Whichever flavor of doom is on your mind, it is unlikely that you personally are in a position to fix it. Even if you do happen to be a leading AI researcher or a vaccine-developing epidemiologist, you still won’t save everyone all by yourself, especially given that we’re up against multiple dooms at once. You’re going to have to figure out what you have control over and what you don’t. For the control bucket, you need to apply agency and for the can’t-control bucket you need to apply acceptance.When it comes to these Big Bad Dooms and your personal control over them, they mostly fall into the can’t-control bucket.
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Acceptance looks like: seeing clearly what is going on and how limited your own role is. Allowing yourself to feel grief about your lack of power, lack of control, how sad you feel about how the future is unfolding, how much you wanted a different future that isn’t likely to come to pass. Trusting that you are strong enough to weather that grief. Neither shirking the grief nor dwelling in it; spending time in it for a while, setting it aside to do other things, and then returning to it later. More on this in the next section.And then, when you feel like you might be strong enough, returning to the can-control bucket and getting on with your life.
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Many people don’t realize that grieving is something you can actively participate in, that you can be conscious and intentional about how you experience the pain of loss. When you are up against a big loss, you either grieve it or you numb yourself, and if you numb yourself too hard for too long, you don’t just skip the pain, you become a sleepwalker in your own life, acting the part of a person but not really feeling any of it.
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When I grieve about the future, this is how I do it:I spend some time thinking about what I have lost. I really flesh out the expectation or vision that I used to have, that I now find myself cut off from. What was great about that vision? What about it gave me joy and hope?I acknowledge that that future was never really mine anyway; it was just a prediction.Next I spend some time thinking about the world I now believe is the real one. I notice as many differences as I can, most of which I judge as bad, but a few of which may also be a relief.As I think about those differences, many feelings come up. Anger, rage, fear, sadness, despair. I allow the feelings to build and then subside again. At their peak, I wonder if I can tolerate the intensity, but it always turns out that I can.After the feelings, I feel tired, a little weak, but clean. I do something to take care of my physical body. I stretch, I drink some water, I rest.And then I get up and get on with my life.
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Finally, the only thing I know for sure about all of these Dooms is that the rules for life are changing. There will be a tremendous amount of upheaval in the coming years. With so much volatility and unpredictability in our economic, social, and political structures, tried and true strategies for plotting out our lives feel unhelpful. Traditional notions of career and retirement planning are unlikely to serve us well.My suggestion is this: don’t front load all the work and expect to get your payout decades later. Do an even mix of work and play all the time from now on.
- No location available
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Whichever flavor of doom is on your mind, it is unlikely that you personally are in a position to fix it. Even if you do happen to be a leading AI researcher or a vaccine-developing epidemiologist, you still won’t save everyone all by yourself, especially given that we’re up against multiple dooms at once. You’re going to have to figure out what you have control over and what you don’t. For the control bucket, you need to apply agency and for the can’t-control bucket you need to apply acceptance.When it comes to these Big Bad Dooms and your personal control over them, they mostly fall into the can’t-control bucket.
- No location available
-

Acceptance looks like: seeing clearly what is going on and how limited your own role is. Allowing yourself to feel grief about your lack of power, lack of control, how sad you feel about how the future is unfolding, how much you wanted a different future that isn’t likely to come to pass. Trusting that you are strong enough to weather that grief. Neither shirking the grief nor dwelling in it; spending time in it for a while, setting it aside to do other things, and then returning to it later. More on this in the next section.And then, when you feel like you might be strong enough, returning to the can-control bucket and getting on with your life.
- No location available
-

Many people don’t realize that grieving is something you can actively participate in, that you can be conscious and intentional about how you experience the pain of loss. When you are up against a big loss, you either grieve it or you numb yourself, and if you numb yourself too hard for too long, you don’t just skip the pain, you become a sleepwalker in your own life, acting the part of a person but not really feeling any of it.
- No location available
-

When I grieve about the future, this is how I do it:I spend some time thinking about what I have lost. I really flesh out the expectation or vision that I used to have, that I now find myself cut off from. What was great about that vision? What about it gave me joy and hope?I acknowledge that that future was never really mine anyway; it was just a prediction.Next I spend some time thinking about the world I now believe is the real one. I notice as many differences as I can, most of which I judge as bad, but a few of which may also be a relief.As I think about those differences, many feelings come up. Anger, rage, fear, sadness, despair. I allow the feelings to build and then subside again. At their peak, I wonder if I can tolerate the intensity, but it always turns out that I can.After the feelings, I feel tired, a little weak, but clean. I do something to take care of my physical body. I stretch, I drink some water, I rest.And then I get up and get on with my life.
- No location available
-

Finally, the only thing I know for sure about all of these Dooms is that the rules for life are changing. There will be a tremendous amount of upheaval in the coming years. With so much volatility and unpredictability in our economic, social, and political structures, tried and true strategies for plotting out our lives feel unhelpful. Traditional notions of career and retirement planning are unlikely to serve us well.My suggestion is this: don’t front load all the work and expect to get your payout decades later. Do an even mix of work and play all the time from now on.
- No location available
-