(highlight:: I know it's hard, but you simply cannot take the bait when it comes to these circular arguments. Conflict is stimulating and untreated ADHD craves constant stimulation. It may not even be intentional but whether he realizes it or not, he enjoys getting you to fight.
But that behavior is incredibly harmful to a relationship so you can do your part by refusing to participate. Unless it's a very important subject (and let's face it, 85% of interactions aren't really that important) just say "okay" and move on. Let him be wrong, he won't accept you being right anyway.
An emotional reaction is fuel to the fire of understimulation. So we need to stop giving them one.
Do they ever have the hindsight to realize how fruitless and meaningless and petty the arguments they pick are?
With treatment and very clear boundaries, yes it can get better. Many can have that "ah-ha!" moment with the help of behavioral therapy and coaching. Most will not reach any epiphanies on their own or with medication only however.
He needs to be diagnosed and treated. Nothing will change without those first steps)
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