(highlight:: Pretty much the same sort of thing. I think the best route is to imagine you've been dating those people for two years. It's really stopping and saying to yourself, "What do I REALLY Know about this person?"
It's thinking back to the very beginning of the relationship with your current SO: that's usually how it starts with everybody. Lots of feel-good projection to fill the gaps of what you don't know.
It is difficult when you have limited dating experience and you settle down relatively young. I had one boyfriend before my husband -- met that guy at 19. Treated me like complete shit while I bent over backwards to take care of him. I dodged that bullet and started dating my husband shy of my 21st birthday. We married when I was in my mid-20s.
I'm very rare in that regard: it seemsl like most folks either marry a guy they started dating as teenagers or they marry significantly later -- late 20s, early 30s. I began dating late in life and didn't have to date much to meet my spouse.
I will always wonder what it would have been like to date around more. To ever sleep with someone else. But, I'd be focusing only on the positive aspects of those experiences. The truth is, I know a lot of women who have dated a lot -- and been cheated on shitloads of times, had physically abusive partners in there, etc. I know women who got pregnant by guys who weren't really father material -- or contracted an STD from the guy.
Most women date lots or even get to explore before they marry, and the experience winds up being positive or neutral at best. But, I am glad that I avoided the worst aspects of it.)
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(highlight:: Well, I started dating my boyfriend very young and sometimes I do feel a little regret that I didn't wait and experience the freedom of being a single adult, but then I just think of all the times he's taken care of me when I'm sick, held me and wiped my tears when I cry, the way he kisses my hair when we're cuddling on the sofa, how he laughs at my corny jokes and listens when I'm eambling about something I just learned even if he already knows about it, and how he's seen me at my absolute worst and still thinks I'm beautiful, and I think about the times when I've listened to him when he's angry and needs to rant, or when I bake him his favourite muffins or that wonderful boyish face of wonder every time I make a nice surprise for him, and all the other countless things that make me love him.
I think that beats the hell out of hooking up a few times with random hot guys at a bar.)
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(highlight:: For me, it is a mix of "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" and "the grass is greener where you water it."
If there is something i don't like in my relationship, i work to change it and communicate my needs to my SO. And a lot of times, when the romance dies down in a relationship, all it takes is a spark to light it back up. But so many people try to get that spark with someone else rather than with the person they are with. And just because another guy catches my eye, i can't forget all the things my SO is and has been to me. I also don't think different or new and sparkly is better and have learned the hard way that it isn't...)
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