Wife Categorically Refuses Sex but Still Wants to Cuddle. Very Frustrating.

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Book cover of "Wife Categorically Refuses Sex but Still Wants to Cuddle. Very Frustrating."

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Deactivate the prick tease power. Take only the cuddles you want, decline the others. Still initiate, but don't act defensive if she declines. Let her wonder why you can take it or leave it. Work on you for you, not for her. I told my wife I was taking care of myself, which made her oddly insecure. Give your pet attention. They show unconditional reciprocation. Be nice to your kids and to everyone else. Buy some ridiculous underwear and wait for her to ask why you dont wear it for her. Change your cologne. Remove your spouse's ability to take your dignity. When ladies start looking at you at the Dunkin Donuts, Whole Foods, daycare, she'll get the idea she should start paying attention. My wife has to have cuddling, and when she knew what it felt like to get rejected, it hurt for a bit, but she started to get it. Finally, your "moves" may be more subtle than you think. Tell her what you want in clear terms and make her say no. Later, there wont be a defense that she misunderstood what you wanted. Send suggestive and unambiguous texts that you want oto $&**. By the way, none of this has brought 2x-3x week sex, just modest improvement, but you will feel a lot better about yourself. YMMV.
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You're enabling your own DB by being an emotional dumping ground for her. You're cannibalizing your own needs for hers. You need to stop, it's going to destroy you.
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(highlight:: My biggest issue is when he's drunk and starts making moves on me when I'm tired and just want to go back to sleep. I know this might sound like something to be envied if you're getting absolute zero sex, but it's actually worse and makes me feel used. If he just wanted to cuddle, I would feel more like he's trying, instead of just keeping me the dresser like a dildo.
I should clarify that my case isn't like yours and this isn't the attitude you should have. Her cuddling is to you what my SO's sad midnight handjobs are to me.)
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(highlight:: Obviously she did. This is how the script goes. It doesn't matter in the end that she pulled away first, which consequently made you pull away. Most people will concoct the story to make them the good guy. That's how it goes. I was just saying in another thread that this is why the HL partner gets shamed so much from the LL partner. If you break up with them, then you are just the stereotypical man pig who only wants sex out of relationships.
I'm sure you know this, but in the end you just have to not care. Who cares what story she tells to everybody. The people who matter to you will back you and know your side as well. All her friends will agree that you are a sex addict who broke up with her to get your rocks off with other women, or whatever. If you are at the point of leaving, none of that matters. If you aren't trying to salvage the relationship, who cares who 'wins'. You are going off to start again and try and live a more content life with someone who is actually attracted to you and won't make you feel undesirable every day. That's all that matters. She can have a victim pity party all she wants.)
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