(highlight:: I agree that emotional unrest in a relationship is a justifiable and common cause for a lack of sex drive, rather than it being a matter of deliberate action.
I disagree with the characterization of the desire for sex being an “entitlement”. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I’m going to want to have sex with them, and I would hope that they would want to have sex with me. Otherwise, why the fuck are we in a relationship? Intimacy is important to me, so naturally I’m going to push for it and try to make it happen. That’s not an entitlement, that’s just the basis of a sexual relationship. If my partner isn’t in the mood, I’m not going to expect anything to happen. If my partner isn’t ever in the mood, then we’re gonna have a talk about our relationship.
If a partner is deliberately withholding affection because of a specific action, that’s fucked up. If a partner isn’t interested in sex because of problems in the relationship, that’s perfectly normal and a healthy exercise of boundaries. But because we’re making that distinction for why someone might not want to have sex, we also have to make that distinction for why someone wants to have sex. Wanting to have sex because you want to be intimate with your partner is totally fine, expecting sex regardless of the state of your relationship is absurd and unhealthy. You or I can’t ascribe relationship difficulties to this situation because we don’t know these people, but it never hurts to have an honest conversation with you partner when you’re upset.)
- No location available
-