(highlight:: Alrighty - so this process can take some time, and it can help to have a partner - or if you are good at working things through on paper you can do it yourself.

1. Write down your top ten values
2. Write down 10 more values
3. Write down 10 more values
4. write down 10 more values
5. Write down 10 more values
   It will get MUCH harder as you go along, and it is important to try to get all 50, as the first set is the stuff at the top of your mind, the stuff you have to search a bit harder for gets you looking below the obvious surface stuff.
   From this huge list now pick 20 that you spend the most time, money and/or energy on. This is the REAL key to identifying true values as opposed to your 'should' values. Should values are the things that we know we should hold as dear, culturally ingrained ideals, things that have been imposed form the outside but that we really only pay lip service to. The true test of what you value is whether you spend you time, money or energy on either moving towards it, or moving away from it (*yes values can be 'move away from' - some people think more in 'move away from' terms and while it can be a powerful tool to build in a complimentary 'move towards' to create a directionalised propulsion system, if you are someone who has a strong value on moving away from something, trying to flat out replace it with a move towards is not necessarily going to work well because it is NOT what you actually value).
   *Again, I can go into more detail if anyone wants
   With your new list of 20 now try to rank them to identify the top 10, again by how much time, money and energy you dedicate to them.
   This is a great time to evaluate whether each value is move towards or move away from, and whether it is an Ends Value (something you value in and of itself) or a means value, which allows you to achieve something else. There is nothing wrong with Means values, but it is worth seeing if you are double dipping on an end value somewhere (in which case it may be more important than you realise) and also might be indicative of being a little limited in your thinking about how that end value can be achieved - it is great to explore what OTHER ways there might be to attain that end value and ask yourself whether you even want the means value if there is another way to have the end value. (the classic example of this is 'Would you still work if you didn't need money?")
   If you are getting stuck at all with the rankings ask yourself - If I could have value X without value Y, would I want it? and vice versa - if I could have value Y without value X would I want it. Sometimes the answer in both cases with be Yes - in which case pay close attention to the strength of your response. There is a difference between 'Ye-eee-ee-ss...? and YES!!! This is where partners can help)
   Stay away from judging your values as you rank them. This is the HARDEST part for a lot of people, because their 'shoulds' come back with a vengeance. I have literally had clients throw a tantrum for 'suggesting' that they were 'selfish' because their own value rankings were not in the order they believed they SHOULD be in. How could 'Family' possibly be so low? How could 'Entertainment' possibly outrank 'Integrity' - am I trying to say they are a terrible person? Of course not. Whether or not they have ever been aware of the relative position of their values these things have been at play, the push and pull, the unconscious prioritisation, where their attention goes... that has been there all along shaping your decisions, and this is why we don't just accept that first list of 10 where everyone is going to say things like 'family, honesty etc'
   Now work with your top 5 or 10 - think about what you can do everyday in your life to honour these values, to bring more expression of them into what you do - think outside the box a bit, and don't feel like it has to be BIG - with values the key is getting at least a little bit of value expression in as much as you can, rather than sequestering some chunk of time for "VALUE" and expecting the rest of your life to be unrewarding drudgery.
   Identify any ways in which your life/habits/job/choices work against them - and how you can eliminate or reduce those.
   Check back in every 12 months or so, or anytime you have gone through a major life change as values do shift and change over time.
   Think back over decisions you have made in the last 6 -12 months and see if you can identify patterns of where your top ranking values have played into those decisions. It can be especially interesting to look at goals you have set, and whether or not you have achieved them, and what values were in play when they were successful vs unsuccessful. Be mindful of this as you go into the future - goals that support your most highly held values are wired for more success than goals which are trumped by your most highly held values.)
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