Hi, I'm the guy in his late 30s who is in a marriage where we have both experienced so many wonderful things and shared a ton of mutual growth over the past 7 years. The past three, though, following a series of mental health issues and hospitalizations from my wife have resulted in a dead bedroom scenario.I agree that Noah is onto something with the idea that men are lacking in intimacy. But, I can only speak to my experiences. I have a ton of intimacy. I have friends who I am vulnerable with. I have a partner who loves and supports me and wants the best for me. Yet, if I am going to be totally vulnerable here I am suffering immensely and I have an incredibly hard time taking Noah truly seriously in this moment. I am held every night. I cuddle with my wife regularly. I don't believe I am entitled to sex, as is evident by the fact that we've had sex a handful of times this year (which has been consistent over the past 3 years). I am honestly at a place where I don't feel like I need to be intimate or held, but desired. I don't even know if that actually involves sex or just having someone to flirt with. We're in a monogamous situation and I've been faithful to that: I love her deeply, and I know that she loves me deeply, but in the end I can't help but think that it's not intimacy that I'm missing but desire and all of the experiences that come with that. I honestly don't think a sex worker would fix this, as I'm not seeking to simply ejaculate with a partner but to actually experience the energy exchange that comes with desire, flirtation, and everything that leads up to a sexual encounter. I miss that dance dearly, arguably more than I actually miss sex.Anyway, thanks for listening. I don't comment or post here often (maybe 1 time before), but I value the conversation that this sub brings to the table. I hope you all have a great day.
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- [note::This reminds me of how Rose suggested we go to a bar separately and pretend like we don't know each other.]

Women being innately competent at processing emotions is as much a cultural ideal as men being innately able to suppress our emotions. It shouldn't be surprising that many women have trouble living up to standards placed on women, just like no man ever matches up to the standards placed on men.
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In some languages there are multiple words for love. In ancient Greek thought (Wikipedia is unclear if these are still common) there were 6 words that describe different kinds of love:Agape - Unconditional love, like to your children; used a lot in religious contextsEros - Sexual, intimate lovePhilia - Brotherly love between equalsStorge - A common or natural empathyPhilautia - Self-love, care for yourselfXenia - Hospitable love to guestsThe love you feel for your friends would probably be considered philia while a love to your partner would include eros.
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Hi, I'm the guy in his late 30s who is in a marriage where we have both experienced so many wonderful things and shared a ton of mutual growth over the past 7 years. The past three, though, following a series of mental health issues and hospitalizations from my wife have resulted in a dead bedroom scenario.I agree that Noah is onto something with the idea that men are lacking in intimacy. But, I can only speak to my experiences. I have a ton of intimacy. I have friends who I am vulnerable with. I have a partner who loves and supports me and wants the best for me. Yet, if I am going to be totally vulnerable here I am suffering immensely and I have an incredibly hard time taking Noah truly seriously in this moment. I am held every night. I cuddle with my wife regularly. I don't believe I am entitled to sex, as is evident by the fact that we've had sex a handful of times this year (which has been consistent over the past 3 years). I am honestly at a place where I don't feel like I need to be intimate or held, but desired. I don't even know if that actually involves sex or just having someone to flirt with. We're in a monogamous situation and I've been faithful to that: I love her deeply, and I know that she loves me deeply, but in the end I can't help but think that it's not intimacy that I'm missing but desire and all of the experiences that come with that. I honestly don't think a sex worker would fix this, as I'm not seeking to simply ejaculate with a partner but to actually experience the energy exchange that comes with desire, flirtation, and everything that leads up to a sexual encounter. I miss that dance dearly, arguably more than I actually miss sex.Anyway, thanks for listening. I don't comment or post here often (maybe 1 time before), but I value the conversation that this sub brings to the table. I hope you all have a great day.
- No location available
-
- [note::This reminds me of how Rose suggested we go to a bar separately and pretend like we don't know each other.]

Women being innately competent at processing emotions is as much a cultural ideal as men being innately able to suppress our emotions. It shouldn't be surprising that many women have trouble living up to standards placed on women, just like no man ever matches up to the standards placed on men.
- No location available
-

In some languages there are multiple words for love. In ancient Greek thought (Wikipedia is unclear if these are still common) there were 6 words that describe different kinds of love:Agape - Unconditional love, like to your children; used a lot in religious contextsEros - Sexual, intimate lovePhilia - Brotherly love between equalsStorge - A common or natural empathyPhilautia - Self-love, care for yourselfXenia - Hospitable love to guestsThe love you feel for your friends would probably be considered philia while a love to your partner would include eros.
- No location available
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