I don’t have advice, I only have my own personal story to add to the narrative here.I was the low libido partner. For… years actually, we rarely had sex. I cried and cried to my partner, telling him I worried I’d never be able to fulfill his sexual needs. I felt inadequate, like I would never live up to his expectations. He assured me at every turn that I was enough just as I was.This year, my libido increased significantly, due to lots of personal reasons. Suddenly we were having sex every day or every other day. Easily like… 3x as much sex as we were having before, if not more.But we are 6 years deep in our relationship. For 5 years my partner dealt with me having a low libido while he wanted sex at least every other day. And recently I sobbed to him again— this time out of joy and love and gratitude for him. I told him I remembered how much he used to tell me that sex was the least important thing about me to him. I remembered the way he would hold me every time I ruined our sex by feeling depressed afterwards or crying because I would never be good enough. I remembered the way he didn’t push me, just let me move at my own pace. I remembered how even years into our relationship, when he started to touch me in any way sexually he would look at me and ask if it was okay. And all of these little things add up to mean more to me than he will ever know. Our sex right now Is frequent and way more fun than it used to be, and I know that so much of comfort that allows us to have sex like that comes from my knowledge that he will be there even when I’m NOT able to have frequent, fun sex.Libido mismatches are difficult. It’s very common. And as the low libido partner, it is very hard to not beat yourself up for never feeling sexy, and eventually sometimes you become repulsed by sex because you’re constantly stressed about it.I can’t offer you advice here. Lots of people on Reddit like to push for breakups or divorce over libido differences. But I’m here as an advocate for the low libido guys and gals out there— if everything else in the relationship is perfect, and the sex you DO have is good, I think yall can find a way to work it out. I don’t think this has to be a death sentence for the relationship if you don’t let it be. Just my 2 cents
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I don’t have advice, I only have my own personal story to add to the narrative here.I was the low libido partner. For… years actually, we rarely had sex. I cried and cried to my partner, telling him I worried I’d never be able to fulfill his sexual needs. I felt inadequate, like I would never live up to his expectations. He assured me at every turn that I was enough just as I was.This year, my libido increased significantly, due to lots of personal reasons. Suddenly we were having sex every day or every other day. Easily like… 3x as much sex as we were having before, if not more.But we are 6 years deep in our relationship. For 5 years my partner dealt with me having a low libido while he wanted sex at least every other day. And recently I sobbed to him again— this time out of joy and love and gratitude for him. I told him I remembered how much he used to tell me that sex was the least important thing about me to him. I remembered the way he would hold me every time I ruined our sex by feeling depressed afterwards or crying because I would never be good enough. I remembered the way he didn’t push me, just let me move at my own pace. I remembered how even years into our relationship, when he started to touch me in any way sexually he would look at me and ask if it was okay. And all of these little things add up to mean more to me than he will ever know. Our sex right now Is frequent and way more fun than it used to be, and I know that so much of comfort that allows us to have sex like that comes from my knowledge that he will be there even when I’m NOT able to have frequent, fun sex.Libido mismatches are difficult. It’s very common. And as the low libido partner, it is very hard to not beat yourself up for never feeling sexy, and eventually sometimes you become repulsed by sex because you’re constantly stressed about it.I can’t offer you advice here. Lots of people on Reddit like to push for breakups or divorce over libido differences. But I’m here as an advocate for the low libido guys and gals out there— if everything else in the relationship is perfect, and the sex you DO have is good, I think yall can find a way to work it out. I don’t think this has to be a death sentence for the relationship if you don’t let it be. Just my 2 cents
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