(highlight:: I could be wrong but I feel like I see this cycle a lot on Reddit: one partner withholds sex and the other withholds non sexual touch. I don’t know if it matters if the withholding is intentional but I’m not sure it matters. Both partners need to give at the same time.
Non sexual intimacy is absolutely necessary for me to want to connect sexually and I’ve been with two men where that was withheld (intentionally or not) and I started withholding sex - not as a punishment but because I couldn’t be sexual with someone who only touched me for sex. We could never get out of the spiral because I always recognized it too late.
I don’t have a solution, just sharing my thoughts.)
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(highlight:: Communication is key. Trust me!! It took me 14 years of marriage to realize how F’n important open conversation is. Lack of sex almost lead to divorce. Then one day I realizes that the revolving door to a healthy relationship needed to start with myself and being more out and open in conversation.
That little voice in your head that you think to yourself, let that little bastard be heard. In a respectful way.
If you only keep inner dialogues going, it will hurt everyone.
We now do relationship/conversation cards every night and it has really opened up great conversation that’s brought us closer than ever before. The sex has been trailing in and it’s amazing sex we haven’t had since our dating days.)
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