I'm saying, okay, let's figure that out. Like what is what does a good life for you feel like will look like? What is it thinking of? Would you know something different in the morning as soon as you get out of bed? Would you know something different around lunch time? Would you know something different, you know, I'm like a week long scale because of the things we're doing on a week long scale is dead over daily scale?)
- Time 0:36:04
- agency, communication, goals, self-advocacy, therapy, 1socialdont-post,

(highlight:: The Price of a Therapist is More Correlated with Their Experience Than Their Skill
Key takeaways:
• There may not be a strong correlation between the price of therapists and their skill level.
• The price of therapists may be influenced by their level of experience.
• The cost of living in an area can impact the price of therapy.
• Therapy costs can vary significantly between different countries.
• Therapists in expensive cities like New York or the Bay Area may charge higher rates.
• The expectations and perspectives of therapists in different areas can vary.
Transcript:
Speaker 1
I guess my final summation of this point specific one is something like, I don't think there was a very good correlation between price of therapists and skill therapists. I think there's probably a a correlation between price of therapists and experience therapist has. I think there's way adjusted by like price or cost of living in the area that they live in. Very like different countries are going to have massively different costs for therapy because of this. Most of the therapists I know who charge 315 an hour live in like New York or or the Bay Area or something like that. And yeah, it's just like living in Miami has set my expectations a certain way that I'm sure like a therapist working in like a more more area, for example, would just be very have a different Sense of things.)
- Time 1:13:04
- therapy, therapy_quality, therapt_cost, 1socialdont-post,

Treat Therapy as an Experiment (Set Aside X Dollars for Y Sessions and See How It Goes
Transcript:
Speaker 2
I guess for somebody who's approaching this, a thing I would say to them is that if they have a box for how much they should pay, if you were to run some kind of experiment to see whether this Thing is worth it, it's likely the case that you should expand the bounds of that box just for the experiment. And then also throughout the course of that experiment would be a recommendation of mine for five sessions, you basically like part ways with that money. Even if you're not paying five sessions up front, you say like, okay, I'm fine losing this money, which can be really hard for a low come individually. I understand. But like, I am parting with this share of money. I'm not going to think about it now. And I'm just going to like try to engage in the session. Because one of the one of the biggest issues that I found is that when people are sort of teetering on the edge of, can I afford this or not? And I could tell and I worked through a plan with them. And it was like on the high end, but they're like, okay, let's try it. They were trying to harvest value out of every minute. And they were just like approaching it in this very, in this way that I don't think is conducive to consolidating a lot of benefits and like really immersing yourself and what's going On. So it'd be like, have the experiment, expand the bounds, you know, not a crazy amount, but like a reasonable amount, whatever that would be. And then like wave goodbye to that money and just see how it goes, you know, when you pick your head up after five sessions and see like, does this redefine my relationship to whether this Is worth it or not?)
- Time 1:23:59
- experimentation, therapy, 1socialpost-queue,
- [note::This (i.e. experimentation) is an important concept that can be applied to a wide variety of domains. Therapy, events, subscriptions, etc. The potential for wasting your money on things is limitless, but never know which of those things you thought "wouldn't be worth it" was actually extraordinarily valuable.]