(highlight:: I’ve known for years that my feelings of creative inadequacy were because of my difficulties in ‘shipping’ or, in other words, execution.
Similarly to the way I imagine men feel about inadequate sexual performance, I felt ashamed that I couldn’t ‘perform’ better in the creative realm despite being exceptional at the idea, planning, and initial design phases. Given my history, I told myself I ‘should’ be better at creativity than I was.)
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- [note::Very relatable - I think my fear of failure causes anxiety/imposter syndrome, which leads me to either never start, never publish, or executive in a way that comes across as half-committed.]

As Helen Keller reminded me, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
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I casually mentioned my experience with ‘creative dysregulation, ' which I defined simply as the inability to sustainably and reliably create without a mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual crisis along the way.
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I have so many ideas but no clear direction on which one to pursue. It feels overwhelming, so I end up not doing anything at all.
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- [note::Analysis paralysis - also very relatable]

I keep comparing my work to others and it just doesn’t stack up. It feels like everything I create has already been done, and done better.
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- [note::Extremely relatable - or another dilemma: "I have a seemingly unique idea, but I'm not sure if it's worth it to pursue or I feel like I'm not the right person to pursue it"]

(highlight:: “What books do people recommend to others?”
The books they finish.)
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Creative dysregulation describes the inner imbalances that disrupt an individual’s ability to consistently engage with and execute their creative work. These disruptions hinder the fluidity, productivity, and fulfillment of the creative process, as well as one’s ability to see themselves as a successful creative.
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After I created my LLC, I became dysregulated trying to learn all of the things to optimize my business (website, offerings, SEO, social media, etc.). Everywhere I looked, someone was trying to tell me the best way to do everything. It was all too overwhelming. I stopped and started multiple times, always striving for perfection in all of these areas. I wasn’t comfortable with shipping or posting things when they were ‘good enough.’ Over time, I noticed my struggle with worthiness and started lashing out at my spouse (when they were just trying to support me). My creative dysregulation taught me that this path was teaching me how to love myself and heal old wounds from childhood. This was all happening as I was becoming a father too. Facing my inner battles, I knew I was becoming more resilient in the discomfort of the creative process while also learning who I truly am.
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- [note::Wow - someone else who struggles with worthiness and perfection. The abundance of information and best practices can be so paralyzing. Once you realize you can produce the "best" version of something, it makes you compelled to produce the "best" version of everything.]

Even when I managed to start, I faced another battle: the tension between structure and spontaneity. I prided myself on being organized, yet I was constantly lured away by the excitement of a “brilliant” detail. This oscillation between planning and being impulsively creative left my projects half-baked. Recognizing this pattern, I experimented with new methods to spark my motivation, like starting a newsletter to discipline my creative process. This shift, though small, began to crack the wall of my creative dysregulation, offering glimpses of what could be if I learned to navigate my creativity with a more balanced approach. This journey of self-discovery and adaptation taught me that creativity isn’t just about having ideas but nurturing and giving them life, one small, committed step at a time.
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- creativity, discipline, perseverance,

(highlight:: As I embarked on my quest for a project that was ‘more in alignment,’ I’d strike upon an idea and be overtaken by it. At times, jumping around and screaming with excitement, proclaiming, “I’ve found my purpose!” only to wake up a few days later and not give a damn or feel empty inside.
I was trapped in a cycle between extreme highs and debilitating lows. Lying to myself and others about my progress. Believing that this cycle was progress. It felt as though I could be diagnosed with ‘creative bipolar.’)
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(highlight:: Our nervous system has two main states: the sympathetic state, also known as the ‘fight or flight’ response, and the parasympathetic state, known as the ‘rest and digest’ response. In a healthy person, the two states should be balanced and easily shift from one to the other depending on external factors. However, in individuals with a history of trauma or chronic stress, this balance is often disrupted. As a result, their nervous systems have difficulty regulating emotions and responses to stressors. They become dysregulated.
The term seemed to fit perfectly, for it encapsulated the chaos that unfolded within me whenever I engaged in creative endeavors. As someone with a history of trauma and chronic stress, the fight-or-flight response of my nervous system mirrored the unpredictable swings in my creative output.)
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I identified eight core areas that play pivotal roles in our creative health: Mental, Emotional, Physical, Identity, Motivational, Logistical, Inherited, and Spiritual.
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What came to me was a wheel with eight spokes or sections (or a hot and steamy berry pie, if you prefer). From this, the Wheel of Creative Regulation emerged, highlighting a spectrum from dysregulation to regulation (queue dramatic music.
Think of a bicycle wheel. A balanced wheel ensures a seamless journey, a creative journey. When each spoke is healthy (regulated), the wheel can roll along smoothly. If any spoke is unhealthy (dysregulated), the wheel will be sad and limp along. If multiple spokes are unhealthy (dysregulated), the wheel will struggle to go anywhere at all. Merp.)
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- creative disregulation, balance, creativity,

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- creative disregulation,

(highlight:: Up until now, your pain has come from an avoidance of what’s actually happening. A denial of the truth and an unwillingness to stare directly at your stuff. As Robert Greene says in Mastery, “People are increasingly reluctant to tell each other the truth about themselves—their weaknesses, their inadequacies, flaws in their work.”
When we tell ourselves (and others) the truth about where we really are in our creative unfoldment journeys, we stand rooted in reality, not in some fantasy version of ourselves and life. This is the only place where we can be truly effective. As an Enneagram 4 who escapes reality through idealization, coming ‘down to Earth’ has been uncomfortable but necessary for me. When I claimed my creative dysregulation and took ownership of it, I became an empowered agent for healing and transforming it.)
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When you are ready, repeat the following statement out loud (read it to the book, your cat, the guy next to you at the coffee shop, or to a God-shaped figure you believe in.
Do it once to learn it, then do it again with passion, conviction, and chutzpah.

I (your name here) am ready to claim my creative journey. Until now, I have been experiencing creative dysregulation in the forms of ________ (insert which areas you need help in). I embrace that this is a part of my unique creative journey. I choose to see these obstacles as gifts along my path. I choose to see them as opportunities to learn, grow and evolve. By claiming them, I am ultimately declaring my commitment to creativity and all that it has to teach me. I am ready to clean up, grow up and show up in my unique creative gifts.)
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Think of creative regulation as the harmonious synchronization of our inner creative forces. It’s about having healthy expressions of your mental, emotional, physiological, motivational, identity, logistical, inherited, and spiritual facets. So that they support and enhance each other rather than undermine one another and, ultimately, your creativity.
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Achieving creative regulation isn’t about a sudden overhaul of your entire being. It’s a journey of small, intentional steps towards balance and harmony within your creative life.
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(highlight:: The mental aspect of creativity is about your mindset, mental blocks, and any cognitive barriers to creation. It’s everything that’s happening inside your head, and if your head is anything like mine, it can be a battlefield up there. Some ways this might manifest:
• Constant self-doubt and second-guessing every decision.
• Procrastination and avoidance of starting or finishing projects (often due to a fear of not meeting your or other people’s expectations).
• Fear of failure that stops healthy risk-taking or trying new, experimental endeavors.
• Debilitating negative self-talk and harsh internal criticism.
• Constructing elaborate fantasy worlds of creativity in the mind without taking actionable steps to realize these visions.)
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(highlight:: These mental hurdles often have deep roots, including:
• Deep-seated negative beliefs about one’s self-worth and abilities, often formed in response to childhood experiences.
• The lingering impact of past failures or critical feedback that reinforce self-doubt.
• Societal pressures and comparisons that set unrealistic standards of success and creativity, exacerbating feelings of inadequacy.)
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Explore Pennebakker Journaling: A research-backed expressive writing practice where you write about a stressful or emotional experience on four consecutive days for 15-20 minutes per session.
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Parts Work (Internal Family Systems): Parts work is a therapeutic way of communicating with your various ‘inner parts,’ such as your inner saboteur, your protectors, and your inner child. Embracing that you have many parts, many of which are polarizing and at odds with each other, is essential for reclaiming a sense of wholeness inside of you. Look for therapists trained in IFS (Internal Family Systems), or get a book and explore journaling prompts independently. It’s quite easy to do your own parts work once you know how it looks and feels.
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Consider the role of fear in your creative life. What are you most afraid of (e.g., failure, judgment, not being good enough)? Write a letter to your fear, acknowledging its presence and outlining how you plan to move forward despite it.
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(highlight:: Emotional dysregulation often stems from:
• Unprocessed emotions or past traumas impacting current emotional stability.
• Lack of healthy emotional outlets or coping mechanisms.
• High sensitivity to external validation or criticism.
• Emotional patterns learned in childhood that equate creativity with emotional turmoil.
• Emotional avoidance or erratic engagement due to fear of confronting deep-seated issues.)
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When your “emotional pipes” are clear and emotions can move through you cleanly, they will fuel incredible works of art and help you with your determination, conviction, and confidence. Where emotions become detrimental to the creative process is when they inhibit the very act of creating itself (as exemplified above). With emotional regulation, you can leverage the power of your emotions to create beautiful things without self-destructing the project, yourself as the creator, or the systems you’ve designed to support your creativity.
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Meet with a Somatic Therapist: If the resources are available, consider looking for a therapist trained in a body-based modality such as somatic experiencing, Hakomi, or EMDR. Working with a professional will help to create sufficient embodied safety for the deeper emotions to surface and be integrated.
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- 1action, therapy, interoception,

(highlight:: lack of sleep, poor nutrition, minimal physical activity, a dysregulated nervous system, and/or chronic stress can all lead to compromised creative capacity. This may look like:
• Chronic fatigue due to overriding your need for rest.
• Eating poorly, quickly, or erratically when in the creative process.
• Neglecting your needs for physical activity and workouts because creativity is more important (impacting mood, motivation & focus).
• Relying on substances (caffeine, alcohol, drugs) to boost creative energy in the short-term.
• Ignoring your body’s signals for rest and recovery, pushing beyond healthy limits.)
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(highlight:: The roots of physiological dysregulation often lie in:
• A culture that romanticizes the “tortured artist” archetype, neglecting the importance of physical health in the creative process.
• Misunderstanding the relationship between physical well-being and mental/emotional health, which then impacts creativity.
• Prioritizing productivity over health, fueled by societal pressures or personal expectations.
• Living predominately from the mind and not inhabiting the body, creating a disembodied approach to creativity.)
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Daily Non-Sleep-Deep-Rest (NSDR): This is a form of ‘active rest’ (akin to a guided power nap) will increase your nervous system’s capacity to access states of deep relaxation and rejuvenation after creative output or stress (free guided NSDRs can be found on Youtube). I do an NSDR practice every afternoon during my ‘afternoon slump,’ which buys me at least a few more hours of output after a big morning.
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Shift Your State: Practices like ice baths, hot saunas, and breathwork can drastically alter physiological and mental states, building physiological resilience and creating the conditions for creative breakthroughs. If you view your body like the vessel that holds your creativity, you want to make it as resilient, strong, and supple as possible.
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Move Every Day…Seriously: Regular physical exercise (ideally outside in nature) will do wonders for your creativity, especially if you’re someone who struggles with mental and emotional dysregulation as well. I suggest everyone have a strength training program where they lift heavy weights a few times per week and engage in mild activities like walking and stretching daily. Your mood, energy, and confidence will improve dramatically.
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(highlight:: Identity creative dysregulation can manifest as:
• Feeling like an imposter in the creative world, doubting your right to create in the first place and placing other creative people on pedestals.
• Creating inauthentically because you struggle to define yourself beyond societal labels and expectations (e.g. being the good girl/boy).
• Projecting an image out in the world that you think will earn you love, respect, attention, and acceptance.
• A rigid self-concept that rejects evolving interests or new creative pursuits, making it difficult to reinvent yourself or take risks.
• Allowing your identity to become too closely tied with creative output, equating your work with your personal worth.)
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(highlight:: The roots of identity issues often stem from:
• Early conditioning that values certain forms of creativity over others, leading to a narrow view of what it means to be creative.
• Cultural and societal norms that dictate who can be considered a “true artist,” imposing unnecessary boundaries on creative identity.
• Personal experiences of rejection or criticism that shape one’s belief about what is creatively acceptable or valued.
• Being born into a family that did not foster your creative identity, thus creating a confusing sense of self (more on this in Inherited).)
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Contemplate the impact of societal labels on your creativity. Which labels have you internalized, and how can you release or redefine them to better suit your creative identity?
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- identity, creativity,

Motivational creative dysregulation occurs when you cannot sustain the drive, energy, and tenacity needed to see a project through to completion. Oftentimes, this is because of a lack of intrinsic motivation, unclear goals, or external factors that demotivate you
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(highlight:: This type of dysregulation may look like:
• Starting projects with enthusiasm that quickly fades.
• Lack of intrinsic motivation, relying heavily on external validation.
• Difficulty in maintaining interest in long-term projects or goals.
• Jumping from idea to idea without completing anything.
• Starting projects to prove your worth, value, or uniqueness.)
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(highlight:: Motivational dysregulation in creativity often arises from:
• Committing to a project that is not aligned with your intrinsic interests, talents and/or skills.
• Past difficult or failed experiences that have compounded and altered your perception of creating, leading you to fear, avoid, or feel indifferent about future projects.
• A history of striving for first place, gold stars, straight As, or other external, systemic markers of success and ‘goodness’ (e.g., high-achieving in school, at home, and early work experiences).
• A history of people pleasing to parents, teachers, friends, and other authority figures or those you place on pedestals above you.
• Prioritizing external success metrics, like money, status, fame, popularity, virality, trendiness, followers, being influential, etc., over your intrinsic joy, satisfaction, and curiosity.)
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I find it best to consistently check in with myself as I’m creating on where my motivation is coming from (it is fluid and can change) with a question like, “What is driving me right now to create?” If I find myself hijacked by external influences or internalized ‘shoulds,’ I slow down and recalibrate.
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Get Clear on Your Why(s): Before you begin your next project, take some time to articulate and clarify why you’re doing it in the first place. I recommend having at least one self-centered why and at least one service-based why. This means you are clarifying why this matters to you and why it matters to others. If you only focus on yourself, what you create may lack resonance with others, and if you only focus on them, what you create may lack resonance with you.
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Conduct a Joy Audit. Out of all your tasks associated with creating, how much of them bring a sense of joy, pleasure, and/or flow? How can you tip the scales toward more joy and less non-joy tasks?
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- [note::Similar to energy audit e.g. identifying your restorative and depletive tasks]

(highlight:: It might look like:
• Difficulty prioritizing tasks and bouncing around different ones without ever getting into a phase of deep work.
• Overcommitting to projects without realistic plans for completion.
• Difficulty in systematically choosing, developing and executing ideas.
• Disorganization and clutter in your physical or digital workspace, leading to energetic overwhelm or feeling confused.
• Poor time and energy management, leading to overworking and burnout.)
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(highlight:: Logistical dysregulation in creativity may arise from:
• A lack of clear systems or routines that support the creative process, causing you to be erratic, spontaneous and undisciplined in your work.
• Underdeveloped organizational skills and difficulty sticking to any organizational principles (e.g., you never really sure where the pens go).
• The myth of the chaotic genius romanticizing disorganization and chaos as part of the creative process.)
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Write about your ideal creative workspace. How does it differ from your current setup, and what steps can you take to create an environment that inspires you?
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(highlight:: If you’re dysregulated within inherited, you might experience things like:
• Internalized beliefs that devalue or discourage creative pursuits, leading to self-doubt and inhibition.
• Feeling constrained by the expectations or judgments of family and society regarding creativity.
• Subconscious blocks inherited from previous generations’ unresolved creative traumas or unrealized dreams (often parading as your blocks but closely resembling that of your parents or someone else in your family).
• Replicating patterns of avoidance, self-sabotage, or bad habits seen in family members you grew up around.
• Struggling to find your authentic creative voice for fear of being disowned by your biological family or your wider culture.)
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If you feel an overwhelming sense of ‘should’ inside of you, you most likely have inherited someone else’s standard along the way.
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Whenever you notice that you’re operating on a script that’s not yours, say, “I officially release the story that (insert limiting story) and in its place, I welcome the life-giving story that (insert new story). This new story is effective immediately. So it is.”
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Explore any creative beliefs or patterns inherited from your family. How do they serve or hinder your creativity, and how can you evolve beyond them?
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Identify a cultural or familial narrative about creativity that you’ve internalized. How does it align with your personal experience and values, and how can you redefine it for yourself?
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Consider the impact of your ancestors’ unfulfilled creative dreams or traumas on your own creative expression. How can you honor these while forging your own creative path?
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- creative expression,

(highlight:: If you’re experiencing spiritual dysregulation, you might:
• Create work that lacks a personal connection or deeper meaning.
• Feel existentially lost and unsure about who you truly are and what you’re meant to do with your life.
• Over-identify with your creative projects without recognizing the spiritual source of inspiration.
• Pursue projects more for external accolades than for intrinsic satisfaction.
• Experience a void or emptiness, even after creative success.)
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Clarify Your Creative North Star: Get clear on your top three values in life and ensure that your creative projects resonate with these. Remember that there will likely always be trade-offs and that these can evolve as you learn more about yourself and what truly matters on a personal and spiritual level.
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Reflect on the deeper purpose or meaning behind your creativity. How can you more closely align your creative endeavors with this sense of purpose?
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Write about a time when your creativity felt disconnected from your spiritual or core values. What caused this disconnection, and how can you prevent it in the future?
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Contemplate your creative legacy. What spiritual values or messages do you hope to convey through your work, and how can you more intentionally infuse these into your creations?
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Implement the 80/20 Creative Alignment Experiment in your next project. Plan it so that 80% of the tasks involved play to your established strengths, talents, and genius (make sure most of this brings you joy, too). The remaining 20% should be reserved for new skills or areas you wish to explore and develop. This doesn’t just apply to the types of tasks but also to the energy and time you allocate to them. Be intentional about distinguishing between what’s familiar and what’s new, ensuring that the bulk of your project capitalizes on your existing capabilities while still pushing your boundaries in a manageable way.
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If you’re like me, you love to hide in your creative cave, perfecting every detail of your projects before revealing them to the world on a gold platter. You love to envision the moment you share your creative baby with the world, and the sky erupts in fireworks and glitter. You would prefer to be like the mad scientist in the basement frantically working away, asking your partner/mom/roommate to bring you food and leave it at the door. The idea of letting people into the mess before it’s done seems absurd. And yet, I want you to do it.
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When I reflected on all of my past ‘failures,’ one of the commonalities was that I worked so hard in isolation only to feel disappointed by the response from others when it was revealed. There was such a mismatch in what I put out versus what I received that I felt slapped by the Universe. Didn’t they know how hard I worked— how many hours and all the inner turmoil— it took to get here?
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My creative self-esteem was overly attached to the response of a launch or showing.
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Trust me when I say people want to be let in. They want to champion your work, not just celebrate the gold platter delivery at the end. Help them feel involved, and they will be 100 times more committed to you and your success.
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Adopt the mindset that every creative project is an experiment, not a make-or-break venture. This means setting clear but flexible deadlines or milestones for “shipping” your project — getting it out into the world without needing it to be ‘right’ or ‘perfect.’ After reaching your set milestone or timeline, give yourself the freedom to either continue, pivot, or quit the project based on the insights you’ve gained. Reflect on each project, successful or not, as a learning opportunity, drawing lessons from both the process and the outcome.
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As someone who has really struggled with the ‘Identity’ and ‘Inherited’ aspects of dysregulation, it’s been a journey to give myself permission to be my weird self out in the world. Even through the process of writing this book, I had to keep reminding myself it was okay (and actually better) to use my real tone of voice and not my conditioned research-paper voice from school (sorry if you noticed any boring writing style in here).
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In short, let your freak flag fly. It’ll feel profoundly liberating.
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- [note::Bahahaha]

Dive into your archive of unfinished, stalled, or “failed” projects. Instead of deleting them or letting them linger in obscurity, take a moment to honor each one. You can even do this with projects you view as ‘successful’ but are ready to put behind you (maybe they represent a creative chapter that’s ending). Write a brief eulogy for each project, acknowledging its purpose, what it taught you, and why it’s time to let it go. If you’re feeling particularly ceremonial, you could even create a small ritual—light a candle, say a few words, or play a song that encapsulates your mood.
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Every project, regardless of its outcome, is a step in your creative journey— the journey of truly knowing yourself. By honoring these creative attempts, you acknowledge your growth and courage while continuing to say yes to your unique path.
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(highlight:: I’ve known for years that my feelings of creative inadequacy were because of my difficulties in ‘shipping’ or, in other words, execution.
Similarly to the way I imagine men feel about inadequate sexual performance, I felt ashamed that I couldn’t ‘perform’ better in the creative realm despite being exceptional at the idea, planning, and initial design phases. Given my history, I told myself I ‘should’ be better at creativity than I was.)
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- [note::Very relatable - I think my fear of failure causes anxiety/imposter syndrome, which leads me to either never start, never publish, or executive in a way that comes across as half-committed.]

As Helen Keller reminded me, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
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I casually mentioned my experience with ‘creative dysregulation, ' which I defined simply as the inability to sustainably and reliably create without a mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual crisis along the way.
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I have so many ideas but no clear direction on which one to pursue. It feels overwhelming, so I end up not doing anything at all.
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- [note::Analysis paralysis - also very relatable]

I keep comparing my work to others and it just doesn’t stack up. It feels like everything I create has already been done, and done better.
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- [note::Extremely relatable - or another dilemma: "I have a seemingly unique idea, but I'm not sure if it's worth it to pursue or I feel like I'm not the right person to pursue it"]

(highlight:: “What books do people recommend to others?”
The books they finish.)
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Creative dysregulation describes the inner imbalances that disrupt an individual’s ability to consistently engage with and execute their creative work. These disruptions hinder the fluidity, productivity, and fulfillment of the creative process, as well as one’s ability to see themselves as a successful creative.
- View Highlight
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After I created my LLC, I became dysregulated trying to learn all of the things to optimize my business (website, offerings, SEO, social media, etc.). Everywhere I looked, someone was trying to tell me the best way to do everything. It was all too overwhelming. I stopped and started multiple times, always striving for perfection in all of these areas. I wasn’t comfortable with shipping or posting things when they were ‘good enough.’ Over time, I noticed my struggle with worthiness and started lashing out at my spouse (when they were just trying to support me). My creative dysregulation taught me that this path was teaching me how to love myself and heal old wounds from childhood. This was all happening as I was becoming a father too. Facing my inner battles, I knew I was becoming more resilient in the discomfort of the creative process while also learning who I truly am.
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- [note::Wow - someone else who struggles with worthiness and perfection. The abundance of information and best practices can be so paralyzing. Once you realize you can produce the "best" version of something, it makes you compelled to produce the "best" version of everything.]

Even when I managed to start, I faced another battle: the tension between structure and spontaneity. I prided myself on being organized, yet I was constantly lured away by the excitement of a “brilliant” detail. This oscillation between planning and being impulsively creative left my projects half-baked. Recognizing this pattern, I experimented with new methods to spark my motivation, like starting a newsletter to discipline my creative process. This shift, though small, began to crack the wall of my creative dysregulation, offering glimpses of what could be if I learned to navigate my creativity with a more balanced approach. This journey of self-discovery and adaptation taught me that creativity isn’t just about having ideas but nurturing and giving them life, one small, committed step at a time.
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- creativity, discipline, perseverance,

(highlight:: As I embarked on my quest for a project that was ‘more in alignment,’ I’d strike upon an idea and be overtaken by it. At times, jumping around and screaming with excitement, proclaiming, “I’ve found my purpose!” only to wake up a few days later and not give a damn or feel empty inside.
I was trapped in a cycle between extreme highs and debilitating lows. Lying to myself and others about my progress. Believing that this cycle was progress. It felt as though I could be diagnosed with ‘creative bipolar.’)
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(highlight:: Our nervous system has two main states: the sympathetic state, also known as the ‘fight or flight’ response, and the parasympathetic state, known as the ‘rest and digest’ response. In a healthy person, the two states should be balanced and easily shift from one to the other depending on external factors. However, in individuals with a history of trauma or chronic stress, this balance is often disrupted. As a result, their nervous systems have difficulty regulating emotions and responses to stressors. They become dysregulated.
The term seemed to fit perfectly, for it encapsulated the chaos that unfolded within me whenever I engaged in creative endeavors. As someone with a history of trauma and chronic stress, the fight-or-flight response of my nervous system mirrored the unpredictable swings in my creative output.)
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I identified eight core areas that play pivotal roles in our creative health: Mental, Emotional, Physical, Identity, Motivational, Logistical, Inherited, and Spiritual.
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What came to me was a wheel with eight spokes or sections (or a hot and steamy berry pie, if you prefer). From this, the Wheel of Creative Regulation emerged, highlighting a spectrum from dysregulation to regulation (queue dramatic music.
Think of a bicycle wheel. A balanced wheel ensures a seamless journey, a creative journey. When each spoke is healthy (regulated), the wheel can roll along smoothly. If any spoke is unhealthy (dysregulated), the wheel will be sad and limp along. If multiple spokes are unhealthy (dysregulated), the wheel will struggle to go anywhere at all. Merp.)
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- creative disregulation, balance, creativity,

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- creative disregulation,

(highlight:: Up until now, your pain has come from an avoidance of what’s actually happening. A denial of the truth and an unwillingness to stare directly at your stuff. As Robert Greene says in Mastery, “People are increasingly reluctant to tell each other the truth about themselves—their weaknesses, their inadequacies, flaws in their work.”
When we tell ourselves (and others) the truth about where we really are in our creative unfoldment journeys, we stand rooted in reality, not in some fantasy version of ourselves and life. This is the only place where we can be truly effective. As an Enneagram 4 who escapes reality through idealization, coming ‘down to Earth’ has been uncomfortable but necessary for me. When I claimed my creative dysregulation and took ownership of it, I became an empowered agent for healing and transforming it.)
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When you are ready, repeat the following statement out loud (read it to the book, your cat, the guy next to you at the coffee shop, or to a God-shaped figure you believe in.
Do it once to learn it, then do it again with passion, conviction, and chutzpah.

I (your name here) am ready to claim my creative journey. Until now, I have been experiencing creative dysregulation in the forms of ________ (insert which areas you need help in). I embrace that this is a part of my unique creative journey. I choose to see these obstacles as gifts along my path. I choose to see them as opportunities to learn, grow and evolve. By claiming them, I am ultimately declaring my commitment to creativity and all that it has to teach me. I am ready to clean up, grow up and show up in my unique creative gifts.)
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Think of creative regulation as the harmonious synchronization of our inner creative forces. It’s about having healthy expressions of your mental, emotional, physiological, motivational, identity, logistical, inherited, and spiritual facets. So that they support and enhance each other rather than undermine one another and, ultimately, your creativity.
- View Highlight
-

Achieving creative regulation isn’t about a sudden overhaul of your entire being. It’s a journey of small, intentional steps towards balance and harmony within your creative life.
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(highlight:: The mental aspect of creativity is about your mindset, mental blocks, and any cognitive barriers to creation. It’s everything that’s happening inside your head, and if your head is anything like mine, it can be a battlefield up there. Some ways this might manifest:
• Constant self-doubt and second-guessing every decision.
• Procrastination and avoidance of starting or finishing projects (often due to a fear of not meeting your or other people’s expectations).
• Fear of failure that stops healthy risk-taking or trying new, experimental endeavors.
• Debilitating negative self-talk and harsh internal criticism.
• Constructing elaborate fantasy worlds of creativity in the mind without taking actionable steps to realize these visions.)
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(highlight:: These mental hurdles often have deep roots, including:
• Deep-seated negative beliefs about one’s self-worth and abilities, often formed in response to childhood experiences.
• The lingering impact of past failures or critical feedback that reinforce self-doubt.
• Societal pressures and comparisons that set unrealistic standards of success and creativity, exacerbating feelings of inadequacy.)
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Explore Pennebakker Journaling: A research-backed expressive writing practice where you write about a stressful or emotional experience on four consecutive days for 15-20 minutes per session.
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Parts Work (Internal Family Systems): Parts work is a therapeutic way of communicating with your various ‘inner parts,’ such as your inner saboteur, your protectors, and your inner child. Embracing that you have many parts, many of which are polarizing and at odds with each other, is essential for reclaiming a sense of wholeness inside of you. Look for therapists trained in IFS (Internal Family Systems), or get a book and explore journaling prompts independently. It’s quite easy to do your own parts work once you know how it looks and feels.
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Consider the role of fear in your creative life. What are you most afraid of (e.g., failure, judgment, not being good enough)? Write a letter to your fear, acknowledging its presence and outlining how you plan to move forward despite it.
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(highlight:: Emotional dysregulation often stems from:
• Unprocessed emotions or past traumas impacting current emotional stability.
• Lack of healthy emotional outlets or coping mechanisms.
• High sensitivity to external validation or criticism.
• Emotional patterns learned in childhood that equate creativity with emotional turmoil.
• Emotional avoidance or erratic engagement due to fear of confronting deep-seated issues.)
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When your “emotional pipes” are clear and emotions can move through you cleanly, they will fuel incredible works of art and help you with your determination, conviction, and confidence. Where emotions become detrimental to the creative process is when they inhibit the very act of creating itself (as exemplified above). With emotional regulation, you can leverage the power of your emotions to create beautiful things without self-destructing the project, yourself as the creator, or the systems you’ve designed to support your creativity.
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Meet with a Somatic Therapist: If the resources are available, consider looking for a therapist trained in a body-based modality such as somatic experiencing, Hakomi, or EMDR. Working with a professional will help to create sufficient embodied safety for the deeper emotions to surface and be integrated.
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- 1action, therapy, interoception,

(highlight:: lack of sleep, poor nutrition, minimal physical activity, a dysregulated nervous system, and/or chronic stress can all lead to compromised creative capacity. This may look like:
• Chronic fatigue due to overriding your need for rest.
• Eating poorly, quickly, or erratically when in the creative process.
• Neglecting your needs for physical activity and workouts because creativity is more important (impacting mood, motivation & focus).
• Relying on substances (caffeine, alcohol, drugs) to boost creative energy in the short-term.
• Ignoring your body’s signals for rest and recovery, pushing beyond healthy limits.)
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(highlight:: The roots of physiological dysregulation often lie in:
• A culture that romanticizes the “tortured artist” archetype, neglecting the importance of physical health in the creative process.
• Misunderstanding the relationship between physical well-being and mental/emotional health, which then impacts creativity.
• Prioritizing productivity over health, fueled by societal pressures or personal expectations.
• Living predominately from the mind and not inhabiting the body, creating a disembodied approach to creativity.)
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Daily Non-Sleep-Deep-Rest (NSDR): This is a form of ‘active rest’ (akin to a guided power nap) will increase your nervous system’s capacity to access states of deep relaxation and rejuvenation after creative output or stress (free guided NSDRs can be found on Youtube). I do an NSDR practice every afternoon during my ‘afternoon slump,’ which buys me at least a few more hours of output after a big morning.
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Shift Your State: Practices like ice baths, hot saunas, and breathwork can drastically alter physiological and mental states, building physiological resilience and creating the conditions for creative breakthroughs. If you view your body like the vessel that holds your creativity, you want to make it as resilient, strong, and supple as possible.
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Move Every Day…Seriously: Regular physical exercise (ideally outside in nature) will do wonders for your creativity, especially if you’re someone who struggles with mental and emotional dysregulation as well. I suggest everyone have a strength training program where they lift heavy weights a few times per week and engage in mild activities like walking and stretching daily. Your mood, energy, and confidence will improve dramatically.
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(highlight:: Identity creative dysregulation can manifest as:
• Feeling like an imposter in the creative world, doubting your right to create in the first place and placing other creative people on pedestals.
• Creating inauthentically because you struggle to define yourself beyond societal labels and expectations (e.g. being the good girl/boy).
• Projecting an image out in the world that you think will earn you love, respect, attention, and acceptance.
• A rigid self-concept that rejects evolving interests or new creative pursuits, making it difficult to reinvent yourself or take risks.
• Allowing your identity to become too closely tied with creative output, equating your work with your personal worth.)
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(highlight:: The roots of identity issues often stem from:
• Early conditioning that values certain forms of creativity over others, leading to a narrow view of what it means to be creative.
• Cultural and societal norms that dictate who can be considered a “true artist,” imposing unnecessary boundaries on creative identity.
• Personal experiences of rejection or criticism that shape one’s belief about what is creatively acceptable or valued.
• Being born into a family that did not foster your creative identity, thus creating a confusing sense of self (more on this in Inherited).)
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Contemplate the impact of societal labels on your creativity. Which labels have you internalized, and how can you release or redefine them to better suit your creative identity?
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- identity, creativity,

Motivational creative dysregulation occurs when you cannot sustain the drive, energy, and tenacity needed to see a project through to completion. Oftentimes, this is because of a lack of intrinsic motivation, unclear goals, or external factors that demotivate you
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(highlight:: This type of dysregulation may look like:
• Starting projects with enthusiasm that quickly fades.
• Lack of intrinsic motivation, relying heavily on external validation.
• Difficulty in maintaining interest in long-term projects or goals.
• Jumping from idea to idea without completing anything.
• Starting projects to prove your worth, value, or uniqueness.)
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(highlight:: Motivational dysregulation in creativity often arises from:
• Committing to a project that is not aligned with your intrinsic interests, talents and/or skills.
• Past difficult or failed experiences that have compounded and altered your perception of creating, leading you to fear, avoid, or feel indifferent about future projects.
• A history of striving for first place, gold stars, straight As, or other external, systemic markers of success and ‘goodness’ (e.g., high-achieving in school, at home, and early work experiences).
• A history of people pleasing to parents, teachers, friends, and other authority figures or those you place on pedestals above you.
• Prioritizing external success metrics, like money, status, fame, popularity, virality, trendiness, followers, being influential, etc., over your intrinsic joy, satisfaction, and curiosity.)
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I find it best to consistently check in with myself as I’m creating on where my motivation is coming from (it is fluid and can change) with a question like, “What is driving me right now to create?” If I find myself hijacked by external influences or internalized ‘shoulds,’ I slow down and recalibrate.
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Get Clear on Your Why(s): Before you begin your next project, take some time to articulate and clarify why you’re doing it in the first place. I recommend having at least one self-centered why and at least one service-based why. This means you are clarifying why this matters to you and why it matters to others. If you only focus on yourself, what you create may lack resonance with others, and if you only focus on them, what you create may lack resonance with you.
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Conduct a Joy Audit. Out of all your tasks associated with creating, how much of them bring a sense of joy, pleasure, and/or flow? How can you tip the scales toward more joy and less non-joy tasks?
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- [note::Similar to energy audit e.g. identifying your restorative and depletive tasks]

(highlight:: It might look like:
• Difficulty prioritizing tasks and bouncing around different ones without ever getting into a phase of deep work.
• Overcommitting to projects without realistic plans for completion.
• Difficulty in systematically choosing, developing and executing ideas.
• Disorganization and clutter in your physical or digital workspace, leading to energetic overwhelm or feeling confused.
• Poor time and energy management, leading to overworking and burnout.)
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(highlight:: Logistical dysregulation in creativity may arise from:
• A lack of clear systems or routines that support the creative process, causing you to be erratic, spontaneous and undisciplined in your work.
• Underdeveloped organizational skills and difficulty sticking to any organizational principles (e.g., you never really sure where the pens go).
• The myth of the chaotic genius romanticizing disorganization and chaos as part of the creative process.)
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Write about your ideal creative workspace. How does it differ from your current setup, and what steps can you take to create an environment that inspires you?
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(highlight:: If you’re dysregulated within inherited, you might experience things like:
• Internalized beliefs that devalue or discourage creative pursuits, leading to self-doubt and inhibition.
• Feeling constrained by the expectations or judgments of family and society regarding creativity.
• Subconscious blocks inherited from previous generations’ unresolved creative traumas or unrealized dreams (often parading as your blocks but closely resembling that of your parents or someone else in your family).
• Replicating patterns of avoidance, self-sabotage, or bad habits seen in family members you grew up around.
• Struggling to find your authentic creative voice for fear of being disowned by your biological family or your wider culture.)
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If you feel an overwhelming sense of ‘should’ inside of you, you most likely have inherited someone else’s standard along the way.
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Whenever you notice that you’re operating on a script that’s not yours, say, “I officially release the story that (insert limiting story) and in its place, I welcome the life-giving story that (insert new story). This new story is effective immediately. So it is.”
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Explore any creative beliefs or patterns inherited from your family. How do they serve or hinder your creativity, and how can you evolve beyond them?
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Identify a cultural or familial narrative about creativity that you’ve internalized. How does it align with your personal experience and values, and how can you redefine it for yourself?
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Consider the impact of your ancestors’ unfulfilled creative dreams or traumas on your own creative expression. How can you honor these while forging your own creative path?
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(highlight:: If you’re experiencing spiritual dysregulation, you might:
• Create work that lacks a personal connection or deeper meaning.
• Feel existentially lost and unsure about who you truly are and what you’re meant to do with your life.
• Over-identify with your creative projects without recognizing the spiritual source of inspiration.
• Pursue projects more for external accolades than for intrinsic satisfaction.
• Experience a void or emptiness, even after creative success.)
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Clarify Your Creative North Star: Get clear on your top three values in life and ensure that your creative projects resonate with these. Remember that there will likely always be trade-offs and that these can evolve as you learn more about yourself and what truly matters on a personal and spiritual level.
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Reflect on the deeper purpose or meaning behind your creativity. How can you more closely align your creative endeavors with this sense of purpose?
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Write about a time when your creativity felt disconnected from your spiritual or core values. What caused this disconnection, and how can you prevent it in the future?
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Contemplate your creative legacy. What spiritual values or messages do you hope to convey through your work, and how can you more intentionally infuse these into your creations?
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Implement the 80/20 Creative Alignment Experiment in your next project. Plan it so that 80% of the tasks involved play to your established strengths, talents, and genius (make sure most of this brings you joy, too). The remaining 20% should be reserved for new skills or areas you wish to explore and develop. This doesn’t just apply to the types of tasks but also to the energy and time you allocate to them. Be intentional about distinguishing between what’s familiar and what’s new, ensuring that the bulk of your project capitalizes on your existing capabilities while still pushing your boundaries in a manageable way.
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If you’re like me, you love to hide in your creative cave, perfecting every detail of your projects before revealing them to the world on a gold platter. You love to envision the moment you share your creative baby with the world, and the sky erupts in fireworks and glitter. You would prefer to be like the mad scientist in the basement frantically working away, asking your partner/mom/roommate to bring you food and leave it at the door. The idea of letting people into the mess before it’s done seems absurd. And yet, I want you to do it.
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When I reflected on all of my past ‘failures,’ one of the commonalities was that I worked so hard in isolation only to feel disappointed by the response from others when it was revealed. There was such a mismatch in what I put out versus what I received that I felt slapped by the Universe. Didn’t they know how hard I worked— how many hours and all the inner turmoil— it took to get here?
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My creative self-esteem was overly attached to the response of a launch or showing.
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Trust me when I say people want to be let in. They want to champion your work, not just celebrate the gold platter delivery at the end. Help them feel involved, and they will be 100 times more committed to you and your success.
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Adopt the mindset that every creative project is an experiment, not a make-or-break venture. This means setting clear but flexible deadlines or milestones for “shipping” your project — getting it out into the world without needing it to be ‘right’ or ‘perfect.’ After reaching your set milestone or timeline, give yourself the freedom to either continue, pivot, or quit the project based on the insights you’ve gained. Reflect on each project, successful or not, as a learning opportunity, drawing lessons from both the process and the outcome.
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As someone who has really struggled with the ‘Identity’ and ‘Inherited’ aspects of dysregulation, it’s been a journey to give myself permission to be my weird self out in the world. Even through the process of writing this book, I had to keep reminding myself it was okay (and actually better) to use my real tone of voice and not my conditioned research-paper voice from school (sorry if you noticed any boring writing style in here).
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In short, let your freak flag fly. It’ll feel profoundly liberating.
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Dive into your archive of unfinished, stalled, or “failed” projects. Instead of deleting them or letting them linger in obscurity, take a moment to honor each one. You can even do this with projects you view as ‘successful’ but are ready to put behind you (maybe they represent a creative chapter that’s ending). Write a brief eulogy for each project, acknowledging its purpose, what it taught you, and why it’s time to let it go. If you’re feeling particularly ceremonial, you could even create a small ritual—light a candle, say a few words, or play a song that encapsulates your mood.
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Every project, regardless of its outcome, is a step in your creative journey— the journey of truly knowing yourself. By honoring these creative attempts, you acknowledge your growth and courage while continuing to say yes to your unique path.
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