(highlight:: If the person with ADHD is not actively working with you to create systems that minimize the impact of their ADHD on your relationship and you are left “filling in the blanks,” then, no, it’s not going to get better.
My first recommendation would be that you stop filling in the blanks entirely.
Take care of yourself, and only do the tasks you would do anyway if you were alone.
Don’t nag, don’t parent. Put YOURSELF first.
Experiment with not expecting anything whatsoever from your partner for your own wellbeing. Make it so it will be “okay” if they don’t come through for you.
Many many people with ADHD had parents that filled in too many blanks for them, and they never had to face their symptoms in real time.
Sometimes, when you stop parenting, the person with ADHD will actually start to experience the kind of consequences they need to experience to realize they need to change things.
This may result in a less tense relationship between you two.
All that being said, you need a partner that provides the support, teamwork, and love that matches your needs. There is nothing wrong with realizing you’re not a match. You can’t change who the other person is.
Take care!)
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