(highlight:: Too Many People Equate Freedom With Independence
Transcript:
Speaker 2
And to be free was to be in connected community. Mia argues that today too many people equate freedom with independence, and that can lead us to go it alone when we don't need to.
Speaker 1
And I think we've been told that the people who are strong, the people who are achieving and successful are doing it on their own. They're figuring out how to do it on their own. And that there is actually some like little badge of honor that we get from suffering.)
- Time 0:03:20
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(highlight:: The Paradox of the American Idea of Freedom
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And all of that stands in such stark contrast to the American narrative about freedom, which is deeply individualistic, which is that depending on or counting on other people makes You less free and you're more free if you only have to count on yourself, which means that you need to hoard resources so that you have everything that you need. You get everything through transaction so that like, you know, you don't owe anybody. It means you don't ask for help. It means you're not responsible for or accountable to anybody. The idea of freedom being like you can do whatever the hell you want and like nobody can tell you otherwise, right? Yep. And that is like so antithetical to what it means to be a person because we are fundamentally social animals, you know, we're not lizards, like hatch out of an egg and then go about our Business and able to like fend for our souls, right? Just stunning yourself on a rock by yourself. Right. Like we can't go and just like immediately, we're not born and then we just like go get feed ourselves. Like we need care, right? That is like like part of what we need certainly as babies, right? No baby can do anything for herself as children and as adults. And this American idea of freedom is so separated from that.)
- Time 0:09:38
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(highlight:: The Original American Ideals are Incompatible With Being an Actual Human
Transcript:
Speaker 2
So when you say the American dream narrative is antithetical to freedom, what do you specifically mean by the American dream narrative?
Speaker 1
So when I think about the kind of fundamental ideals that were written into, you know, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and the idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness And who was articulating that, right? So we had white straight as far as we know, right? Landowning men. Yep. And who represented a minority of the American population, women were not considered at all that's like half right there. No black people, no poor people. So when I think about that and I think about what the American dream is, that's the ideal, right? And that you do that through working hard, not asking for help. And you know, you're amassing like your kingdom. That is not being a person. That is not about being in community. It's not about caring for others. There's nothing in there about love. Like it's such an existentially central part of the human experience are like pursuit of and desire for and need for love.)
- Time 0:10:59
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Building Relationships Requires Sharing Yourself (ALL of Yourself With Others
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And I think primarily what gets in our way is not do we know what to do, but are we willing to do it? There is no way to have close relationship without allowing yourself to be seen in some way. And I think many of us, I am many of us, are terrified of being known. We want people to see the best version of ourselves because we think that that's the version that people will love. That's the version that people will praise. That's the version that people will want to be around. Nobody is that version of themselves. We are all sure we do good and we do well, but we also like mess up and are unsure and insecure and have a hard time.)
- Time 0:30:39
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(highlight:: Too Many People Equate Freedom With Independence
Transcript:
Speaker 2
And to be free was to be in connected community. Mia argues that today too many people equate freedom with independence, and that can lead us to go it alone when we don't need to.
Speaker 1
And I think we've been told that the people who are strong, the people who are achieving and successful are doing it on their own. They're figuring out how to do it on their own. And that there is actually some like little badge of honor that we get from suffering.)
- Time 0:03:20
-

(highlight:: The Paradox of the American Idea of Freedom
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And all of that stands in such stark contrast to the American narrative about freedom, which is deeply individualistic, which is that depending on or counting on other people makes You less free and you're more free if you only have to count on yourself, which means that you need to hoard resources so that you have everything that you need. You get everything through transaction so that like, you know, you don't owe anybody. It means you don't ask for help. It means you're not responsible for or accountable to anybody. The idea of freedom being like you can do whatever the hell you want and like nobody can tell you otherwise, right? Yep. And that is like so antithetical to what it means to be a person because we are fundamentally social animals, you know, we're not lizards, like hatch out of an egg and then go about our Business and able to like fend for our souls, right? Just stunning yourself on a rock by yourself. Right. Like we can't go and just like immediately, we're not born and then we just like go get feed ourselves. Like we need care, right? That is like like part of what we need certainly as babies, right? No baby can do anything for herself as children and as adults. And this American idea of freedom is so separated from that.)
- Time 0:09:38
-

(highlight:: The Original American Ideals are Incompatible With Being an Actual Human
Transcript:
Speaker 2
So when you say the American dream narrative is antithetical to freedom, what do you specifically mean by the American dream narrative?
Speaker 1
So when I think about the kind of fundamental ideals that were written into, you know, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and the idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness And who was articulating that, right? So we had white straight as far as we know, right? Landowning men. Yep. And who represented a minority of the American population, women were not considered at all that's like half right there. No black people, no poor people. So when I think about that and I think about what the American dream is, that's the ideal, right? And that you do that through working hard, not asking for help. And you know, you're amassing like your kingdom. That is not being a person. That is not about being in community. It's not about caring for others. There's nothing in there about love. Like it's such an existentially central part of the human experience are like pursuit of and desire for and need for love.)
- Time 0:10:59
-

Building Relationships Requires Sharing Yourself (ALL of Yourself With Others
Transcript:
Speaker 1
And I think primarily what gets in our way is not do we know what to do, but are we willing to do it? There is no way to have close relationship without allowing yourself to be seen in some way. And I think many of us, I am many of us, are terrified of being known. We want people to see the best version of ourselves because we think that that's the version that people will love. That's the version that people will praise. That's the version that people will want to be around. Nobody is that version of themselves. We are all sure we do good and we do well, but we also like mess up and are unsure and insecure and have a hard time.)
- Time 0:30:39
-