This is advice for couples who actually both interested in returning sex to their home. This is my perspective as LLF who overcame DB with my HL partner. I was disgusted of sex because felt pressure that he will be frustrated if foreplay will not lead to sex. My sexuality is reactive. If I initiate sex it doesn’t mean I’m horny. It means I’m in a mood, but to become horny I need foreplay without touching sensitive parts of a body like nipples or clit. It’s unpleasant before I’m ready. I don’t know in advance wether I will manage to turn on. Pressure that it should end with sex even more discouraged me from turning on and I ended up with sex with low sexual arousal, sometimes even painful. It creates trauma and I want stop initiating, I felt disgust. Please encourage you LL partner to touch you and ensure them it’s safe to stop at any moment if it’s not working without pressure. It’s crucial.Hope this advice will help anybody because I didn’t understand that before.
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It is frustrating! And you have the right to be frustrated. You DON'T have the right to force your partner to fix the frustration (especially through sex). Not saying you specifically would do that, but that's the issue at hand. The LL is feeling like (s)he has to fix your frustration. Therefore unwanted sex happens. The solution is NOT for you to just don't get frustrated. The solution is for you to find ways to deal with your frustration that don't take it out on your partner. You partner must allow you the space to be frustrated, and to deal with it yourself.How you deal with being frustrated. Maybe a cold shower, maybe masturbate, maybe buy a punching bag, go for a walk, play a video game. Whatever works for you. But this particular thing can't involve your partner, at least not when you're frusteated with your partner.To be expected to not be frustrated is insane. But it isn't your partner's responsibility to fix it. Both HL and LL need to understand that.
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- frustration, libido, sex, favorite,

This is advice for couples who actually both interested in returning sex to their home. This is my perspective as LLF who overcame DB with my HL partner. I was disgusted of sex because felt pressure that he will be frustrated if foreplay will not lead to sex. My sexuality is reactive. If I initiate sex it doesn’t mean I’m horny. It means I’m in a mood, but to become horny I need foreplay without touching sensitive parts of a body like nipples or clit. It’s unpleasant before I’m ready. I don’t know in advance wether I will manage to turn on. Pressure that it should end with sex even more discouraged me from turning on and I ended up with sex with low sexual arousal, sometimes even painful. It creates trauma and I want stop initiating, I felt disgust. Please encourage you LL partner to touch you and ensure them it’s safe to stop at any moment if it’s not working without pressure. It’s crucial.Hope this advice will help anybody because I didn’t understand that before.
- No location available
-

It is frustrating! And you have the right to be frustrated. You DON'T have the right to force your partner to fix the frustration (especially through sex). Not saying you specifically would do that, but that's the issue at hand. The LL is feeling like (s)he has to fix your frustration. Therefore unwanted sex happens. The solution is NOT for you to just don't get frustrated. The solution is for you to find ways to deal with your frustration that don't take it out on your partner. You partner must allow you the space to be frustrated, and to deal with it yourself.How you deal with being frustrated. Maybe a cold shower, maybe masturbate, maybe buy a punching bag, go for a walk, play a video game. Whatever works for you. But this particular thing can't involve your partner, at least not when you're frusteated with your partner.To be expected to not be frustrated is insane. But it isn't your partner's responsibility to fix it. Both HL and LL need to understand that.
- No location available
- frustration, libido, sex, favorite,