(highlight:: Thank you for this. You explained what I meant quite well.
My partner, in the past, has used his ADHD as an excuse. He doesn’t anymore. This post isn’t about him but I did use him as an example as to how ADHD can cause someone to be toxic and neglectful toward their partner.
People on social media (including Reddit) seem unwilling to acknowledge that ADHD can cause someone to behave in a toxic way and that someone who has ADHD is responsible for finding ways to mitigate that damage.
If I bring up ADHD on Reddit the automatic response is for people to start commenting and saying “oh it’s so hard” and people start circlejerking about “no one understands us no one gets it we can’t do this we can’t do that.”
If I mention that my husband has ADHD the automatic response by others is to place him in the “victim” role and throw sympathy his way and it’s causing me to feel resentment because society (or at least my generation) seems to view people with ADHD as perpetual victims and any toxic behavior is automatically written off as “oh that’s not ADHD that’s just being an asshole!”
No. It’s ADHD. And my husband has to work hard not to be an asshole because of it. And it sucks for him but it also sucks for me too.)
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